Page 45 of Anchor
“Good—that’s good. I’m glad.”
“I don’t mean to overstep my bounds because I’m sure you’re overwhelmed as it is, but is he why you look so upset? Did he…do something?”
“No, no, of course not.” I put a reassuring hand on her arm. “He was, is, great. I promise.”
“Then what’s the problem?” she asks.
“I just—this will sound stupid,” I warn.
She laughs. “No judgment. I’m marrying a man who I’ve known less than a year who swept me off of my feet. If anyone will understand, it’s me.”
A knot loosens inside of me. I should have known I could confide in her. “Okay, well. I guess I want to see him again. Make sure he’s okay for myself. When I saw him last they were loading his unconscious body into an ambulance after they rescued us and that’s the image I have in my head of him, laying on the gurney looking like he died. He came to help me. I want to see him to make sure he’s okay for my peace of mind.”
She runs her fingers through my hair and for the first time since they rescued us from the water, I feel a sense of calm. “That makes total sense. He saved your life. I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you went over to visit him.”
“Yeah…”
“But,” she prompts.
“But maybe there might be some feelings in there somewhere.”
Sienna squeals, then calms herself down. “I’m sorry. I—well I know how upset you’ve been since Thomas broke things off.”
“Yeah, but,ugh, this is stupid. Tell me it’s stupid. I don’t want to make a fool out of myself if it’s just, like a situation crush or something.”
“Does it feel like a crush?” she asks.
“Not sure I trust my judgment right now.”
“Maybe you should go see him and see how you feel.”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe. Won’t that be weird? It would be horrible if he was all business-like. I’d feel stupid.”
“You’d be even more stupid if you do like this guy and you don’t go see him. Maybe he feels the same way.”
“He’s got enough on his plate without me bothering him.”
“If you say so, but I still think you should go see him.”
A nurse knocks on the door with a tray for breakfast and I’m thankful as Sienna changes the subject.
I endured the horrors of last night, but the thought of putting myself out there and then being rejected like I was with Thomas is almost too much to bear.
Gabriel
The room is quiet, too quiet.
It leaves me too much time to think. And my thoughts aren’t happy ones.
I couldn’t concentrate enough to watch any T.V. and none of the shows seemed interesting anyway. I wanted to ask Taylor to let Emily stay, but they were both exhausted and Emily needed to be somewhere familiar. There’s no use upsetting her more than she already is.
It’s been twenty-four hours since our rescue and I’ve thought of her at least a million times during every one. The doctors restricted me to the hospital bed for 48 hours of observation due to my injuries and the officers guarding my door won’t let anyone but vetted personnel and my family in.
In short, I’m slowly going crazy.
It’d be a different story if I had something to occupy my time other than quiet contemplation. I’d kill for a devastating hurricane or a capsized boat. Then I remember that I’m still recovering from the gunshots and my misery starts all over again. The only sleep I’ve gotten is medically induced and even then my nightmares wake me every couple hours.
This time, I didn’t let the nurses give me a sedative. If I’m not gonna sleep, I’d rather do it without the grogginess that accompanies the medicine.