Page 21 of Annabel and Her Sisters

And then I had an out of body experience as I saw him smile broadly and listened to him propose that we meet there, at the church, at seven o’clock, and that he’d look forward to it.

Out of body because I wasn’t really listening.

Sorry, was this Annabel Appleton, widowed these past ten years, not even remotely interested in being anything other for the rest of my days, with two dates in one week ?

And was that even OK? I wondered anxiously as I beetled away, clutching to my chest a stolen prayer book. I had no idea how it worked these days.

And which one did I prefer? If I even had a choice?

I had no idea. I mean, I didn’t really know either of them, so how could I tell?

But that was the whole point of a date, wasn’t it?

To find out if you liked someone, whether you had a connection.

But two. I hurried home, analysing them.

Well, André was younger, and better looking, but possibly too young.

Too good-looking. He had the air of that young, naked– I gulped– Roman centurion Polly was sculpting, based on a sketch she’d done at the V&A.

Yes, André was definitely chiselled. Whereas Ralph wasn’t ostensibly so attractive– unless you were an elderly parishioner– until he smiled.

His hair was a bit thin and scraped back, but that smile lit up his whole face.

And he’d asked me. Whereas I’d sort of asked André.

Lordy, what had I been doing with my life up until now?

I felt alive. Vital. Energized. Well, I’d been grieving David, that’s what, I thought as I drained the peas now, to go with the toad in the hole.

His photo was on the dresser, as it was in most of the rooms in this house.

His gentle, quizzical smile. But there was something else about that smile.

Something that said: it’s fine. Go for it, Annie.

I walked back to the table where the children were already tucking in, knowing the full complement might be a while. Weirdly, Luke still had that glittery look in his eye as I sat down.

‘How’s everything?’ he asked. Pretty unusual. No children are interested in their parents’ lives.

I began to eat, looked casual. ‘Oh, you know, same old. Sorting your grandmother out, trying to finish my edit. How’s everything with you, Luke– how’s work?’ Excellent. Deflect.

‘No, I only ask because someone’s been asking about you.’

‘Really, who?’

‘Ralph, the vicar.’

I gasped as Polly suppressed a giggle. She was clearly in on this. ‘Asked me the other day about your– you know– status. I mean, he knows you’re widowed, obviously, but doesn’t know if you’re attached. This was at evensong.’

‘Yes, evensong, which we haven’t really discussed, have we? So lovely,’ I said breathlessly, for various reasons. ‘I didn’t know you were religious, Luke?’

He frowned. ‘Pejorative word, don’t you think?

All sorts of wars started over that. I prefer spiritual, and I’m not sure I’m that either, but I’ve discovered there’s not much I disagree with in there and that I like the cool, dark space to think.

And the singing. And I have my own reasons for going, for which, obviously, I claim the usual amendment.

But back to you, Mum. He clearly likes you. ’

‘Oh heavens, I’m sure he likes all sorts of people,’ I said, squirting far too much tomato ketchup on my peas.

‘I dunno. But I think he’s one of the good guys. Think you should take a second look.’

‘Actually, he’s already asked me out.’ That wiped the smiles off their faces. Oh, they thought they were so smart. They put their knives and forks down in unison. A collective sense of shock and disbelief took hold.

‘No!’

‘Why so staggered?’ I ate on, calmly.

‘Well, no reason,’ Polly spluttered. ‘But– great, Mum!’

‘And you’ve said yes? Where’s he taking you?’ Luke was gripped.

‘Ah. You see now I’m going to claim that very same amendment.’

They gazed at me a moment: then they grinned, and I could tell they were pleased.

And then, after another short pause, I sort of couldn’t resist divulging more.

‘Actually,’ I whispered– and I don’t know why, because he definitely wasn’t here, it was Sunday– ‘I’ve got a date with André as well.

’ I mean, I could hardly sneak around, could I?

With Polly living here. They both went bug-eyed at the magnitude of this revelation.

‘Shit, Mum. Fast work!’ Luke was awed.

‘Yes, but I sort of asked him ,’ I whispered, glancing anxiously about.

Polly shrugged. ‘So what? I sort of asked Max. Or manoeuvred him, anyway.’

‘Yes, but is that OK? Two dates in one week?’

‘Of course it is!’ Luke said. ‘God, I do it all the time.’

‘Yes, but you’re young.’

‘It’s fine as long as you don’t– you know.’ Polly eyed me meaningfully.

‘What?’

‘Well, you know.’

I gasped. Recoiled in horror. ‘Well, I’m hardly likely to do that!’

‘Well, eventually you will, obviously,’ she said pragmatically. ‘Just– I don’t know– keep it tame, to begin with.’

‘Of course I will, young lady!’ I fumed, reverting to my mother’s mode of speech. ‘I just meant– the general concept. It seems– I don’t know– deceitful. Should I tell them both?’

They stared at me in horror. ‘ God , no!’ they cried in unison.

Polly looked thoughtful. ‘My money’s on André,’ she said, narrowing her eyes. ‘I think he’s cute.’

‘Interesting.’ Luke regarded me contemplatively. ‘I’m thinking Ralph.’

‘Well, I’m quite sure it will be neither of them,’ I blustered. ‘I really can’t imagine why I’ve even entertained the idea in the first place!’

‘Whereas we can’t imagine why you’ve never entertained it before now,’ Luke told me, giving me one of his more serious looks.

For some reason that made me feel a bit better about the whole thing. Less fluttery. I got up and sailed across to the oven to rescue three baked potatoes. Too late. Black fumes wafted as I threw three lumps of charcoal in the sink.