Page 17

Chapter 17

Ranen

I smile as I step out of the room and see North in my kitchen. He looks at home, like he belongs here… with me.

It’s an absurd thought, wanting a man I barely know to be a fixture in my life.

Oh, who am I kidding? I know North. I may not know everything there is to know about him, but I know him. With every day that passes, I learn more. My favorite thing is how he loves his family. He doesn’t talk much about Wylder, other than to say they’re not really close, but I can tell he loves him. Just as he loves Atlas. Their bond, their relationship, is adorable.

Another favorite? His joy for cooking. I really love his cooking. A lot. He’s like my own personal chef and seems to get a kick out of watching me eat. Every time I take a bite of the food he cooks, a small half smile tips up his lips.

North is quiet, not because he has nothing to say, but because he doesn’t speak out of turn. He weighs each word carefully and says what he means. That wasn’t so much the case last week when we had dinner, but I think he was as nervous as I was for our first date.

It was nice being out with North, having dinner and enjoying his company. I know he saw how nervous I was to ask him to cam with me again, but he didn’t shame me or pressure me about it. My next show is the day after tomorrow and I’m hoping he’ll join me. The shows I had this week were solo sessions, with North watching on as I played with myself and came like a geyser. My viewership was up from last week by a lot and my normal subs asked when my mystery man was coming back.

I’ll broach it today, but first, I wanna get out of the house. Other than our date, we’ve just been in my apartment, hanging out. The fall season is upon us and it’s the perfect time to take a walk in the crisp air.

I walk into the kitchen and wrap my arms around North from behind. Closing my eyes, I smile and breathe him in. God, he smells so good. Masculine and a little… dangerous. I can’t explain it. Something about his scent sets my pulse racing in a good way, but one that also makes me wary. Not wary enough to have him out of my life, though. That will never happen.

North is mine like I’m his.

The rumble of his chuckle flows through me, and my smile widens. “Good morning, Ranen.”

“Morning.”

“Breakfast will be ready soon.”

“’Kay.” My voice is muffled against his back.

He laughs again and rests one hand over mine. “You’ll have to let me go so I can take the pan from the stove.”

“Don’t wanna.”

North turns around in my arms, then lifts my face up to his. He kisses me so sweetly that my toes curl, the honeyed brush of his lips making me melt into him. When he pulls away, a dopey smile crops up on my lips. “What was that for?” I ask.

“I wanted to taste your mouth.” He dips back inside for another taste and I don’t stop him. In fact, I try to pull him in for more, but North drags his mouth away. “Sit. I’ll bring you food.”

Almost in a daze from how perfect his mouth always feels on mine, I sit down at the table, waiting for North to bring me breakfast.

He sets the plate in front of me and I growl when he forks some of my eggs into his mouth. He laughs as he walks back to the stove to fix himself a plate.

We sit in silence for a few minutes, the only sounds filling the room are our knives and forks against our plates.

I look up at him, still feeling a possessive, needy feeling towards him. It’s like I can’t see myself without him anymore. I’m not sure what I’ll do when he deems me safe and leaves. Maybe beg him not to? Beg him to be with me, even though I don’t really have much to offer a man like him? Cry myself to sleep when he laughs in my face and takes his many bags and leaves anyway?

“You’re thinking too hard,” he says and I grin. He really knows me well.

Bypassing what he said so he doesn’t know how desperate I am for him, I ask, “Do you want to go for a walk with me?” I point out the window across the street to the bustling park. “There are a few trails that are usually pretty empty. We’ve been cooped up inside for a while.”

North looks out the window at the park, a soft smile on his face. “Yeah. That sounds like fun.”

“Okay,” I say brightly. Any time I can spend with North is a great time to me. “I’ll get changed and we can head out.” North always puts on clothes when we get out of the shower, while I put on pajamas since we don’t ever leave the house.

I finish eating and give him a quick kiss before going to my room to put on an undershirt, a light sweater, and joggers. I make sure to put on one of the blue sweaters my grandpa gave me, since he told me before that he likes how the color looks on me.

Just before I step out of the room, my phone dings on my dresser. I grab it, kicking myself for almost leaving it. When I look down at my screen, the perma smile that’s been etched on my face drops as I see the message. It’s from my cam-site email. I can only see the first two sentences and I’m afraid to open it to read the rest.

IF I CATCH YOU DOING ANOTHER SHOW WITH THAT DOUCHEBAG, I WILL FUCKING GUT YOU, YOU FUCKING WHORE! I WILL…

The rest of the message is cut off by the notification window and I’m glad. I can’t read any more. A few messages popped up last week when I was camming alone, but North wouldn’t let me see. It was for the best, really, but I don’t like being in the dark.

At least I didn’t think I liked it. Now, I wish I hadn’t seen this message.

A hand landing on my shoulder has me jumping a foot in the air and covering my face with my hands to ward off a blow.

“Hey, hey,” North’s soothing voice says, and I let out a frightened breath. “What happened? What’s wrong?”

My hand shakes when I pass him my phone. He gazes at me for a few seconds, then takes it. A thunderous look crosses his face when he sees the notification.

“Ranen, I’m sorry. I’ve been blocking his messages.” North really does sound apologetic, but it’s not up to him to be sorry. Whoever is sending me these messages and fucking up my mental well-being should be fucking sorry. “Come here.”

I don’t realize I’m trembling until North pulls me against his body. He holds me tight, soothing me in a way I didn’t think possible. His strong hand runs through my hair, dragging his fingers along my scalp. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’ll make this right. I promise.”

My eyes well with tears. I can barely see him when I look up at him. “How? How can anyone make it right?”

“I never make promises I can’t keep, Ranen. I promise I’ll make it right. I’ll keep you safe. Don’t ever doubt that.”

Sighing, I put my head back on his chest. “I don’t. Thank you, North. You’re the best thing to come out of this whole mess.”

He kisses my forehead again. “You still wanna go for that walk?”

“Yes. I still want to get out of the house. Now more than before. I need some fresh air.”

Hand in hand, we leave the house, my phone forgotten on the bed. I don’t want any more reminders of my fucking stalker.

The park isn’t overly crowded, just a good mix of people walking the trails and sitting on the grass, eating, reading, or enjoying each other’s company. Seeing people living, not in fear but with joy, brings me out of my head a little.

The same questions I’ve had since all this started keep running through my head: Who is after me? Why are they after me? How do I stop them?

North taps me on my temple, startling me. “Get out of your head, Ranen.” I squeeze his hand tighter and nod.

“I just don’t know what they want,” I whisper.

“You,” he says back simply. I look at him sharply, my heart thundering. “I don’t tell you that to scare you. I’m telling you because I want you to know that he won’t fucking get you. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

He stops us in the middle of the path we’re walking on, causing other people to run or walk around us. I’m sure they give us dirty looks, but I only have eyes for North, and he for me.

His warm hands frame my face, his thumb wiping the stray tear that leaks from my right eye. “You’re mine, Ranen. I’ll fucking kill anyone who tries to take you away from me, do you understand?” I nod, hanging on to his every word. “Nothing and no one will hurt you while I’m around… and I don’t plan on going anywhere. He may want you, but he can’t fucking have you. You’re mine .”

Then North plants a hard kiss on my lips, pulling my body flush against his as he ravages my mouth. I’m powerless to stop him, trying my best to keep up with his claiming kiss.

This is what I wanted—what I needed —from North. I needed him to show me I was his. Really his. Not just for the time being, until I’m no longer in danger, but forever.

I’m not sure how serious North was when he said he’d kill for me, but some part of me believes that if it came down to it, he would. That sense and smell of danger that clings to his skin came out in full force and I’m fucking drawn to it.

“Out of the way,” someone says as they walk past.

North snatches his mouth from mine and fucking growls at the man. The guy’s eyes widen and he scurries away, the fear palpable even across the distance.

I can’t help it. I laugh. A deep belly laugh, but one that I needed. Threading our fingers together, I tug on North’s hand. “Come on. Let’s make a lap around here and we can go back inside, though it feels too good not being cooped up.”

He nods, throwing an arm around my shoulders. “How about we go for a walk after breakfast every morning? We can get some fresh air and I can work off all this food I’m cooking.”

I laugh as I tuck myself into his side. “You don’t cook breakfast for yourself every morning?”

“No. A few times a week if I have time, maybe. I only cook so much to make sure you eat.”

You take such good care of me. I don’t speak the words out loud, because I’ve been saying them over and over for weeks, but they’re as true now as the first time I said them.

“I see you doing push-ups and sit-ups every morning. You work it off yourself. You look great.”

“You do too.” He smiles at me when my cheeks heat.

Blowing out a long breath, I push the words out that are stuck in my throat before I lose my nerve. “You want to join me for my session this week? I’ve gotten requests from new viewers and old. I could… take a few weeks off if I have another session like our first one.”

I look up at North and gasp when I see the lust brimming behind those aquamarine eyes. Heat blooms over my body, setting me on fire in a way that only North can do. “I’d love to. Want to go back to your place and practice?”

A high giggle leaves my throat and I know my face is beet fucking red. A day will come when I’m not so shy and embarrassed around him. Today is not that day.

We get back to my building and North walks behind me, slapping my ass when I get a few steps above him. I giggle again, turning to chide him, but I see the change on his face, from playful to almost irate. I turn just in time to see Mr. Barlowe with a box in his hands, hastily putting it by my door.

“The fuck are you doing?” North asks, putting me behind him when we reach the landing.

Mr. Barlowe holds up his hands and steps back. “I found it. I was just… looking. It’s been sitting here for an hour.” His brown eyes lock on me, sizing me up behind North. There’s something familiar about them, but I can’t place it.

“Get the fuck out of here before I toss you down the fucking stairs,” North snarls in a voice so filled with rage I tremble. Holy fuck, it’s hot to see him like this.

I knew he was protective of me, but I didn’t think he would show me like this . Even though I’m frightened of his tone, of what the fuck Mr. Barlowe is doing up here and what’s in the box, my dick chubs up against the back of North’s thigh.

Mr. Barlowe moves around us, pressing his back to the wall, and darts down the stairs without another word or a backward glance. North watches him leave until he’s out of sight. Only then does he turn to me, his face morphing from anger to gentleness when his gaze lands on mine. “You okay?”

I try to hold it back, but the smile breaks through my fear. “Yeah. Wow, that was… impressive.”

His lips twitch, but he continues to search my face to make sure I’m telling him the truth. “Let’s get you inside.”

Hesitantly, I reach down and pick up the box. I want to toss it away, to leave it here and let my neighbors grab it, or fucking burn it, but whatever it is, I have to face it.

The white box is wrapped like a gift, with a big red bow tied on top of it. It would be a handsome present if it didn’t feel so sinister.

“Maybe I should—”

“No,” I tell North. “I have to do this.” I look back at him, squaring my shoulders. “I have to get to the bottom of this.”

He sighs as if he wants to tell me to cut the shit and let him open the present, but he simply nods and directs me over to the counter so I can set it down.

My hands tremble as I pull the bow off the gift. I know it can’t be anything good, but I have no other option. I need to know what this spineless dick who keeps threatening me wants.

Opening the box, I find a ring box nestled against packing peanuts. I pop it open, afraid of what I’ll find, but it’s only a ring—a beautiful ring. But it’s also ominous, like it’ll hurt me if I touch it. So I snap the box shut and put it down. A piece of paper sticks up from the packing peanuts. I fish it out and open it, looking at the scratchy handwriting.

“What does it say?” North asks over my shoulder.

I read it aloud:

Dear Pooh Bear,

I wish we could be together. I wish I could slide that ring on your finger now, but there’s an obstacle in my way. The man who was on that video with you. I wanted to gut you both, to carve out all the areas he touched you so you’d be reborn. So you wouldn’t be tainted with the caress of a man who isn’t worthy of you.

I’ve given you enough warnings about him. No more, and I won’t have to punish you for it. I’ll be coming for you soon, and we can be together forever. I love you, Pooh Bear. We were made for each other. You’ll see.

Get rid of him or you’ll regret it. I’ll send you his head next time I see him touching you.

I love you so much.

Your admirer

Tears prick my eyes—not tears of fear, but tears of anger. Who the fuck does this guy think he is? He thinks he can dictate my life? He’s already made me fear being in my home alone, now he’s trying to take North away from me? I won’t fucking allow it.

Fury rolls through me as I turn to North. “I’m done. I’m fucking done. I want this guy gone from my life. He won’t take you away from me. He can’t fucking have you!” I don’t realize I’m shouting until my voice trembles from the force of it.

North looks down at me with an approving gaze. “He won’t. Nothing will keep me from you.”

“We need him gone, North.” Something nags at the back of my brain. It takes a few moments for me to realize what it is, but when I do, I gasp. “We can use my camming. He doesn’t like seeing us together. He’ll be more inclined to come out of hiding if we’re doing shows together.”

A proud smile stretches North’s face. “That’s smart. What do you have planned?”

“Planned? For you to fuck me senseless and show the world, to show this fucking admirer I don’t belong to anyone but you.”