Page 11 of An Offer of Marriage (Engaged to Mr Darcy #7)
A MORNING IN VIEW OF THE WAREHOUSES
J ane and Elizabeth spent much of the night in conversation.
Elizabeth arriving on the doorstep of the Gardiners’ home, unanticipated and in the company of a bruised and broken Mr Darcy was sure to arouse much curiosity and so it had.
The facts of the matter had all been related in the presence of their aunt and uncle, but the feelings aroused by it all were discussed only between the sisters.
“Does Mama know?” Jane asked.
“No! This has all transpired within the last day,” Elizabeth explained. “If things happen as I plan, then would to God, she should never know. Can you imagine her knowing I rejected a man worth ten thousand a year?”
Both sisters had a giggle at that.
“But Lizzy, are you sure you wish to refuse him?”
“Of course I do.”
Jane was silent in the dark of the bedchamber.
“Jane? ”
“I am only wondering why you have not already done so,” she said. “It seems to me there were times you might have.”
With a sigh, Elizabeth explained why every time she had thought to do it, something prevented her.
“Perhaps you ought to look at that as Providence,” Jane said lightly. “Perhaps this is all meant to be.”
“Providence must wish to punish me for something, then,” said Elizabeth with a laugh. “To attach me to such a man!”
“You seemed to like him well enough this afternoon,” Jane observed. “Perhaps your opinion of him is changing?”
To that Elizabeth offered an immediate denial.
Then she considered it a moment. Yes, it did seem Mr Darcy was a different man than she had truly known, but there were things, real obstacles to imagining herself attached to him.
Alas, she was obliged to explain to Jane the chief of those obstacles.
She tried to prevaricate, but Jane would not have it.
“It shows an affection for his friend that is pleasing,” was all she would say. “Loyalty can never be a bad quality.”
“I am sorry I told you,” Elizabeth said. “It can do you no good.”
“You did no more than to confirm what I already suspected,” Jane told her. “Perhaps it will be for the best. I know all now. I can heal from this better, I think.”
Elizabeth hoped it would prove true.
When leaving the day prior, Mr Darcy had indicated he would call the next morning and so he did.
Elizabeth and Jane were sitting with their aunt in the drawing room, having just bid farewell to Maria, who had already been collected by her eldest brother.
Jane was sewing more slowly than Elizabeth had ever seen any person sew, often pausing to stare disinterestedly out the window nearest her.
Elizabeth knew she must be thinking of Mr Bingley and regretted, again, that her words had bestirred Jane’s melancholy.
Jane rose to greet Mr Darcy civilly but then disappeared from the room without further discourse as he took a seat beside Elizabeth.
Mrs Gardiner shot an apologetic smile to both Mr Darcy and Elizabeth, then excused herself to attend to her niece, saying she would leave the door open and that the maids were about.
When they were alone, Mr Darcy turned to Elizabeth at once. “Your sister…is she well? She seems to be in some distress.”
Elizabeth pursed her lips, deciding what to tell him. “In fact, no, she is not well. She is suffering…heartbreak.”
Mr Darcy merely looked at her which caused her to look down, wishing to avoid him. Very quietly she said, “She is still suffering the pain of your friend’s abandonment.”
There was a short pause and then he said, “Bingley?”
With the merest tinge of reproach, she said, “She was quite in love with him. My sister does not easily give her heart, but when she does…”
After a hard swallow, she added, “I understand you played a principal role in persuading him against her. The colonel informed me in Kent that you had recently saved your friend from a most imprudent attachment. He did not know he spoke of my sister, of course, but I knew it was.”
Mr Darcy said nothing for several long seconds. “From what I could see, her heart was not easily touched.”
“That is true; in general Jane does not fall in love easily, but she was in love with Mr Bingley. I think we both know, however, that her affection was not your sole objection. ”
“It is not a prudent match for him,” Mr Darcy said. “But I should not have stood in his way if I believed she liked him as much as he liked her. As it was, she appeared to me to be merely tolerating him.”
“Tolerating him!”
“Yes. And I feared that she would accept him for his wealth and make him miserable.”
“Jane would never do any such thing. Though their acquaintance was short, she was very attached; she is only very reserved, so unless someone knows her well, they could not detect her feelings.” With a sidelong look, Elizabeth added, “Even I, who have known her all my life, cannot always tell what she is thinking. I am surprised you thought you could manage it, upon so brief an acquaintance.”
Surprisingly, this provoked a laugh from him. “When you put it that way, it does seem rather foolish.”
“I was thinking presumptuous, but foolish will do.”
“I will speak to him,” said Mr Darcy. “As soon as may be.”
This was not what she had expected, and she shifted to look at him, amazed. “Speak to him?”
“Yes. Tell him I was wrong. I am sorry to know she has suffered these many months. I do not suppose it is any comfort to know that Bingley suffered with her?”
“Perhaps just a little,” she said. “But if you tell him that she is in love with him…will you also encourage him to renew his attentions to her?”
Mr Darcy pondered that. “I daresay what he does with the information is up to him. Clearly I ought not to be meddling in people’s romantic affairs.”
Elizabeth laughed lightly, hoping he meant it in a glad-hearted way. He smiled along with her .
“It pains me to know that they both suffered and that the despair was of my making. The way he looked when I said…” Mr Darcy frowned at his feet. “When I told him I did not believe she had an affection for him. My words wounded him deeply.”
Hardly knowing what she did, Elizabeth rested her hand on his, squeezing lightly. “You believed you were speaking to his own interests. Your motive was not cruel, nor was it selfish.”
He turned his hand to clasp with hers, and looked at her very earnestly. “I cannot promise you that I will never blunder. Indeed, I feel sometimes as if all the world’s a mystery, and me its hapless fool. But I do promise that when I err, I shall be quick to own it and eager to make amends for it.”
“Thank you. Jane will…that will make her very happy,” Elizabeth replied, still astounded by the diffidence and humility with which he spoke. The idea that she had grossly misjudged him, gravely misunderstood him, poked at her.
The opportunity was before her then; they were alone and although the door was ajar, Elizabeth expected that her aunt had gone to the children, likely with Jane too. She had all the privacy she needed to tell him that she had not ever accepted him and that she had no wish to marry him.
And yet, beholding him, as he was now, the man she had come to know a little better this past day or so…she found she did not precisely wish to refuse him. He was rather…likeable at present. Perhaps even lovable?
But you must end this engagement , she told herself. The hour is upon you.
“Elizabeth?” Mr Darcy inched slightly closer to her on the settee. “I wonder if I might, um…”
His eyes fixed on hers, and she was entranced by the appearance of a light flush on his face. Then, while she was still considering the meaning of that, he kissed her.
At first it was the merest, lightest touch of his lips on hers.
Then he drew back, his eyes seeming to question her and evidently finding agreement, for he leant in again, kissing her with an ardency that could not be misunderstood.
It took her breath away even as she was shocked to find herself responding in kind, placing her hand on his cravat, even tilting her head to permit him to kiss her neck.
When he pulled away, he ran two fingers down her jaw and beneath her ear, touching the very spots he had just kissed. “So soft,” he murmured. “So sweet. My darling, you have no idea how I bless the day I entered Hertfordshire and found you.”
He rose, and extended his hand to her. “Come. I promised you a walk and a walk we should have, lest I lead us into greater trouble.”
“But your injuries…are you well enough?” she enquired as she rose.
He smiled at her. “Am I injured? I feel right now like I could fly if I wished to.”