Page 6

Chapter Six

Shae

I still wasn’t sleeping, and this time it wasn’t the thought of Drake being so close and yet still a million miles away, it was because every time I shut my goddam eyes I saw flames and smelled smoke. Despite what Dad always said, I wasn’t stupid and was convinced he was responsible for both Mom and Gran dying. Two house fires. I knew the fire here had reminded me of Mom. Gran’s in a way as well, even though I hadn’t been there when she died. But the cops hadn’t let me see her body so I could imagine. Then Dad had refused to pay for any sort of cremation, he’d just laughed and said if the government couldn’t handle it, he knew a pig farmer.

At just turned fourteen, I’d had to ask what he meant, and he told me in gleeful detail until I had to run to the bathroom to throw up.

Dr. Brown, who’d treated my heart, said he wouldn’t be surprised if that had triggered my transformation a few days after Gran’s death. Or not that conversation exactly, because obviously I never told him that, but he wondered if Gran’s death was the reason I’d woken up feeling crap with a scar on my face a week later. Apparently there was a team of docs trying to work out if stress was a trigger for transforming. I liked Doc Brown, my cardiologist, especially when he laughed after I asked him if that meant I was like the Hulk.

He grinned and told me not to lose my temper around any expensive medical equipment.

I’d forgotten most of the night Mom died. I’d known Dad didn’t give a shit about me at that point, and that he only set fire to Gran’s house when I wasn’t there to ensure I got her money so he could take it from me. He’d told me the old cow had a will that meant if I was dead it would go to some sort of charity. I had no idea how he knew, and I fully expected to meet the same fate when he got the money.

But then I’d gotten the scar, and Dad decided I might be useful. He knew I could go fast but he’d no idea how fast and I had no intention of showing him. I had no intention of being useful for any reason until he’d threatened Georgia.

Georgia was my best friend at school. Her family lived three houses down from Gran and a block away from Mom’s, and she was braver than me, a ton braver. There was nothing she wouldn’t do, including punching Dave Bennet on the nose in second grade for calling me a girl because I hung around with Georgia instead of the boys.

Georgia’s older sister Michaela said I should take being called a girl as a compliment. And remembering Dave’s hysterical crying when she didn’t even hit him that hard, I reckoned Michaela was right.

I’d been really stupid, though. School was really hit and miss after Gran, but that day had been a miss not just because Gran had died two days before, but because I was sporting a black eye Dad had given me for crying about it. Georgia turned up and because she was avoiding my dad, she’d just climbed up the tree next to my window trying to get in. Except he’d locked it. We both tried to open it, and I didn’t think about how much noise we were making until the bedroom door flew open.

Thirty minutes later the cops were at the door because Georgia’s mom and dad had called them.

Dad had seen her. Made it very clear if I didn’t say I’d locked it myself because I was sick of Georgia bothering me, he would make sure Georgia’s house got the same pest treatment as Gran’s. I didn’t have to ask what that meant.

I didn’t go back to school because three days after that, I’d gotten my scar. Funny how CPS stopped turning up after that. Georgia tried a few more times to see me but eventually stopped when I ignored her.

I reached out and lifted my glass for some water. Determined to get some sleep, I shut my eyes, and didn’t open them even when the flames came back.

Drake.

I was awake instantly and kept very still. Every instinct was screaming at me that something was wrong. Had Ryan made another attempt? Surely even he wasn’t that much of a stupid prick? Then I heard it again. I got up silently and reached for my gun, moving first to the window and checking that no one seemed to be near the front of the house. I opened my bedroom door without a sound either.

Experience had me oiling hinges and memorizing creaking floorboards the first week I moved in.

Then I heard it again and swore, putting the gun down. Because the sound—the whimper—wasn’t anyone outside. As I drew close to the living room, I could see Shae thrashing in the throes of whatever nightmare gripped him. See sweat beading on his forehead, his face screwed up as horrors chased through his mind.

Fuck, no. Not on my watch.

“Shae.” I didn’t whisper, didn’t shout. I didn’t touch him either, as I’d learned the hard way from one of my buddies not to become a physical part of their nightmare, and guilt suffused me as I remembered what had happened when Shae woke me up.

“Shae.”

Nothing. His lips were moving but there were no words, just those god-awful noises from his throat.

Like a wounded animal.

I dropped down on the pull-out bed. “Shae? It’s me, Drake. It’s just a nightmare, buddy.”

He thrashed his arm to the side, and I caught it reflexively, and didn’t let go. “Shae, wake up. It’s Drake.”

Then quicker than I could blink he was across the room to the wall by the kitchen, blinking his eyes and shaking. I knew his ability had kicked in, and I followed him slowly, not wanting to spook him. His fucking heart.

“Shae. It’s me. You’re fine,” I soothed. He focused on me and took a step as if heading my way, but stumbled, and I might not have his speed, but I was still there in a couple of heartbeats, my arm around his sweat-slicked, bare waist supporting him. I led him to a kitchen chair and got him some water, pressing the glass into his shaking hands and not letting go until he’d taken a couple of sips, and I knew he wouldn’t drop it.

“Sorry,” he croaked out, the word barely a whisper.

“Nothing to be sorry for,” I replied, then subsided. I watched him shiver, then got up and grabbed the throw from the chair, draping it around his shoulders. I knew it was reaction and not cold. Weren’t enhanced supposed to be able to control their body temperature? But then I wanted to slap myself as I was pretty sure that was some sort of super-hero movie shit.

Even if the team did call Finn Superman. He wasn’t enhanced, but I was pretty sure most of them thought Finn had superpowers.

“Think you can get back to sleep?” It was a little after three.

“Sure,” he replied automatically. I knew that was a lie, but I guessed I deserved it for asking such a dumbass question. His bedroom was unlivable, but I wasn’t a hundred percent sure that was—and then it hit me.

Fuck.

His mom and gran had died when their houses were set on fire. I was such a prick. It wasn’t just service men and women that got versions of PTSD. And if anyone had been through the ringer, Shae had. First thing tomorrow I was going to see who Rawlings knew. We all had to talk to someone every year and while I went through the motions, Shae really needed it.

But none of that was going to help him sleep tonight.

I got up and walked to the linen closet by my bedroom, pulling out a couple of clean sheets, then remade the pull-out bed.

“I can do that,” Shae said, starting to get up.

“It’s done,” I countered, and switched on the back lighting for the bookshelves I’d helped Jim make many years ago. I gazed at them and noticed one of my favorites on the side table. Shae must have pulled it out. I hadn’t read Mercedes Lackey for years. This was the first book in her Dragon Riders series, and I assumed Shae must have been interested. “This good?” I turned and waved it at him to draw him out a little.

He stood, seeming steadier and walked over. “I read book one years ago, but I never got a chance to finish them.”

I nodded and passed it to him as he reached me, and he perched on the end of the bed and looked at the back cover. I watched him carefully, tossed a couple of cushions on the bottom of the mattress, and sat down.

I could go to bed. I could sit in either of the two easy chairs on the other side of the room. But I didn’t do either. And I didn’t really want to question why. There was still three feet between us, so I wasn’t crowding him, I just wanted him to know he wasn’t on his own.

This was a mistake. I knew it was. But I also knew the chances of him going back to sleep were less than zero.

He looked down at the book, then squinted as if he couldn’t read it properly which I definitely knew was insane. Enhanced didn’t need glasses. “What’s wrong?”

He shrugged. “Not sure I feel like reading.”

He still looked pale, and he turned to the bookshelves and narrowed his eyes slightly. But that didn’t make sense. Then another idea hit me. “Want some Tylenol?”

Shae hesitated, but then he nodded, and I called myself a stupid prick for the second time. He didn’t have vision problems, he had a headache . Hardly surprising. I got back up and rummaged in the kitchen drawer I knew they were in. Shaking a couple out, I grabbed his water, freshened it, and brought them both over.

“Thanks,” Shae said quietly and took them.

Then he lay down and closed his eyes, but I could see tension in the way he seemed to hold every muscle coiled.

“Look,” I sighed. “When I was a kid I got migraines. It didn’t go down well with my mom and dad because I was supposed to be this perfect kid. Not allowed to be sick. The migraines got worse until I passed out at school one day. Despite my parents telling the docs it was an attention-seeking stunt, the doctor wanted me to stay in for tests. There was this nurse on nights, and I didn’t sleep so good.” I paused. Mack had been amazing. I’d gotten some magazine from another kid, and I was trying to read it despite my head feeling like it was going to explode.

“He read to me. He didn’t mind because apart from brief periods, nights were all about watching people sleep. I was in my own room because they assumed the noise on the ward wouldn’t help.” He chuckled to himself. “Best three nights’ sleep I ever got.”

“I’m not a kid,” Shae spat out.

“I know,” I agreed. Fuck, did I ever. “Thing is, I’m going to read because I’m wide awake. You’re awake and prepared to lie there suffering because you don’t think it’s cool to have someone read out loud a goddam book they’re gonna read anyway.” I picked up his book. “Let’s face it. I’ll probably be crap at this so you might just go to sleep because you’re bored as fuck.”

Which seemed to relax him, and he nodded cautiously, trying not to wince at the movement. I didn’t make any fuss, just started at chapter one. By the beginning of chapter three he had his eyes shut. By chapter four he was definitely asleep.

I stopped reading and closed the book. Watched him sleep. I wasn’t exactly comfortable perched on the end of the pull-out, but I didn’t move.

I sighed and questioned all my life choices. There’d been a few lovers. One woman until I’d worked out that being gay was who I was and not simply convenience after I joined up. Not that I thought being gay was this unsurmountable obstacle now. There were enough people in the Florida team that proved that wrong, and look at Danny and Kane. They were so ridiculously happy I was going to need a full row of fillings.

I kept my gaze on Shae. I’d guess a therapist would make a lot of him being attracted to me. Nothing so crass as daddy issues, maybe more savior ones. Not that I was anyone’s hero, but I could understand how that might get all mixed up in his head.

I just didn’t know what to do about it. My disappearing had been a huge mistake that had nearly killed him. Maybe… An idea popped into my head that was insane. But it took hold. Shae was currently his own worst enemy. His lack of confidence. His body betraying him. Health issues no young guy wanted to face, especially as the only upside to his scar usually meant he was stronger and fitter. But he didn’t even have that.

What if I was the answer? Temporary, of course, because as soon as he got well, both physically and mentally, he’d wake up to being with an old man and realize our relationship was a mistake. I knew that would happen and I needed to plan for it. But until that day, I could look after him. Make sure he got what he needed. Grew stronger.

Would it kill me when he eventually walked away? Yes, absolutely.

But was it the right thing to do?

Yes.

I just needed to go into this knowing it was all for Shae. I glanced at him again. People fell asleep. People moved in their sleep. I put the book down and crawled closer. Shae never moved, but it was still a long time until I closed my eyes.