Page 65 of All the Things We Buried

What did I do wrong?

Did I push her too hard? Did I not pull her close enough?

I felt empty.

The bitch left me.

She left me.

How dare she?

Of course, she left a bitter taste. Of course, she made everything worse. I was crumbling. My chest felt like it was caving in. All I could hear were the voices in my head, chanting the same word over and over.

Cut.

Cut.

Cut.

Then her voice came to me, barely a whisper, like it lived in my bones.

She was the only one I opened my heart to. The only one I ever truly felt anything for. My first real love. Everyone before her was a passing shadow. But she... she was my entire world. She was the one I waited for, the one I wanted to change for.

And I let her in.

I let her break down the walls I built after too many nights left bleeding inside.

She made me speak when I wanted silence. She stirred things I buried years ago. She made something inside me bloom, wild and dangerous and real.

I stood up and punched the table.

I killed for her.

Fuck, I would’ve died for her.

I wanted everything with her. A house. A family. A future.

But that was the problem.

I wanted.

I hoped.

And dreams, they’re nothing but illusions of what could be.

Reality is always different.

So this time, I chose to bury something else.

Not just the memories.

But my feelings.

And anyone who came with them.

TWENTY

LENORE