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CHAPTER TWELVE

N arissa did not sleep.

Instead, she braced one hand on her hip and rubbed the other over her heart, where the bond warmed, spreading through her chest.

A few tears slipped free once she was finally out of his sight, but she’d almost tripped over a pearl that rolled beneath her bare feet.

She hated how she was in tune to his thoughts, to his emotions, to the steady beating of his heart.

She could follow the bond between them and know it would lead her back to him, but that would defeat the purpose of intentionally trying to evade him.

Solarius was aimlessly wandering the halls of House Azurvend, same as her, though his thoughts weren’t quite as tormented as her own.

She attempted to barricade her mind, carefully building a wall so he wouldn’t be privy to her innermost thoughts.

It should hold so long as she didn’t let down her defenses.

Narissa shook her head, scolding herself.

Of course, she had to do something so foolish as kiss him.

But breaking tides, he’d been so tempting.

And when he’d picked her up in the pool, and every inch of him had been pressed against every inch of her, how could she possibly do anything else?

One careless moment of weakness and she’d bonded herself to Lord Solarius Starstorm.

It didn’t matter if he was all she ever wanted, all she ever dreamed of, because he’d made himself perfectly clear quite some time ago.

He did not want her.

And Narissa highly doubted an arranged marriage and an accidental bond would be enough to change his mind.

The moment the sun broke the horizon, Narissa burrowed herself into a thick fur coat and headed down to the beach.

The wind bit through her heavy skirts and she wished she’d been smart enough to grab an extra layer for added warmth.

She looped a wicker basket over one arm and her leather boots sank deep into the damp sand with each step.

Eventually the call of the ocean drowned out the howl of the wind, but it did little to erase the frigid air from smacking her cheeks and whipping her hair.

Narissa sniffed, pressing her lips together as she bent down to gather some fresh herbs and plants for her potions.

She rummaged through the overgrowth near the shoreline, collecting stems of sun thistle and jaded aura flowers.

Every so often she paused to grab some seashells that caught her eye.

Some were shaped like swirling cones, others reminded her of tiny fans.

They ranged in color too—washed white, pearlescent blue, and the shimmer of a melted sunset.

She rinsed away the grit and sand, dipping them in the waves that came to kiss the shore.

Even as she rolled over the word “kiss” then quickly tried to shove it into the recesses of her despairing thoughts, an image of Solarius popped into her mind.

The devastated look in his eyes as he held her, the way the silver of them burned hot the moment he lifted her into his arms.

And the kiss…

oh sweet shores, that kiss.

Solarius had not been gentle or kind, he hadn’t taken his time exploring her.

No, he’d wanted to claim and conquer.

His mouth slashed over hers, demanding she accept all he was willing to give.

His tongue tangled with hers, tasting and devouring, drawing out her inhibitions.

When his grip on her bottom tightened, when he squeezed her flesh, possessing her with his hands, Narissa had unraveled.

She’d melted into him, knowing she was made for him.

And the way his cock nestled so pleasantly between her legs while she was in his arms…

if she’d adjusted herself just a bit, angled herself a little differently, he would have filled her completely.

His body was more cut than she remembered.

Muscular and toned, she’d wanted nothing more than to lick every solid inch of him.

Especially his rather impressive cock.

She definitely didn’t recall him being quite so large when she first lay with him, but then again, most of that evening was an uncomfortable blur.

Warmth pooled low in her belly and goosebumps that had absolutely nothing to do with the cold riddled her flesh.

Her nipples hardened, straining against the confines of her gown.

Narissa stood and blew out a breath, lifting her face to the sky so the bitter wind could cool her cheeks.

If she wasn’t careful, she’d let her guard down, and Solarius would know exactly what she was thinking about…

he would know exactly what she wanted.

“Again, I find you without your husband,” a familiar male voice called over the rushing waves.

Narissa spun around to face her cousin, schooling her expression into one of bored neutrality.

“Reif, we’ve been over this. My time is of no value to him.”

She lifted her basket, displaying the contents of plants and shells as though it was some kind of proof.

“He doesn’t care about me.”

Reif strolled toward her, kicking up sand in his wake.

His hands were tucked into the pockets of his heavy overcoat, and he dipped his chin as he approached, unfazed by her explanation.

“He told you that, did he?”

Narissa bit her lip.

“Well, not in those words.”

The lie tasted foul in her mouth.

In fact, Solarius told her quite the opposite.

He claimed her time, her emotions, her feelings…

that all of her mattered.

But his promises were easily made and easily broken, just like the crust of a pie.

Reif shoved his wavy blond hair back from his face, his eyes softening.

“Then he said he didn’t want to spend time with you?”

“Ah…” Another moment when she’d shut Solarius down completely.

He’d asked to go with her when she left the music room, and again she’d denied him.

She’d left him, until he’d followed her to the tide pools.

But now Reif was staring at her like she was an ever-growing thorn in his side.

“We’re simply not compatible.”

Reif rocked back onto his heels, digging them deeper into the sand.

He roughed his knuckles along the line of his jaw, his gaze drifting to the horizon to the east.

“I suppose it’s kind of difficult to come to such a decision when you never spend time with one another.”

“He doesn’t want me, Reif.” Exasperation splintered through her, but even though she believed the words she spoke once before, now she wasn’t entirely sure.

Last night, those fleeting moments they shared in the tide pool spoke silent volumes.

If anything, it cemented the fact that Solarius absolutely wanted her, at least physically, but she was terrified of losing her heart to him again.

Narissa clutched the basket to her waist, stiffening against the gusting breeze.

She grasped for the final excuse and tossed it to him.

“Solarius is the one who ended our courtship, not me.”

Reif leveled her with a singular, questioning look.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did he end your courtship?”

An excellent question, one that had haunted her midnights nearly as much as his face.

“I…I don’t know.” The memory would bleed Narissa’s heart until it failed to beat.

Her chest ached, and she took a steady breath, fearful that Solarius would sense her dread.

“I always assumed it was because he got what he wanted and saw no use for me anymore.”

Reif arched one brow, the corner of his mouth quirking.

“So, you never asked?”

Shame filled her.

It wasn’t as though she never thought about asking Solarius why he left her, because she had, many times.

But the truth of the matter was that she was terrified of the answer.

She didn’t want to know if he’d grown tired of her, if he didn’t want her, or worse, if he’d found someone else.

To protect her heart, she’d channeled that fear into anger, which had morphed into a twisted loathing.

“Do you think you’re undeserving of an answer?” Reif pressed.

Narissa lifted her chin.

“Of course not.”

Reif shrugged and started to walk away.

“Then maybe you should find out,” he called from over his shoulder as he sauntered up the beach back toward the house.

Narissa scowled.

Damn her cousin for using sound logic.

Dinner was painfully awkward.

Narissa had managed to dodge Solarius and escape his alluring gaze for the majority of the day, but now he was seated directly across from her, and the knowing look in his eyes held her captive.

Every so often he would glance down at his plate of seared fish and roasted vegetables, then he would blink and lift his gaze to her.

The way he stared at her from beneath those somber brows caused her skin to prickle with delightful awareness.

His silver hair with its inky tips fell across his face, covering one eye and giving him an air of seductive mystery.

The midnight blue shirt he wore was flecked with silver thread, and he’d rolled the sleeves to reveal inches of corded muscle and veined forearms.

He’d become an unavoidable distraction, the kind she could no longer simply ignore.

To make matters worse, the mating bond seemed to expand and warm, coiling around her heart like the strangling vines of writhing bane.

It pulled and stretched, toying with her volatile emotions.

The need for attention, the urgency to be touched by Solarius, thrummed through every inch of her, wound her nerves so tightly she thought she might combust.

Mating bonds were incredible things, fueling the lust for desire and the ache to do the unthinkable.

Warmth spread through Narissa, and a distinctive heat left her tingling and aching.

Crossing one leg over the other, she twisted her napkin in her lap.

She swiped her tongue along her bottom lip, finding herself incredibly parched.

It was possible she was dying of thirst.

Solarius licked a drop of sauce from his fork, and she almost whimpered.

It was a raw kind of torture, being bonded to the male who’d broken her heart.

Narissa wanted nothing more than to crawl across the table, seat herself in front of him with her legs spread, and plead with him to feast upon her instead.

Solarius choked on his water.

His gaze snared on her, and the silver of his eyes turned molten, heated with raw hunger.

Narissa blanched, slumping into her seat.

The flush of embarrassment scalded her cheeks as the realization slowly sank in.

He’d heard her

Breaking tides, Solarius had heard her thoughts, and it was too late to take them back.

He’d been given a full view of her mind.

Narissa ducked her head, wishing she could turn into a puddle and melt through the wooden floorboards, never to be seen again.

“This is absurd.” Reif grabbed his glass of whiskey and took a hefty swig, draining the contents.

Planting one elbow firmly on the table, he gestured toward them with the empty glass.

“The two of you need to sort this nonsense out immediately.”

Now it was Narissa’s turn to hastily swallow down her mortification.

Only death would have been less humiliating than having one’s cousin assume the reason for the strained silence at the dinner table was because of a martial spat and not at all due to the ridiculously heavy sexual tension.

Narissa shrank even further into her chair.

Disappearing in a crowded ballroom and making herself scarcely noticeable against a backdrop of flowery papered walls was far easier than trying to blend in with the fabric of her cushioned seat.

Solarius, on the other hand, remained unmoving.

His gaze had not strayed from her.

In fact, Narissa wasn’t even certain he had blinked.

He was unwavering, the entirety of his focus resting solely upon her.

Reif rapped his knuckles on the table.

“Lord Starstorm had the right idea.”

At the mention of Ariesian’s title, Solarius snapped out of his entranced state, his head swinging in Reif’s direction.

“Pardon?”

“I tried to tell him we shouldn’t force it, but I’m beginning to see he was correct in his early suggestion.” Reif leaned back in his chair, his fingers steepled in a way that made him look as though he was plotting their future demise.

He made a sort of tsk ing noise and shook his head, shoving a hand through his unkempt dark blond hair.

“A mandatory honeymoon is exactly what the two of you need.”

“What?” Narissa yelped, at the same time Solarius attempted to negotiate with him.

“Reif, please. I assure you that is the last thing we need.”

For the first time in quite a while, Narissa found herself in agreement with Solarius.

It would be a complete disaster if the two of them were required to spend time alone together.

Being sent off to some horribly romantic location, then left with no other option but to pretend to enjoy one another’s company would end in disaster.

They would be sequestered in the same room and Narissa wouldn’t know a moment of peace because the bond would ensure Solarius—and every glorious inch of his body—consumed all of her thoughts.

Narissa simply would not survive it.

She would absolutely perish.

But Reif remained undeterred.

“No. This back-and-forth silent treatment has gone on long enough. House Azurvend and House Celestine have reputations to uphold, and I shall not have these petty quarrels sullying our good names.” He gently rapped one fist upon the table, enunciating the finality of his decision.

“I will have your bags packed at once. You leave tonight.”

A wave of nausea slammed into Narissa, and she blew out a low, shaky breath.

“And where, may I ask, is our destination?”

“Windsong. In Galefell,” Reif responded, cutting at the flaky grilled fish on his plate.

“Galefell,” Narissa repeated numbly, sparing a wary glance in Solarius’s direction.

His mood instantly soured.

A line of vexation marred his brow and his jaw popped.

He lifted the whiskey glass in his hand and swirled the golden contents, his knuckles whitening with each churn.

The silver of his eyes had cooled to the shade of cold iron.

Of course he was agitated, House Galefell was the home of Calfair Skyhelm, his former best friend.

The two had a falling out some time ago, and though Narissa wasn’t entirely certain of the details, she did know Solarius kept his grudge against the sky lord closely guarded.

“There are plenty of ways to spend your time together.” Reif ticked off each idea on one of his fingers.

“They have those fancy boat rides through the sky, their entertainment district is quite magical, not to mention Eponians are bred there, so perhaps you might take riding lessons.”

Solarius scoffed.

“I am more than capable of riding an Eponian.”

Narissa, on the other hand, was certainly not.

The winged horses were beautiful, but she found them slightly intimidating.

Not only that, but she much preferred to be on the ground or near the water’s edge.

Flying through the sky—whether on horseback or in the safety of a carriage—was her least favorite activity.

“But most importantly,” Reif continued, ignoring Solarius’s protest, “maybe the two of you will learn how to tolerate one another. I would hardly expect you to fall in love, but for the sake of both our families, perhaps you could make a little more effort. We are supposed to be uniting our houses, not dividing them. Lay your past quarrels to rest, before your abhorrence of each other ruins all we’ve worked to achieve.”

Narissa stood abruptly.

Her mouth fell open, but she snapped it shut when her cousin shoved back from the table and stalked from the dining room, leaving them to suffer in the resounding silence of his fading footfalls.

Reif had never once raised his voice to her, nor had she ever seen him angry, but his mounting frustration was palpable.

It hung heavily in the air, suffocating her.

The last thing she wanted was to disappoint Reif, especially since he willingly took her in after the death of her parents.

But a honeymoon?

With Solarius?

Narissa’s knees weakened, and she gripped the edge of the table with both hands to keep herself from swaying.

Honeymoons came with certain promises…

certain expectations.

She blanched, sucking in a shallow breath, her chest heaving.

Solarius rose, cocking his head to one side as he eyed her.

“How are you faring, Rissa love? You look slightly ill.”

Bile scalded the back of her throat, and she dug her nails into the wooden surface of the table.

“I am.”

He clicked his tongue, then knocked back the remnants of his whiskey.

His gaze raked over her, peeling away the layers of protection she’d constructed around herself.

“Does the thought of spending time with me really make you physically sick?”

The accusation was harsh, scraping away her resolve.

She shook her head, pressing her lips together.

“It’s not that.”

Her grating whisper clawed at the ache forming between her temples.

Solarius rose, planted his hands on the table’s edge, and leaned forward.

He matched her motions.

The lines of his face reminded her of granite, hard and unwavering.

“Then by all means, enlighten me.”

Narissa shook her head.

She didn’t want to have this conversation.

Not here.

Not now.

She didn’t want to relive the painful memories of their past.

Her lungs caved and she grasped at her wavering confidence.

Usually, she had no problem giving him a lashing of the tongue, but for some reason—be it the pressure of the bond or some other undiscovered reason—she couldn’t find the strength to face him.

“It’s nothing,” she muttered, denying him the opportunity for an argument.

“You’re lying,” he countered, and she kept her gaze focused on her half-eaten plate of food, unable to meet his eye.

“Perhaps.”

“Damn it, Narissa!” Solarius slammed one fist upon the table, splintering the wood and rattling the dishes.

She jumped, her eyes flying to him, only to find the unstable emotions of anger and desperation colliding on his face.

“Tell me, Rissa. Right now. Why do you hate me? What have I done to deserve such loathing from you?”

Narissa met his menacing glare with one of her own, her resolve snapping.

“You broke my heart, Sol!”

“And you broke mine!” He shoved both hands through his hair so the messy pieces fell across his face, then he threw his arms out wide.

“Yet here I am, trying to make this work.”

Her bottom lip began to tremble, and she bit it until the pain made her gasp.

“Impossible.”

“What’s impossible?” he demanded.

“I couldn’t have possibly broken your heart, Solarius.” Narissa clenched her jaw and lifted her chin, the threat of tears causing her vision to swim.

“It was never mine.”