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CHAPTER SIXTEEN

N arissa had never seen Solarius so furious, so full of such cold, ruthless rage.

The ice radiating from him forced her to take a step back, to put space between them.

Magic exploded around him, a violent vortex of moonlit shards and pulsing lunar power.

Streaks of blazing silver ripped through the air as the might of the moon threatened to break free from his control.

His chest was heaving with harsh, scraping breaths and his fists were clenched by his sides, his knuckles a ghastly shade of white.

He rolled his neck, the resounding crack enough to make Narissa’s skin crawl.

The silver of his eyes was molten, heated by uncontrollable anger.

When he finally spoke, his voice was low and grating, rough like he’d swallowed a mouthful of gravel.

“I’m going to kill him.” Solarius popped his jaw and his chest expanded, his magic amplifying.

“I’m going to fucking kill him.”

“Who?” Narissa squeaked, her own magic churning, bubbling to the surface.

She crossed her arms over her chest to keep the pull of the tides at bay.

It was bad enough her own husband didn’t remember sleeping with her, but now he seemed positively murderous, and she had no idea what had spurred such a volatile response.

If anything, she should be upset with him , not the other way around.

He was the one at fault, the one who spoiled their previous relationship.

Solarius turned his deadly eyes on her.

“Lord Calfair Skyhelm.”

Narissa blanched, concern flickering through her.

“He is a friend of yours, is he not?”

“He was…” The lunarstorm surrounding Solarius ebbed, the chaos of the moon settled, and Narissa’s soul calmed.

“Was?” Her brow furrowed slightly.

“What happened?”

Solarius didn’t even blink.

“He slept with my wife.”

Narissa balked at the accusation, her own frustration igniting.

“No! How could you say such a thing? How could you make such a wretched claim against me? I never betrayed you. Ever.”

Because she loved him, and now she realized even that was a mistake.

“I know that…now.” Solarius shoved his hands into the pockets of pants, his mouth pressed into a firm line, and the wrinkle across his brow deepened.

“But it was not me who took you to bed during that Midsummer ball in House Galefell all those nights ago. It was Calfair.”

“What?” Narissa’s voice sounded hollow to her ears, a painful echo.

The dawning of an abysmal realization.

“Think about that night, Narissa. Try and recall every detail you can.” While Solarius was the epitome of level-headed composure, his eyes told another story.

They were begging her, pleading with her to remember.

It was a decadent ball thrown in the honor of the Midsummer season, when quite literally everyone in Aeramere was on the hunt for a mate.

House Galefell was known for their lavish parties, and that particular one was no exception.

While most events were hosted later in the evening and carried on well into early morning the next day, this festivity began at the golden hour, when the sky was set on fire by the gilded rays of the setting sun so all of Galefell looked dipped in gold.

It was a spectacular sight to behold, but when Narissa tried to focus on the more specific details, she found her memory blurry and somewhat out of focus.

“We were at House Galefell for a late Midsummer celebration. There was cloud dancing.” She knew, because though Solarius was courting her then, she was again plastered to the wall like a flower and left without a dance partner.

“I waited for you, but you were called away by someone of more importance, I suppose.”

“Stop that immediately,” Solarius demanded, snatching her chin and tilting her head so she was forced to look up at him.

“Do not diminish yourself. Do not think yourself unworthy of my time or attention.”

“Easier said than done, my lord.” Narissa jerked, yanking herself free from his hold.

“Whether you intended to abandon me in search of other pursuits is neither here nor there. What matters is I was alone, at least until Lord Calfair…”

Acid roiled in her stomach and her gut clenched as a swell of nausea swept through her.

“Until he what ?” Solarius uttered the last word with such finality, Narissa was certain she could feel all the blood drain from her face.

“He gave me a glass of wine while I waited for you. He said it would keep the edge off.” She shook her head once, pressing the tips of her fingers to her temples in an effort to ease the pounding ache growing there.

Images from that night were hazy, the wine was the color of crushed black cherries.

She rarely drank, but in that moment, she’d been so overwhelmed by disappointment and her own loneliness that she’d allowed herself a moment of weakness to indulge.

Narissa knocked back the contents without a second thought, not realizing that the scent profile of the wine didn’t quite match the flavor.

“The wine,” she repeated numbly, her gaze slowly trekking over Solarius until it reached his face.

“It tasted like muddled cherries and spice, but it smelled of dragon root.”

Dragon root.

The warm, earthy scent should have been her first clue.

The queasy feeling settling in her stomach expanded and her lungs seized.

“Dragon root?” Solarius crowded her, cupping both sides of her face with his hands.

His touch was cool, her skin was hot.

“What’s dragon root?”

“It’s a plant with leaves that mimic dragon scales. But the roots, if ground into a fine powder, have been known to cause hallucinations of the one thing you desire most.” Narissa grabbed Solarius’s wrists and pushed away from him.

She’d been drugged.

Calfair had drugged her.

Narissa sucked in a garbled, gasping breath.

She was suffocating, even the air was seemingly laced with poison.

Her vision swam, a watery version of the world around her, and when she spun away from Solarius, everything tilted.

She stumbled into a slim, curving bronze tower filled with books, sending them cascading to the floor.

The beating of her heart was so loud, she could scarcely hear Solarius calling to her.

Fingers fisted into the heavy silk of her gown, she pulled, the ripping of fabric not nearly enough to disguise the broken sobs erupting from her chest.

She wanted to tear the flesh from her bones, to mutilate herself so severely, that the bastard of a lord never dared to look upon her again.

Calfair had touched her.

He’d coerced her.

He’d stolen her virtue while pretending to be Solarius.

Bile scalded the back of her throat and Narissa heaved, her nails digging into the back of the plush sofa for support.

She could sense Solarius hovering near her, the layers of his scent wrapped around her like a comforting blanket, but the chill in her blood would remain forever.

She did not think she would ever be warm again.

Not even the security of the bond was enough to save her, to soothe the agony restricting the beating of her heart.

Her body had been violated, her mind deceived.

Each ragged breath caused her chest to burn as though it had been set aflame, like she’d been scorched from the inside out.

She reached back behind her, her numb fingers fumbling with the ribbons of her gown.

“I can’t…” she choked out.

“I can’t get it off.”

“What do you need?” Solarius asked, desperation pinching his tone.

“What can I do?”

“Get it…get it off me.” She tore at the sleeves, her nails grazing skin.

“Get it off, please.”

“Okay. Just breathe, Rissa.” He reached for the velvet laces, but he wasn’t moving fast enough.

“Get it off me! Get it off, now!” Narissa clawed at the elaborate dress, hating that there were so many beads and buttons and utterly useless bows.

“Please, Sol. Get it off.”

This time, he didn’t hesitate.

He hooked his fingers into the front of her bodice and tore, ripping the seams in half, sending beads scattering all over the cottage floor.

He yanked the rest of the gown off her, freeing her from its smothering confines.

Gathering the crumpled heap of fabric in his arms, he stalked into the kitchen and shoved the ruined dress into a waste bin.

When he returned, his eyes rounded with worry.

“Narissa…your body…”

She clamped her hands over her face, mortified beyond measure.

“I don’t wish to talk about my body at the moment.”

“No. Rissa. Something is wrong.” Solarius’s rough palms gently cupped her elbows, the faintest of touches.

“You’re covered in red splotches.”

“What?”

Her hands fell away, and she glanced down between them.

Sure enough, her tanned skin was mottled with angry, red welts.

The agonizing panic coursing through her, the insufferable turmoil racing through her mind, had revealed itself in the form of uncomfortable blotches spreading across her arms, abdomen, and legs.

Solarius released her.

“What can I do for you? What do you need?”

Narissa needed to wake up.

She needed this to all be some horrific nightmare, for being tricked into bed by that wretched Lord Calfair was far worse than thinking Solarius had broken her heart.

“A shower,” she croaked, her voice hoarse and cracking.

It did not matter if what she’d experienced with Calfair happened ages ago, the halting realization left her feeling unclean, like she wanted to scrub every part of her he touched until she was raw and bleeding.

She would stand beneath a spray of scalding water, hot enough to melt away her flesh.

She craved numbness, wished she could wallow in a sea of empty feelings where she was merely a husk of a soul.

Perhaps if she broke down, if she sobbed and wailed, then maybe she could slowly start to recover.

To rebuild her confidence.

Instead, she only felt a growing sense of anger seeping with vengeance.

“Okay.” Solarius nodded, guiding her toward the main bedroom, his hand lightly hovering near the small of her back.

“Let’s get you in the shower.”

Once inside the bedroom, Narissa slipped out of her shoes and lowered herself to the edge of the bed while Solarius started the shower in the connecting bathing suite.

Thick curls of steam instantly poured into the bedroom, as though he knew she wanted the water to burn the memories away.

She stared at a spot on the floor, the one where the whorls and grains on the wood faintly resembled drifting clouds, vaguely aware of Solarius, who stood ready to jump into action if she so much as blinked the wrong way.

Tension rolled off him in heavy waves and while the warm bond blossomed inside her chest, it did nothing to soothe her soul.

He shoved one hand through his hair, shifting his weight back and forth.

Narissa knew what he was thinking—his thoughts were not nearly as chaotic as hers, but they were incredibly divisive.

He was torn between staying and caring for her and murdering Lord Calfair Skyhelm in cold blood.

“You desired me.” Solarius’s words were weak and carved with uncertainty, like he didn’t quite believe it to be true.

“That’s why you have hated me all this time, that’s why you could not stand to be in the same room as me. Because you thought it was I who bedded, then abandoned you.”

The truth of his words hung between them, carved out by foolish assumption, blatant acceptance, and erroneous resentment.

“Yes.” Narissa did not look at him, her eyes did not stray from the swirling clouds engraved upon the hardwood floor.

“You never told me why you wanted to end our courtship. You just left.”

Again, he shifted his weight, unease filling the space between them.

“I saw you with Calfair.”

Her gaze shot to him then, cold and ruthless.

She dug her nails into the soft bedding to keep from doing something she might regret…

like slapping him across his wretchedly handsome face.

“That is not an excuse,” she snapped, no longer caring if venom laced her tone.

“Years, Sol. I blamed myself for what happened between us for years . When in fact I was exploited by your so-called best friend and all the while you made me think I was somehow unworthy of you.”

His shoulders bunched and his hands curled into fists.

She could see his anger simmering beneath the surface, feel it pushing down the bond.

A swath of hair fell across his forehead, just covering one eye, but she could plainly see the silver of his gaze harden.

“How do you think I felt, Narissa? I saw you fucking my best friend!” He threw his arms out and paced in a small circle, gesturing to nothing and everything all at once.

“What was I supposed to do? Barge in and haul him off of you?”

“Yes!” Narissa no longer cared if she was shouting, if her wrath and pain poured from the whole of her heart.

She lurched off the bed, rammed one pointed nail directly into the solid wall of his chest.

“That is exactly what you should have done! Then we would have realized I’d been drugged, and you wouldn’t have been stupid enough to think I could ever love anyone but you!”

Solarius’s mouth fell open.

He stared at her, the expression on his face one she didn’t quite recognize.

But right now, he was the last person in all of Aeramere she wanted to see.

“Rissa…”

“Out.” She pointed to the door of the bedroom and spoke with deadly calm.

With poised authority.

“Get out.”

“Narissa, please. Can we just?—”

“No.” She couldn’t look at him again, otherwise she would cave, she would give in to him, and she couldn’t afford to have her resolve weaken.

Not yet.

“I need to think. I need to breathe. And I can’t do that with you here.”

“Narissa.”

“If you don’t leave, I will.” Narissa squeezed her eyes shut and took a steady breath, inhaling the citrus steam filling the space between them.

“Please, Solarius. I need a moment to myself.”

His mouth was pressed into a firm line, but he said nothing.

He gave her one sharp nod, turned on his heel, and left her alone in the bedroom, closing the door quietly behind him.

One, two, three, four…

Inhale.

Five, six, seven…

Exhale.

Eight…

nine…

On ten, Narissa screamed.

She screamed until her throat ached, until the last shriek of rage was choked out of her on a heaving sob.

And when she stepped into the searing shower, she made a silent vow to herself that she would never allow another to take advantage of her.

She would rise with the powerful ocean tides, she would be the cresting waves, the dangerous currents.

And Calfair would pay for his transgressions against her.