Page 2

H arlem Bleu

Days later

I glared at my half-brother who was once again trying to tell me how I should run my kennel. A man with no funds or any sort of business shouldn’t have felt so comfortable, but that was my fault. I didn’t check him in the door like I would have anybody else. I gave him grace, and I didn’t do that with many.

“I’m just saying, Harlem. You could make a couple racks off this one. Stud him out and ge?—”

“I don’t stud my dogs, Hari. You know that and can you put him down? I thought your father sent you here to work?” I rolled my eyes to the ceiling. My father had called asking if I had any extra work for my older brother to do around the shop. That was lowkey code for he needed him out of his face. I guess he couldn’t look in the mirror for too long.

“Yeah. I’m on break though.” He put the puppy back in the pen.

I rolled my eyes again before I glared at him. “Hari, will you go break down the boxes please? I need to take an important phone call.”

“What? I can’t be in here while you talk on the phone?” he asked, immediately irritated.

“Nah, you can’t. You came here to work, right? You’re not getting paid to stand in here when work has to be done.” I could only hold my irritation at bay for so long before I exploded. I had been this way since I was a kid, let my mama tell it.

He sucked his teeth and stormed out of my office, sure to slam the door behind himself. He was a straight bitch and he knew it.

I was seconds from picking up my phone when it started ringing. Of course it was Caya. I told her I was about to call her and she called me instead. I guess I was taking too long for her impatient ass.

“You said five minutes. It’s been seven.”

I cackled. “I was trying to get Hari out of my office. Now what’s up? What was so urgent that yo?—”

“How did it go?” she asked, sounding like she was in a busy club. She was probably just at her shop.

“How did what go?” I asked, standing and moving to pick up the puppy Hari had just put down. I had to admit he was a cute little thing. Had he been a girl I would have kept him, but I couldn’t. Then again I could have him neutered and make him a pet only. Shit would be a first. The pup was a full suited, blue merle with the cutest eyes. At first glance they were glacier blue, but in the sun they were green crystal. It was magnificent.

“You walked into that damn garage and showed your natural born ass two days ago.”

I laughed. “Well, actually… The owner is gonna fix my car Monday night.” I couldn’t help the smile that spread onto my lips at the thought of Kinga. I didn’t know much about him, but the man was fine. He looked so mean, but when he smiled he had teeth white enough to light up the entire room. The man had to be sculpted, standing at about six-three with the most menacing stare. His locks were triceps length, black from the scalp and a deep auburn from his ear on down. Tight eyes centered his handsome, strong facial structure as well as a few freckles. They by no means made him look any softer because the man looked mean… shit too mean. He was the color of fresh honey with tattoos all over from what I could see. The only place they were missing were his neck and face.

“Hello, earth to Harlem. Where are you?”

“My bad. What did you say?” I asked, coming out of my thoughts and back into the present.

“I said how did you swing that? The owner fixing your shit.”

I shrugged like she could see me. “I don’t know, probably with my charm.”

Caya laughed. “Bitch, you’re gorgeous, but you have as much charm as my left toe. You kinda mean, baby girl.”

“I’m really not. I just don’t like bullshit. And apparently I am because by the time I made it home he was asking me where I wanted my money to be sent.”

“So wait, he reimbursed you? Damn, how did he get the money back?” she asked just as curious as I was.

“Who knows. That was the same thing I asked, but when he called me we didn’t talk about it. We ended up talking about dogs.”

“Waiiittt. Bitch you’re holding out on me. Not only did he offer to fix your car, and reimburse you, but you also had a casual phone conversation? How does he look?”

I ended up giving her the best description of Kinga I could without sounding like I was too into the man. That was the last thing I needed.

“He sounds fine and fuckable. You gonna fuck him?”

“Um no, I’m not. He is the mechanic who is gonna fix my car. That is it, Cay.”

“Girl, bye. You’re on a break with Zax and depriving yourself of pleasure. Not only that but you’re about five days from joining the nunnery. Please get some or, if you don’t do that, give somebody a chance.”

“Um no. How about that? And the fact that you keep saying break is triggering. That man has a baby on the way by his secretary. You sound like him saying ‘break’.” I rolled my eyes to the ceiling just thinking about the bullshit I was scraping off my shoe. One minute I was in a loving, committed relationship, or so I thought, and the next he asked for a break. Like a dummy I gave him one and went about my life, not messing with anyone or anything, just learning to be alone for once. Three months into the break Zax came back saying he loved me. We were together for three months before he had the balls to tell me about the baby he had on the way. It was his belief that since it was a break baby, it didn’t count as cheating. Too bad it did to me and nothing he could say would make me think otherwise. Honestly, the situation was messy, and only kept getting worse because instead of addressing it and telling him this break was indefinite, I was still having sex with him and doing couples shit up until last month when I found out I was pregnant. I aborted it and the only person to know about it was Caya because I refused to tie myself to him. That was my first and last time doing anything like that. I didn’t believe in abortion, yet I’d used it to rectify one of my reckless ass decisions.

“But anyways, dinner tonight at Willows? I’ve been craving some of Mama Ruth’s smothered pork chops.” Caya’s voice interrupted my brief trip down memory lane.

“Uh yeah. Seven?” Caya was a health freak ninety-two percent of the time, but that other eight percent had her requesting I bring her plates from my mama’s house and eat at Willow’s with her at least once a week.

“And you know it. Now let me get these heffas out of my salon.”

Once we hung up, my attention went back to the puppy in my arms. His price was ten-thousand. If nobody bought him I’d keep him as a pet, no breeding.

I stared aimlessly at my inventory when I heard a knock on my door.

“Come in.” I figured it was Emile. She was my only full-time employee while the others were part-time. When I looked up and saw the face entering my office, annoyance filled my body. Why the fuck was he here?

“Hey, babe. I haven’t heard from you, I just figured I’d check in and come see about you.” Though I borderline hated his ass, he was still fine. So fine that I just looked at him. He had skin the color of the moistest dirt, early spring. Simply beautiful without a blemish in sight and he knew it. Zax stood about six feet even, with a head full of curly hair. He was a pretty boy, and damn sure not my type, but shit, when I met him I didn’t have a type. Well maybe I did, but probably not a physical type. Truth was, my type was any man who could make me laugh. Most of all a man who could make me feel protected and loved. Zax had the first part and maybe even the second but feeling loved disappeared when he asked for a break. Even after the break ended, before I found out about the baby, the love had yet to come back. I guess I just swept it under the rug and told myself at some point I’d trust him with my heart again. Some point never came.

“I kind of wish you would have called. I’m getting ready to leave for the night.”

He nodded, sitting at the corner of the tall table a few feet from my desk. “Let me guess, standing dinner with Caya?”

“Yup.” I began to gather my things with one hand while the other gripped the puppy. I still had to load him, his siblings, and his mother up and take them home before leaving to meet Cay.

“I miss you.”

I had no response for that. I actually felt sick to my stomach hearing him utter that shit like he really meant it. Maybe he did, but that didn’t matter to me. It couldn’t.

“I know you’re not gonna say it back. I just needed to get it off my chest.” He was also a smooth talking lawyer, good at getting his point across.

I nodded. “Is that al?—”

“I know you need time, and I swear I’m tryna be patient, but baby can you just let me show you?”

“Show me what?” I asked, confused.

“That I’ve changed. That I learned from my mistakes.”

I didn’t respond. I was on my feet getting everything ready to leave.

“Say something, Harlem. Shit… curse me out.”

I held up the little dog I had become fond of. “Hold him, will you?”

He sucked his teeth, but ultimately grabbed the dog. He hated breeding and most of the time called it a hobby.

“I think I’m gonna keep him,” I said, moving around to finish loading everything else.

“Why? You don’t keep boys.”

I shrugged. “He was the only boy of a seven pup litter. He's cute and very charming.”

“Oh.”

“Do you know why I gravitate toward animals, Zax?” I asked with my back still turned to him.

“You’ve always loved them.”

“No, because you can look an animal in its eyes and see how much it loves you. A dog in particular cannot lie or deceive you. It’s just a dog, loyalty on four legs.” Once I had the puppies in the carrying crate and their mother on leash, I turned to look at him.

He just looked at me. He was pitiful… so fucking pitiful. “I am loyal to you, Harlem.”

“So you say, but in order for you to need a break that means you thought about fucking her and whoever else, right?”

He was quiet, giving me an answer I didn’t need because I’d surely go home and obsess over it. I was over the situation, or so I told myself, but I was still the type to obsess over the smallest things. Including an unnecessary conversation with the ex who refused to let go.

He helped me get the dogs to the car, then cornered me between my door and his body. “I love you enough to wait as long as you need to forgive me. I’m not going anywhere, because I know like you know we’re meant to be together.” Then he kissed the side of my face and backed up.

Hopefully he would be able to wait a lifetime because I had no intention of going back to him. ***

“So you’re telling me as soon as we got off the phone he pulled up?”

“Yep.”

“And you compared him to a dog, Harlem?” She giggled and I nodded.

“It should have been an honor for him to be compared to one of my dogs.” I shrugged because that was the truth.

“Shut your crazy ass up. You weren’t comparing that man to your dog because you thought highly of him. You were telling him your dog is better than him…right?”

I shrugged. “Well.”

“So, you’re not taking him back?” she asked, eyes housing seriousness for once tonight.

“No, I’m not. I can’t. After everything I feel like what I did would be in vain. Not only that, but I’ll never trust him again. I’ll never be able to love him freely because who knows when he’ll get tired of me and need a break again? Is he gonna make a baby that time too? I refuse to put myself through that.”

“And you’re right. You shouldn’t have to. There is someone out there to love you and give you all that you need. Just gotta be patient. And love yourself extra hard until that person pops up.”

“So I hear. How is my godbaby? Does he miss me yet?” I asked about her son Adonis. He usually came by the shop to puppy sit with me during the summer, but I hadn’t seen him. Cay had allowed him to spend several weeks of the summer in Crescent Falls with her mother.

“He’s good. He’s not ready to come home, but I’m going to get him next week. I miss my baby and I’m sure my mama has overfed him every day he's been there to spite me.”

I laughed. “To spite you?”

“Hell yeah. I said no pork…she gave my baby pork. I said no sugary juices and she gave him that too. Shit I even told her to limit his cheese and dairy intake, for obvious reasons, and the other day when I was on FaceTime with him he had a fucking yogurt pop in his mouth. That lady is corrupting my child.”

I laughed so hard I couldn’t control myself. Just the thought had me in stitches because Cay was a lowkey control freak about things like that. “You know she ju?—”

“Aht, aht. You are not about to take her side. Not on my watch. She’s wrong and she knows it. I gave her my baby for a month and now I gotta get him home and deprogram him. Lord knows what I’ma do if he gets his ass here and asks me to smother a fucking pork chop.”

I looked at her like she was crazy, then pointed to her plate where she definitely had a smothered pork chop. “This is different, I’m grown and it’s only once a week,” she tried to explain, but nope I wasn’t going for that.

“It doesn't matter. You’re still eating it.”

She waved me off.

“You’re so bullheaded, woman.” I dug into my mac and cheese, then stuffed a spoonful in my mouth.

“So you gonna fuck the shop owner?”

“Nope. It’s not like that. He’s just gonna fix my car.”

“Among other things. Shit, if he looks like you described, I’d climb that tree right after he fixed the floor in my car.” She then winked.

“Um no, I’ll pass,” I said aloud but clutched my thighs together tightly. Just the thought of that man sent heat signals between my thighs. I had no intention of sleeping with him, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t fine.

“So you say, and you probably mean it, but your insides aren’t dead. You think he’s fine. I can tell by the way you’re clammed up over there. Either take Zax’s bitch ass back or move on with your life. Either way I won’t judge you, but I will curse your ass out initially if you choose to take him back.”

I laughed. “I hear you.”

“Glad you do because I only have one convincing pep talk in me a week.”

Caya and I talked for a while longer before paying our tabs and going our separate ways. I needed to get home and care for the pups while she was tired from being on her feet all day. Usually when we got home we’d call one another and talk on the phone the whole night, but tonight differed when I pulled up and my oldest brother OA was at my door. I got there right in time to see him jabbing his key in the door to open it. I had already noticed his car parked in my driveway when I pulled up.

“The fuck you coming from so late?” he asked, tone just as brash as his attitude.

“Dinner. Why are you here this late?”

“Toya. Thought somebody was about to stay at her people’s house with her so I dipped. The fuck I look like laid out in a twin sized bed?” he grumbled, opening the door for me to enter first.

I laughed. OA was every bit of our mother even though people always told me I was. OA and I shared a mother while Hari and I shared a father. I was naturally closer to OA, because we not only grew up together but my brother was a man. He handled his business and always had my best interests at heart. Every time I looked up Hari was either trying to get over on me or being like his stank ass father.

“Shit pissed me off. You know I don’t be for that arguing shit, so I left. I didn't feel like going home so I came over here. You cooked?”

“No, but I didn’t eat all my food. Barely even touched it.” I set the food carton on my counter and went straight to my fridge.

I heard the carton opening behind me, so I grabbed him a bottle of water while I grabbed one for myself. When I turned around he was already chowing down on my pasta.

“Yo, I saw your stupid ass brother posting pictures of your litter. You knew about that?”

“No I didn’t. How did you see it?”

“Toya. She sent me a picture asking if you knew about it. I told you that you needed to keep that boy and his daddy out of your space. Now look, he’s not only tryna put your life in danger, but your fucking livelihood too.”

I laughed angrily, wondering just how Hari had gotten any pictures of my puppies. He damn sure hadn’t done it in front of me, so nine times out of ten it was when I was up front helping Joy with the influx of customers we’d gotten. That pissed me off because I shouldn’t have had to lock my office in my place of business. The problem was I was being too nice, but I’d rectify that soon, very soon. Anybody who knew me knew I didn’t show my litters on social media. That was a surefire way to get robbed, or worse, killed.

“Don’t trip though. Just keep them out of your circle.”

I nodded, about to respond but my phone vibrated on the counter. Of course it was a message from an unsaved number. When I looked at it, I knew the number. I didn’t mean to memorize his number but I had. I didn’t know if I should save or disregard it, however, he had texted me.

Him : How you tryna sell me a dog but ain’t sent me one picture of it?

I didn’t know why I smiled so hard, but I did.

Me: I haven’t sold him to you yet and if I remember correctly you were supposed to be coming by the shop to see it.

Him: Yeah, when you told me you was there. I’on want nobody else helping me. I want yo’ help sweetheart.

“Who has you smiling at your phone?”

“Nobody,” I answered quickly, knowing OA was about to be all in my business, talking shit like he usually did.

“That big dumb ass smile ain’t a nobody smile. It’s somebody and it better not be ol’ dude who got a baby on the way.”

“Nah, it’s not him.” When I looked up, OA was looking at me like our mother looked at me. It was that look that let me know he was waiting to deliver a lecture.

“I’m serious, O.”

“Be that, but I said what I said. Leave him alone. Don’t make me kill him.”

“Stop. I’m done messing with that man. I can’t anymore. Trust me I won’t.”

My brother gave me one last look before nodding. “Whoever he is, tell him your brother is a shooter and shit will get ugly behind you.”

“Not necessary. Now please.”

“Yeah right.” He waved me off, then turned to go into my living room with the bottle of water and food carton.

I left the living room and moved toward the puppy room. I wasn’t too worried about how it looked or anything because I had situated them before I left. Not only that, but I paid this teenager down the street to check in on them when I wasn’t near. She was trustworthy, and also had a puppy from my earlier litter, so I knew she was capable of taking care of them. If not, then I had a puppy doula/sitter I hired when I needed her.

When I made it in, the puppies were sound asleep and both their mother and her sister who was currently pregnant were asleep as well. I was happy about that, because all I had to do was make sure everything was clean. I’d be puppy free in a few months though, and for a minute, I was looking forward to it.

My phone vibrated in my hand. I glanced down and saw it was reminding me I had received a message from Kinga two minutes ago. I reread it before responding.

ME: When do you wanna see the dog, sir?

I went to set the phone down, but it vibrated again. This time a long vibration, letting me know it was a call instead of a text. I answered, quickly cradling the phone between my ear and shoulder. Of course this was Kinga and for some reason I was okay with that, knowing damn well I shouldn’t have answered, but instead returned his call in the morning. There I would have been keeping it professional, but we both knew a ten in the evening call was nowhere near professional time, meaning this man didn’t want a dog any more than I wanted to keep any of this professional. It just sounded good to tell myself I was. So hell yeah, I was about to take this late ass call.