Page 49

S arah retired to her room after Madeleine left and indulged in a hearty bout of tears, after which she felt so exhausted she fell asleep and did not wake until it was dark.

Not feeling up to facing company, she rang for a bath, changed into a robe and ordered a tray for her room, not that she was very hungry.

The pain in her heart made it hard to breathe, let alone eat.

She spent the evening desultorily reading and staring into the fire, trying to fathom what to do.

Her instinct was to go home, back to the comfort of her family where she knew she was loved and cared for.

Where she could be herself. She had assumed the mantle of a duchess, but she didn’t feel her title in her bones the way the dowager did and the way Robert did.

He was the duke as much as he was the man, Robert Layne.

She didn’t feel like a duchess or a Layne, yet she was no longer just a Watson either.

She wiped a tear off her cheek. Neither fish nor fowl. Where did she belong?

And now this baby. It must have been conceived before Robert approached her at Almack’s, she thought, but how much before?

Did he still love Madeleine? She was a beautiful woman, older than Sarah, she thought, and still stunning.

It was obvious that Madeleine loved him.

How long had they been together? Daphne had implied it was quite a while.

Her head ached almost as much as her heart.

She nodded over her book and dragged herself off to bed, tossing and turning until the small hours, finally falling into an exhausted sleep and not waking fully until close to midday.

After a wash and another tray in her room, she realized she couldn’t stay penned up all day and decided to go for a walk to clear her head. It wouldn’t help the state of her heart, but at least it might make her feel a little more like engaging with the world.

She feared Papa would be disappointed with her, giving in to such melancholy.

She knew the antidote was hard work, but as the duchess she had none.

The hardest things she had to do were order the meals and see that the household ran smoothly, and she had no doubt that while she was malingering in her room like this, the dowager had resumed those duties.

So, there was no real need for her to do anything if she didn’t choose to.

Which was so depressing she almost crawled back into bed.

Straightening her shoulders, she bade Esme a good afternoon and went downstairs where she collected her bonnet and cloak, and with a nod to Jardin, who held the door for her, she set off in the direction of the ruins she had heard so much about.

The scatter of stones and remnants of an old tower and staircase were all that remained. She tromped about miserably, staring at the ground. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t realize she wasn’t alone until a voice hailed her.

“Your Grace.”

She started and looked up and around, her eyes widening in shock. Lannister.

The Earl of Lannister stood several feet away, removing his hat and bowing to her. He was dressed for riding, and in fact she now saw his horse tethered a little way off beneath a tree.

Oh, gosh, if Robert got wind of him being here... “My lord, what are you doing here?”

“I confess, looking for you,” he said with a smile, stepping closer to her.

“You must leave at once!” she said stepping back. “If the duke knew you were here—”

“He won’t if you don’t tell him,” he said, stepping closer.

The tower was behind her and the ground uneven beneath her feet.

“My lord, you must leave now!” she insisted, looking around. There was no one in sight, but that didn’t mean there wouldn’t be at any moment.

“Please, Sarah, I just wanted to speak with you, nothing more. I’ve ridden all the way from London. Will you turn me away without a word?”

She swallowed her heart thumping in panic. He has come from London where Robert is. Did they speak, fight?

“Is Robert hurt?” she blurted her terror.

“No, I don’t believe so. Why?”

“You haven’t seen him?”

“No, I haven’t.” He looked down at his booted foot set on a rock, and then back up at her.

“I had not expected to be so fortunate in running across you out here. I had thought I would be forced to some form of subterfuge to attempt to speak with you. I know I am not welcome in the house. The duke made that clear in our last conversation.”

“Indeed, it is not safe for you to be here. You should leave.”

“I will, but not because I am afraid. I came to speak with you on this matter of a falling out between the duke and Ashford.”

“You know about that?” she said, aghast.

“My dear woman, it’s all over London. And that you are the cause of it. It was that circumstance that prompted me to come.”

“Why?” she clutched her hands together in distress . This is dreadful!

“I wanted to know if you needed rescuing.”

“What?” she said faintly.

“I promised you I would come if you needed me, remember? It occurred to me that in the circumstances you might not be able to send me word.”

She blinked at him, bereft of speech.

“At the risk of appearing a lurker, I watched you for some time, Sarah, tromping about. It would be obvious to the meanest intelligence that you are unhappy. I need to tell you also that I met Madeleine on the way here. She told me she’d had speech with you.”

Sarah reeled. She put out a hand to steady herself as the earth seemed to move under her feet. He stepped forward hurriedly to clasp her arm. “My dear, are you all right? You’ve gone horribly pale!”

She clutched at his arm. She shook her head to clear it. “Yes, yes I am. Thank you.”

“Please come and sit down on this rock,” he said coaxingly.

“I don’t want you to fall and hurt yourself.

” His words of concern, the warmth in his eyes, threatened to undo her.

She felt raw and wretched inside, beaten down by shock after shock.

His care was a balm that she must not accept. For his sake as well as her own.

She shook her head, “None of this is your concern, my lord. Please leave.”

“How can I, when I know you must be in so much pain?” He caught her hand and held it tightly.

She looked away, sympathy at this point would make her cry, and she had to get him to leave for his own sake. But he was still speaking.

“Your husband, my dear, is an ass.”

She stiffened, her hackles rising instinctively in Robert’s defense, and tried to pull her hand away, but he held it fast. “I will not stand here and listen to you denigrate him. I am aware that the two of you do not see eye to eye.”

“That, my dear, is putting it mildly.” He raised his other hand to her face. “How your dolt of a husband could fail to appreciate what a warm, vital, loving creature you are, with such a soft heart and caring nature, I cannot fathom. He doesn’t deserve you, and so I told him.”

Warm, vital, loving creature... She recalled Robert repeating those words. He didn’t claim them himself, but that someone else had said them.

“It was you!” she whispered. “Those are your words?”

His stormy blue eyes connected with hers. “Yes, why?”

“I cannot tell you that, my lord.” Her heart raced. This man loved her, she could see it in his eyes. She closed her own. “I am a married woman. For the last time, please leave.”

“Lannister! Unhand my wife!” Robert’s bellow caused them to spring apart guiltily. The earl moved in front of her as if to protect her from Robert’s obvious wrath. God in heaven, if he hit Emrys just for hugging me, what will do to the earl?

Robert covered the ground between them at a rapid pace. He must have only just arrived home and come in search of her immediately. Her heart thudded painfully. What did he know? Had Jardin told him of Madeleine’s visit?

*

Robert reached them, his heart fairly jumping out of his chest, his breathing so accelerated he was almost panting. He made a grab for Lannister’s lapel, his vision red and narrowing.

“You cur!”

“Robert, don’t!” Sarah’s obvious alarm only fueled his anger.

“Sarah, you should go back to the house! This doesn’t concern you!”

“I won’t, and it does!” she said defiantly. “Let him go! He’s done nothing wrong!”

“That is where you are mistaken, Sarah.” He transferred his attention back to Lannister, who had made no attempt to remove himself from Robert’s grip.

In fact, he was standing remarkably passively, his hand at his sides, though they were clenching into fists.

“He has done a great deal that is wrong!” With an effort, Robert let go of Lannister’s lapel and stepped back. “But he may not be aware of it.”

Robert scanned Lannister’s face. The man’s expression was closed, but there was fury in his eyes.

He would like to hit Robert as much as Robert wanted to hit him.

He could see it was Sarah’s presence that restrained Lannister, and Robert had no intention of letting fly in front of her ever again.

Already he was regaining control over his initial fury at the sight of the man.

“I saw Madeleine in London,” he said steadily, aware of Sarah’s shocked, indrawn breath. “I’m aware that she was here, Sarah, and what she told you. It was all lies.”

“What?” Sarah’s voice came out a hoarse whisper.

“She is not with child?” asked Lannister quickly.

“She is, but the child is not mine,” Robert watched Lannister’s face as his eyes widened and his color leached away.

Robert nodded. “Yes, it’s yours. I absolve you of trying to foist your child off onto me. I believed her when she said she’d deceived you, too. You needn’t concern yourself with her welfare. I’ll make sure she doesn’t suffer.” The dripping contempt in Robert’s voice made Lannister’s eyes flash.

“Damn you to hell, Layne! What kind of a worm do you think I am? Don’t answer that, it’s obvious.” Lannister seemed to gather himself. “If the child is mine, of course I’ll take responsibility for it!”

The duke raised an eyebrow. “See that you do. I’ll be checking. Sarah, please stay here a moment.” He grabbed Lannister’s arm and tugged him a distance off out of Sarah’s direct hearing, although she could still see them. Fortunately, she didn’t follow them.

“Do you recall what I said I would do to you if you went near my wife again?” he said, keeping his voice low.

“Attempt to put a bullet through me, I believe? To which I responded that you were welcome to try.” Lannister had the audacity to grin, seeming to recover his sangfroid with remarkable rapidity.

He eyed Robert’s fist and said, “Are you proposing to give me a blackened eye like you gave Ashford? You’ll be getting a reputation. ”

“If Sarah weren’t here, I would.” Robert swallowed, trying to rein in his emotions. “What are you doing here?”

“Seeing if your wife was all right,” said Lannister roughly.

“What damned business is it of yours?”

“None, yet I was concerned when I heard that you’d knocked Ashford’s daylights out over Sarah. And then when I met Madeleine on the road, I was doubly concerned.”

“You thought to capitalize on the situation?”

Lannister turned away from him in disgust. “To what end?”

“Why did you give Sarah your card if you didn’t mean to make mischief between us? Admit it, you still have designs on her. Was her fortune too tempting to give up?”

“For fuck’s sake, no! I was motivated, believe it or not, by pure concern for her. Nothing else!”

“By God, you love her,” whispered Robert, staring at him dumbfounded.

“I said as much the last time we spoke, but I don’t think you were listening.” Lannister looked away, pointedly not at Sarah, although Robert was sure the other man was as aware of her presence as he was himself.

“She knows how you feel?”

“She does. And she told me to leave.”

“My God.” Robert squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed hard. The pain in his chest was making it hard to breathe.

Lannister seemed to get himself under control again and went on. “There really is no need for any of this, you know. Your wife loves you. You’re just too thick headed to see it.”

Robert scrubbed his face, staring at the tumbled-down rocks around them. “I’ve castigated myself for being all kinds of an idiot from here to kingdom come, but I think you’ve just crowned it.”

“Having an epiphany, are you?” Lannister smiled at him derisively. “Good.” Lannister shoved his hands in his pockets. “The field is yours, Your Grace. Don’t fuck it up. Or I’ll put a fucking bullet in you !”

“Noble of you.”

“Yes, it’s very unlike me, but then Sarah”—at a glare from Robert, he amended—“the Duchess of Troubridge is a unique woman.”

Robert nodded and said softly, “Yes, she is.”

“Will you allow me to take my leave of her?”

Robert nodded and watched Lannister tread over to her and bow.

*

“I know you’re determined to have none of my help,” said Lannister ruefully. “And I hope that leaving you with your husband is not a mistake.”

She clasped her hands and said quietly, “I thank you for your concern. It—it is unfounded, however. Whatever you may think of my husband, I do not share your view.”

He watched her for a moment or two, then he inclined his head and bowed. “Your sentiments do you great credit, Your Grace. You are a lady to your fingertips. I will of course respect your wishes, but please do know that I am always yours to command, should you ever have need of me.”

She nodded, wholly unable to respond to that. He then turned and walked over to his horse. She watched as he mounted, waved his hat to them, and set off across the fields toward the road.

Robert had returned to her side, and they stood watching him leave. There was so much unsaid between them, she didn’t know where to start.