Page 40 of Anatomy of Us

But doubt isn’t the same thing as truth.

And there’s something Nate doesn’t get. Something he can’t get because he’s never felt it. The way Zoe and I look at each other now, like nothing else exists. Back in college, it was heat. Now it’s turning into something steadier. Sharper. Stronger.

It isn’t nostalgia. It isn’t fear of being alone. It isn’t settling for familiar.

It’s love. The kind that hurts when it’s missing. The kind that rewires your life. The kind that makes you want to be better every day.

Nate wants to break me. Nate wants me to run again.

This time he doesn’t get that win.

“I talked to Nate,”I text.

The reply comes in two seconds.

Zoe: WHAT?

I smile. I can see her in my head. Wide eyes. Furrowed brow. Heart racing.

Me: I’ll tell you later. But I’m okay. He’s a fucking asshole. I’m not going anywhere.

The three dots appear. Disappear. Appear again.

Zoe: You sure?

Me: Sure.

Chapter 13

Zoe

At ten p.m., the doorbell rings.

I let out a long breath. Wesley just fell asleep. It took almost an hour. Restless for some reason I can't name. Rejecting the pacifier and the bottle. Not settling for the lullabies I usually sing. In the end he gave in from pure exhaustion, his brow still pinched even in sleep. The last thing I need is him waking up now.

“I can't stay in my apartment,” Tessa says by way of greeting the second I crack the door. “I need to see you.”

I'm so stunned she shows up without warning that I don't even know what to say. I just step aside and let her in.

The living room sits in shadow. Only the corner lamp is on, the one I use when Wesley sleeps because the overhead light is too harsh. Tessa stands by the window and watches the rain stripe down the glass.

“Do you want a glass of wine?” I whisper. “I opened a bottle with dinner.”

When I come back with two glasses, she hasn't moved. Not a good sign.

“Tell me,” I exhale, dropping onto the couch and patting the cushion beside me. “Sit.”

“You know what happened.”

“I know you talked to Nate. I know he said things. Probably horrible things, because that's who he is.” I take a sip. The wine tastes sharp. “But I don't know what he said. Not exactly. And I think I need to.”

Silence.

“He asked if you love me,” she admits, finally, “or if you just don't want to be alone.”

“Jesus, Tessa...”

“He said you used him as a consolation prize. The replacement after I broke you.” Her voice tightens. “He said you never loved him. That on your honeymoon you were watching a German league match on TV, one my team played in, and the first thing you did was grab your phone to see if I posted something.”