Page 104 of All the Devils are Here

By the time I make it there, though, that’s all healed, and I kick off my shoes and let my toes sink into the sand. Again, I can’t fight my smile. I never thought I’d have this again. I shove my hands into my pockets and breathe in the sea-salt air. I’d have made it to a beach at some point, sure. But daylight? Should have been impossible.

“Never thought I’d see a vampire out enjoying the beach.”

I jump at the sound of Rachel’s voice. She’s much better dressed for the cooler weather, though when she looks down and sees my bare feet, she kicks off her trainers and stuffs her socks inside them.

“I missed it,” I admit.

Her expression doesn’t shutter the way I expect it to. She studies me instead, wind whipping her hair up around her face.

“Wanna walk?”

“Sure.”

The tide is fairly high, so we walk along its edge, and I enjoy the cool kiss of the water on my skin. It’s kind of busy, but that’s nice, too. Not like you get so many crowds at night.

“I thought about not coming,” Rachel says.

“I didn’t know if you would.”

She sighs. “It’s not—I don’t know what to do with you.”

“You don’t have to do anything with me.”

“No, I know.” She pauses and turns to face the sea, back to the sands. I stop, too, holding my shoes limply in one hand. “I don’t know how to feel about this.Anyof it, not just you.”

“At least you already knew about vampires.”

“Yeah, I guess there’s that.”

I don’t really know what to say to her. An apology, sure, because I am sorry that I haven’t been in touch, but I don’t know if I’d change that if given a second chance. I assumed she didn’t know. Why would she know? It wasn’t just Vlad who laid out the rules of being a vampire after I was turned. Jeremiah said the same thing. Even Paxton and Asher were certain I shouldn’t contact anyone from my human life.

“I didn’t mean to leave without warning,” I say. “Obviously. And then—I didn’t know what to do, so I didn’t try anything at all.”

Rachel gives me a sardonic look. “You mean Vlad didn’t tell you to stay away.”

“Hey, don’t. It’s not his fault.”

She blows out a breath, turning her gaze to the horizon again. “I know. I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, he seems like a trade up from Ben.”

Ben?Ben.I let out a startled laugh. “Fuck. I don’t think about him at all.”

Not even in the abstract, really. I think about when Vlad turned me, but that’s all aboutVlad, not even the crash itself. If anyone asked me, I’d be able to tell them, but Ben never crosses my mind.

“Good. Fucker. You know he came to your funeral with his new boyfriend?”

I laugh again. I can’t help it. It’s insulting, yes, but fuckinghell, it’s funny, and Rachel meets my gaze and then a second later, she’s laughing, too.

It takes us a minute to stop, and when we do, we’re standing closer, shoulders brushing.

“I’m sorry you had to do all that,” I say.

“Me and Margot talked about it. I get why you wouldn’t come back. And I mean, obviously, I’m glad you’re notactuallydead.Deaddead.”

“Deaddead,” I echo and grin when she rolls her eyes.

“It all makes sense. It all hurts.”

“I’m sorry.”