Page 46 of An Imperfect Scoundrel

“It’s almost morning, and I rarely sleep,” he replied without lifting his head.

“That’s a pity.” Crawling toward the pillow, she dragged the other with her and nestled down on the soft mattress, a sigh escaping her mouth. Just as she was drifting off, another question floated over.

“Did you love your wife, Dubois?”

“Every moment I was with her.” A sharp pang stabbed through her chest as she thought of the short time she’d had with Sebastian. Swiping at the tear rolling down her cheek, she flipped onto her side, and propped herself up on her elbow, leaning her head on her hand.

“Were you ever in love, Captain Shaw?”

“It’s difficult to do in my profession.”

The quill scratched across the parchment.

“That isn’t what I asked.”

“No.” He dipped the quill back into the inkwell and tapped off the excess ink.

“Don’t you get lonely?”

Hand hovering over the paper, he lifted his head, his gaze finding her.

“Husbands are not meant for this life.”

“And you are?” Silence met her question, so she flipped onto her back and closed her eyes. “Would you not prefer your distillery to sword fights?”

The chair scraped on the floor, and a moment later, the mattress dipped. Alana’s eyes flew open. Captain Shaw stared down at her, his stone face devoid of emotion.

“Do not presume to know my mind.”

She folded her arms behind her head, returning his glare. “Is my assessment of your character incorrect?”

“Why are you going to America?” he asked, ignoring her question.

“To find a spouse.”

“You could do that in England.”

Alana sighed. “It was decided that I should travel to America to complete this task.”

“It was decided?” Both of Captain Shaw’s eyebrows rose. “Who decided this?”

“My brother. He thought I would be safer on a ship while he and my cousins attempted to capture the man who murdered our uncle.”

“He got that wrong.”

“I shall let him know.”

Captain Shaw chuckled and stood, then returned to his desk.

“How did your wife die? Was it childbirth?”

“No, we were never blessed with children.” A lump formed in Alana’s throat, more tears leaking out from behind her closed eyelids. “It was sudden. One moment she was healthy, and the next, she was bedridden. She went so quickly.”

Flipping over onto her side, Alana buried her face in the corner of the pillow, her body shaking as she silently sobbed.

Nothing could be done to save Sebastian.

After she’d cried herself dry and wiped her face with her shirt, Captain Shaw spoke again, his voice holding none of the gruffness she’d come to expect from him.