Page 16

H arlem

When I woke up this morning, Kinga was no longer in bed.I knew he had an early day at the shop and he had to take Aja to school. He woke me up talking this morning, but I didn’t really hear a thing from his lips. I was so tired that nothing truly registered in my mind until I was getting ready to start my day and he sent me a text telling me my tire was flat and he’d fix it when he came in tonight. He instructed me to take his truck, even though I told him a million times that I only drove my own vehicle. I cracked though, and ended up driving it, because not only did the puppies have an appointment, but I had other things to do today. I hadn’t been spending much time at my shop these last few weeks and I missed it. Even though I had a staff of four who handled day to day, I still missed how hands-on I used to be there. It always got this way after a litter of puppies were born. Between caring for them and their mother, I usually played it safe in the house, but this time I had really been relying on the puppy nanny. She was great and a big help for the tedious things. Puppy care was no joke.

The main thing on my mind was the possibility of a baby neither of us planned. It was finally time for me to see if I was pregnant or we were just overthinking recklessness. While Kinga comfortably played in the what ifs, I needed to know. I needed to be sure if I was pregnant or not. Yes, I loved him regardless, but we had to realize a baby would change everything entirely. It was more of a rush for us to not only get it together but to learn new things. Though I had a niece and nephew, I didn’t change pampers or do anything necessary for dealing with a baby for real. With Aja it seemed easier because she was eight. Someone had already done all of the heavy lifting when it came to raising her. She was a good kid and the absolute sweetest. Last night Kinga told me she asked if I could stay with them. I thought it was cute, having been somewhat privy to the fact that her mother was no longer in her life and her father was somewhere finding himself. Though Kinga didn’t explicitly tell me the full story, he’d told me enough.

Instead of existing in the unknown, knowing Kinga would’ve liked to know if I was or wasn’t, I bought a test before going to Caya’s today for her to take my hair down. It wasn’t until I hurled up my chicken salad that I decided to take the test. I needed to be sure and so did he. We were living in limbo because of me and he was trying to be patient. He didn’t want to push and neither did I… Funny enough, he still pushed in his own Kinga way.

The test definitely confirmed what I already knew… Yes, I was carrying this crazy man’s baby.

“I can’t believe you thought you were pregnant and didn’t tell me about it sooner.” Caya sat across from me in the chair.

I laughed. “You know I had to overthink it.”

“That you did. I bet you were running that man ragged.”

“I feel like I was, but with Kinga, my unreasonableness is always overshadowed by his ability to either handle me or make me listen to reason. Last night I told him it was time for me to go home. No, I wasn’t being crazy, but honestly I just didn’t want to overstay my welcome.” She immediately looked at me like I had two heads, almost like he looked at me last night. “Wait, let me finish before you jump on my ass.”

She extended her hands, letting me know I had the floor.

“Anyway, he regulated me in a way I didn’t think I could be regulated. He handles shit, making me feel secure and necessary. He makes me feel heard and seen in a way I never felt with Zax. I swear I don’t compare the two but with Kinga what I see is truly what I get. There isn’t another side to the coin that I’m waiting for. He’s him, through and through, and that’s a breath of the freshest air imaginable.”

“Ooh wee, bitch, you in love and you’re pregnant,” Caya squealed.

I didn’t refute her statement, instead holding on to the fullness I felt at the thought of him. The silent vibration of my phone made me look down at it in my lap. Speaking of the devil, he was calling.

“Yeah.” I mimicked the way he answered the phone.

“You fucking with me like that?” he asked, clearly amused by me mimicking him.

“I am, now how can I help you, handsome?”

“I could think of a few ways.”

I grinned hard, so damn hard my cheeks hurt. “Kinga.”

“But nah, you still at your girl’s?”

“Yes, she just finished blow drying my hair. Why, what’s wrong?”

“Fucking starving. You wanna bring me something to eat? Have your girl drop you off and you can take my car back to the spot since I know your difficult ass dropped the truck off at the house.”

“I’ll just bring you food.”

“And eat it with me.”

I smiled stupidly. Nope, I wasn’t going to turn down lunch with my man. “Fine, but you’re dropping me off at the house.”

“Bet. Get me something hood, baby.”

I knew him saying bet didn’t mean yeah. It meant we’d see when I got there. When we hung up, I glanced at myself in the mirror and shook my head.

“Lemme guess. Baby daddy called and he misses you.”

My smile gave it away without a verbal response.

“Course he did. Lemme ponytail you.” She was on her feet in seconds, moving behind me. “You want me to drop you off?”

“Yes and can you take me to grab him something to eat? Something greasy and fried.”

She laughed. “And you're gonna get it?”

“Uh yeah, because I know I’m getting a lot more when I get home tonight.”

She cackled but she knew I was getting it before she asked. “I know that’s right. I’m happy you’re happy though.”

She and I talked for a while, kind of giving updates from the time we hadn’t really been together. It was refreshing and a gift to have a friend I didn’t have to talk to every day but we both knew where we stood at the end of the day when we did talk.

It didn’t take me long to pick up the food and get dropped off in front of Kinga’s shop.

“Can I help you, sweetheart?” a guy asked as soon as I walked in.

“No thank you.” I was polite before bypassing him.

“You sure? You bringing food in here and shit, I could definitely hel?—”

“Nah but you can get your fucking skull cracked in here tryna spit game to her. He’s in his work room, shorty.” One of the guys I recognized as Ayden said, stepping to the side and allowing me past the counter to the back.

I continued in. “Thank you.”

As soon as I reached the doorway of the work room, I was smiling. The man looked so good, even when he needed a lining and had grease all over his clothes and hands. Especially when he sported that slight scowl.

“How come every time I look in your direction you look so mean?”

“’Cause I’m not looking at your pretty ass. Not on purpose but I do be missing your fine ass when you gone for long periods of time.”

I smiled. “I miss you too but I know how to call you for something other than to tell you I’m hungry.” I moved in to where he stood over his car and held his carton of food out for him.

He ducked his head, sure to kiss my lips. “Nah. Lemme wash my hands.” He then motioned toward the sink in the corner.

I nodded and turned to admire the space. There were three cars, two not his and the black one a few feet away from me was his. He loved this car. I could tell by the way he always seemed to babble about it. Not only that but the screensaver on his phone was this damn car.

“You look good, shorty,” he complimented from the sink.

“No I don’t. I look like I’ve been all over the place today. Between getting the puppies to the vet, then to the nanny, handling some shop work, going to the store, and getting my hair taken down, I look like I feel. Tired as hell.” Most of my day was spent in his blue Jeep before I took a rideshare to Caya’s. I didn’t want to overuse his truck, plus it drew too much attention. Long story short, I missed my own truck.

“What did you get from the store?” He was scrubbing his hands for dear life in the sink to get the grease off.

“The usual: snacks, a pregnancy test, and allergy meds.” His head whipped in my direction so fast but I kept going on and on like I didn’t know what part of my statement prompted that reaction. “My allergies are on the rise these days. It’s like everything feels like it’s setting me off. Like I fee?—”

“Harlem.” He was drying his hands and mugging the shit out of me at this point. Hell nah this man didn’t want to hear anything about my allergies.

“Yeah.”

“What did the test say?”

“What do you mean what did the test say? How do you know I took it?”

“Ay, Harlem.” The tone of his voice couldn’t be missed. I was getting on his damn nerves and I knew it.

“It said what we already know. I’m pregnant and my mother is going to kill you. Or maybe she won’t because she’s been begging for me to make her a grandmother since my brother’s bald headed ass baby mama started playing with my nephew.” I was babbling, watching him move in my direction.

With the speed he moved to me I should have been afraid but I wasn’t. I feared nothing he did because when it came to me he did everything out of love. I knew that because I could see it in his eyes.

“So I got a baby in there?” he asked, his hand against my flat-ish, fabric covered abdomen.

“That is what the test said. I have to make a doctor’s appointment though, to see, and first I have to find out how to do th?—”

He swallowed up my words, then pulled back and looked at me. “My baby.”

“Yes, your baby. Which I’m sure is hungry. So can we discuss your baby over food?”

He laughed. “Yeah, man, let’s go to my office.”

When we made it into his office, he peeled the jumpsuit down from his frame, revealing he only had briefs on under.

I set our food on the coffee table and took a seat, watching him get dressed. “You don’t have any more work to do?”

“I do but it ain’t every day a nigga finds out he has a youngin on the way. Where you wanna go, baby girl? I’m on your time.” He pulled his pants up and moved around to take a seat next to me.

I cheesed hard, about to respond, but a knock in the doorway broke that up. When I looked up, a dark skinned man with piercing eyes glared at Kinga. The room immediately grew cold and hate emitted from both men. Something told me this was the infamous Memphis.

“The fuck you doing here?” Kinga was on his feet fast.

The man laughed. “What am I doing here? Ask yourself.” He then looked away from Kinga to me.

Kinga moved in front of me, sure to block his line of sight. “Yo, you really wanna lose your life in here, huh?”

“That a threat, Mr. West?” he asked in a tone heavy with animosity.

“Nah, it’s a promise. Now, you wanna tell me why you just walked up in my shit like you're not at the top of a list?”

“Was my nephew on that list? There is no proof but I know it was you. You vile, scum ass nigga.”

Kinga laughed. “I don’t know what you talking about, but the only vile motherfucker in this room is you and you got about five seconds to get ou?—”

“You gonna let your girlfriend here see the real you? Because I’m sure she doesn't know you the way I do.”

I cleared my throat. “I do know him, enough to know you should probably be on your way instead of standing here antagonizing him.”

I could tell by the way he clenched his teeth my words irritated Kinga and the fact that Memphis didn’t move out of the way bothered him even more.

“You fucked up, Kinga, just remember I warned you for fucking with me.” He was gone seconds later, leaving me and Kinga alone in his office.

“I assume that was Memphis.” Well I knew that was Memphis because I’d recently seen his fake smiling ass on my TV as he announced his bid for mayor of Chicago.

He finally turned to me, and his expression said it all, but before he could open his mouth and speak, I was talking.

“Test confirmed we’re possibly having a baby. Handle your business before we confirm the news. I don’t want to be stressing about your freedom, or worse, your life.”

He just looked at me, probably looking for the words to say, but he settled on just nodding. There was honestly nothing he could say because though I didn’t know what was going on, I knew there was something. Nothing about me was na?ve, I knew the type of life Kinga lived, not in depth, but I was aware of it. I knew most men with his hood status perished before thirty or found themselves chained and locked up like wild beasts. Kinga was different though. He was content with sliding back and forth under his cars rather than running the streets. He barely kept long nights, even with whatever was going on. He was a lover boy who kept his nose clean. So I believed that exempted him from the shit every street dude dealt with. Hate, envy, and deceit from those around… Those who wanted what he ultimately suffered to attain.

“You think you're running shit?” He was seated back next to me.

“Nope. I just know you love me enough not to let whatever is going on swallow you.”

“Yeah, you right. Only wanna be swallowed up by you, shorty. Now eat up so we can get out of here.”

* * *

A few days later…

I hated that once again I felt like I was imprinting on a puppy. First Bleu, now this standard blue. I didn’t need any more dogs but with the way I knew I was gonna let Aja have Bleu, my mind made excuses for the fact that I had yet to list the pup on my site. He was cute and cuddly, the type of puppy I kept in my arms even though I knew I didn’t need or want his little ass to be spoiled. Because if I had any intention of keeping him, he needed to be capable of being alone and on the ground.

I moved through the shop, putting out the new items I stocked. That consisted of a few different colored bowls and doggie clothing. Even though I didn’t dress my dogs often, that didn’t mean others didn’t want to dress theirs.

The bell on the door sounded, letting me know someone had entered. “Welcome in.” I was aware that Emelie was in the front of the store while I was at the back. I was just so used to speaking to people that I did it naturally.

“It’s been kind of hard to catch up with you.” A familiar voice made me look up. Why was he here?

I hadn’t heard or seen Zax since OA basically told him to kick bricks. The fact that he was here, let alone trying to catch up, had me baffled, because what for?

“Uh, hey.” I looked around and prayed to God Kinga didn’t walk his ass in here. He was supposed to be bringing me breakfast any minute now because according to him I didn’t feed his baby adequately enough with the banana-nut muffin I’d eaten this morning.

“What are you looking for? I was coming by to see you. Wondering if we could talk.”

“About what Zax?”

“Damn, you don’t even seem happy to see me. You’re acting like I’m bothering you.” He now decided to play confused. “I feel like we nee?—”

I held my hand up to stop him right there. “Please stop. You have absolutely no reason to come here or even come this way. I mean unless you bought a dog and wanna buy some accessories.”

“I miss you, Harlem. I fucked up and thought we’d be able to sweep things under the rug. I thought we could get past this and you’d love me past my shortcomings.”

I shook my head, about to speak, but a voice that wasn’t my own spoke up. I didn’t even hear him come in but then again I wasn’t listening for it.

“That’s fucked up, on your part at least. Thing is I’ma need you to stop coming here.” Kinga’s voice sounded so damn uninterested that I smirked.

“Excuse me, who are you?” Zax turned to Kinga with irritation in his voice.

“Zax, you should leave. I told you I have moved on and it’s not appropriate for you to come around.” I was trying to save Zax’s ass because the expression Kinga sported was impatience.

“I came in here to pou?—”

“You came in here to get fucked up, and baby mama is too nice, so I’ma give it to you straight. The next time you come in here and ain’t buying shit, I’ma knock your fucking head off your shoulders. ’Cause after a while you gotta get over this. You gotta realize that you fucked up and that right there ain’t no business for you. She ain’t never looking your way again.” He pointed down to Zax with his free hand. He then turned to me, softening his stare. “Go ahead back there and feed my baby while I walk him out.”

I tilted my head to the side, about to give some lip, but decided against it when he blinked aggressively, extended the Styrofoam food container, and tossed his head in the direction of my office.

I did as he asked, deciding not to challenge him. By the time he made it into my office about five minutes later, he had his phone to his ear. I didn’t know who he was talking to but he seemed pretty into the conversation.

“Bet. I’ma meet you out there. Get this shit out of the way,” he said to whoever was on the line. Then seconds later he said bet again and dropped his phone into his lap. Those heavy eyes were on me like a hawk.

“You look good than a motherfucker. Got fools risking their lives to be in your face. He ain’t gonna do that no more.” He rubbed his hands together and took a seat on the couch near the dog enclosure. “I think I'll buy him from you, so we can keep him around the house.” He picked up the puppy I had been doting over.

“Thank you.” I dug into my food, watching him play with the small puppy. “You know we have dinner with my brother and mother tonight at my place even though you refuse to let me go back. I figured I should break the news to them now even though we have an appointment on Monday.”

He laughed. “I know. You're making it seem like I hold you hostage.”

“You ain’t?” I asked, just to mess with him.

He gave me a hilarious look before nodding. “Sure and I lure you in with pastries and shit.”

I cackled. “And you do, amongst other things.”

“Man, gone ahead with that shit. I gotta go handle something before tonight but I’ll meet you there. If you need something I’ll sto—” Banging on my office door interrupted what he was saying.

On his feet, Kinga put the puppy in the pen and rushed to the door. When he swung it open, I was shocked to see my mother’s baby father with a scowl on his face that turned into shock. He wasn’t expecting Kinga to open the door; he was expecting me.

“The fuck you banging on her fucking door for? You lost your fucking mind or something?”

“It was you! You put my son in the hospital and tried to kill him!” His voice carried but Kinga yoked him up quickly.

“Damn sure did and I see you didn’t learn your lesson by way of what he went through. So let me personally teach you this shit. You see her behind me?” he asked, hoisting that man up like he was a Walmart grocery bag.

It took everything in me not to laugh.

“Mhmm.” Joseph couldn’t even find his words.

“She is off limits to you and your fucking son. If I see either one of y’all around her, I’ma personally pay for both of y’all to be buried in the same casket. You got that?”

“Mhmm,” he moaned, like a straight bitch.

“Nah, bitch, use your words,” Kinga demanded and I was soaked at the sight. Something about seeing him yoke Joseph up had me ready to go home… with him.

“I understand. We…won’t bother her anymore.”

Kinga then dropped Joseph and looked at me. “Now you heard him say that shit. If you see him or his pussy ass son again, I’m killing both of them. No more passes.”

I nodded, attempting to hide the amusement in my being. He looked so angry and I was thinking about something totally different.

Joseph scurried out and I licked my lips at the sight of the man before me. I wanted to do much more but had to remind myself I was indeed in my place of business. Kinga always made me feel protected, in and out of his presence.

“I’ma fuck around and put some security in here. Motherfuckers got too much access.”

I nodded, agreeing with him. “I see how I’m pregnant.”

“Oh yeah? How?”

“You just being you. You got this crazy way of making me feel so protected, so loved, that I know nothing will ever touch me…well, except you.”

He was all smiles and so was I.

We spent a while longer together before parting ways. He had to meet someone and I headed to the store to grab a few things for dinner, an easy pasta dish and rolls. I didn’t feel like going over the top, so this was it. By the time I left the grocery store, I was exhausted. But when I pulled up to my place, I spotted my mother’s truck in my driveway. I didn’t know she was coming out so early, but then again, my mother hated traffic. So of course she would leave early and get here earlier to avoid it altogether.

I pulled into my driveway and reached over to grab my bag. I was grateful I’d dropped the puppies off to the nanny before going to the store. The puppy nanny was a lifesaver because I needed a break most days and all I had to do was call her up or drop them off. She was worth every penny I paid.

I grabbed the bags I’d gotten from the grocery store and headed into the house, sure to lock my car behind me.

When I entered the house, I heard the sound of the TV in the distance. Not only had my mother come into the city early, she had made herself comfortable.

“Well hello to you too, mama dearest,” I said loud enough for her to hear.

“Oh baby, I thought you were working. I didn’t want to bother you,” she mused, rushing into the kitchen and helping me with the bags. “However, when I got here, I also noticed your space looked barely lived in and there were no dog cages.”

“Code for, you’ve been snooping around and found that I’m not here that often.”

She shrugged. “Same thing. Now where is my future son-in-law anyway?”

“Future son-in-law. That’s quick. You haven’t even met the man face to face.”

“Didn’t have to but of course I’m still going to meet him. What I’m saying is, you spend a lot of time with him and you seem different with him.”

I stopped and looked at her. “That’s because I am. He makes me reckless in a good way. A way where I’m not overthinking everything or feeling like I should be keeping my guard up. After everything with Zax, I had my guard up pretty high, trying to get over what he did as well as trying to not to be like that in anybody's eyes. That was my intention, then Kinga found his way into my life. I’m happy, Ma.”

“I know, and that makes me happy. I love you and your brother with everything in me, so the thought of either one of you being unhappy bothers me. But you’re happy and so am I.”

I smiled hard. “Thank you.”

“Now where are my grand puppies?”

“With the nanny. I’ll be picking them up in the morning. I’ve been tired lately and in need of some rest. After dinner tonight, I’m going to sleep and I don’t want to be up early. I’m glad after this litter I’ll have a little break. I don’t foresee myself going as heavy as I have been going for the last few months.”

“So… I was wondering… since you decided to keep Bleu and from the pictures you may be keeping that other one…. Can I have Tilly? She plays well with Judah since technically that’s her mother.”

“Ma.”

“Don’t Ma me. If I didn’t take them from you, I know your home would be filled with dogs. I know I’m not getting any two-legged grandkids any time soon so I have to make do with what I hav?—”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” I turned around quickly, realizing I had already said too much.

“Um, excuse me? Don’t turn your narrow ass around now. What does that mean? Wouldn’t be so sure about what?”

“Mama. Please. Nothing. I need to get dinner started.” I tried my best to get away from her but I had already messed up and I was no liar, so I wasn’t even good at it.

“Don’t Mama me, Harlem Ariel Bleu.”

I turned around and my eyes landed directly on her. “I am pregnant. So you will indeed get that grandchild you’ve been speaking into my uterus.”

She giggled. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not. I’m pregnant. Well, according to the test in my purse I am.”

She pulled me into a hug, holding me like I was gonna disappear . I wasn’t. If anything I had a better chance of expanding.