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Chapter One

Seven months after One Step Sideways

Shae

Picking up the last four trays of soda in one go made my back twinge. I tried not to think about what it might do to the rest of me, because despite being enhanced, as the world called it, thanks to the fuckers who had experimented on me, I now had heart problems.

No wonder Drake wasn’t interested. Everyone else called him Ringo, but he’d told me to call him by his proper name, which I thought was special but just showed how pathetic I was.

I knew it was a military thing, all the nicknames. But then only Drake called Diesel by his surname of Rawlings, when everyone else called him Diesel.

Drake had been cool while I was at Diesel and Pink’s home, but the first time I’d laid myself open to him—and shit , had that been humiliating—he’d shut me down faster that I could run. Then he’d bailed.

Which, long story short, was why I was working at Dave’s Deals and basically carrying shit for minimum wage. I knew I wasn’t supposed to with my heart issues, but as Dave said, I couldn’t work the register because the scar would scare customers away, so I was stuck being his stock assistant. He was my tenth place that had a “help wanted” note in the window, but all the others had taken one look and basically told me I didn’t have a chance. Some had been obvious, some just made excuses. Dave had taken one look and nearly salivated. I found out why that first day. Because I was enhanced, I was basically expected to do the work of three people. One had quit because Dave was such a shit. He’d fired another after I started, and of course I did Dave’s work as well, because his lazy ass never moved from the register and expected me to do everything else.

Pink would have wrung her hands in worry and tried to make me rest and feed me. Diesel would have been disappointed, and that would have probably been worse. Diesel was the dad I never really had, even if he wasn’t technically old enough, but because of that, I couldn’t sit around on my ass all day and eat their food.

And all of that was the reason I was living in a dump and had lied to Diesel and said I was sharing with one of the other guys from Dave’s Deals. Not that sharing with Jez would fly as he wouldn’t spit on me if I was on fire, but I guess losing your job because of someone else when you’d done nothing wrong would burn. I didn’t blame him.

I didn’t blame him for the threats, either. He was so mad when he’d stormed out of Dave’s office, he’d marched right up to me and told me I’d better be looking over my shoulder.

But I was out of choices. The most fucked-up thing was that the doc had told me I wasn’t to use my ability at all for the next six months because it might put too much strain on my already fucked-up heart. The delivery today had taken me three hours to put away. If I’d have been able to speed up, it might have taken ten minutes max, but apart from not wanting to fuck my heart up more, I wasn’t going to do anything Dave might see. Who knew what he’d demand of me?

I was home by seven and the pack of cheap instant microwave meals that sat in the fridge wasn’t really appealing. I knew I’d lost weight, according to the last doc’s visit, and no one was happy about that either.

Maybe tonight, just to cheer me up, I could spring for a pizza? 911 Pepperoni was downstairs and despite them being thin and crispy when I really preferred deep-pan, it was cheap and they would run up with it so none of their customers would see me.

I grabbed my cell phone and sent a text to Marty, then grabbed my cash. The knock on the door came in ten minutes and I hobbled over there, every muscle in my body screaming. I didn’t even have so much as a damn chain, so I unlocked the door and opened it.

I wasn’t prepared for the punch that knocked me on my ass.

Drake

Why the fuck Diesel insisted on seeing me after the job was finished, I had no clue. He usually gave us a few days off and it wasn’t like looking after Later Maybe or training their new permanent bodyguards had been challenging. In fact, the worst thing about the entire job had been listening to their wall-to-wall sugar-sweet pop songs. If I heard their breakout single one more time, I was likely to break something myself.

I let myself into the apartments Diesel kept for the team and eyed the stacked boxes. After stepping over the pile of them, I walked into the kitchen and bent to give Sadie, Danny’s service dog, a belly rub when she rolled over. Danny rushed into the room, dragging Kane with him. Not that Kane looked like he minded, and Magic, their lab puppy, barreled in right behind them.

I grinned because his paws were huge when he planted them on me. “You’re gonna be a big boy, huh?”

“We’re heading to the new place because I forgot to measure the closet,” Danny said in a rush. Kane rolled his eyes, but with affection.

“I can help move you guys tomorrow,” I offered, because they were getting their own place with a yard.

“It’s covered,” Diesel said, joining them. “Besides which, I have something else for you.”

Groaning, I sat down. “What happened to a few days off? Four months,” I whined. “Please just tell me it’s not some pop group.”

“No,” Diesel said. “It’s Shae.”

Everything in my body stilled, including my lungs. In fact, it was only when my chest grew tight that I realized I needed oxygen and inhaled. “What’s Shae? What’s wrong?” I barely managed to resist bringing my hand up to my chest and rubbing it.

Diesel sighed. “He’s killing himself.”

“The fuck?” I rose to my feet and started turning until Diesel’s hand clamped around my wrist.

“Wait. Don’t go running over there without the facts.”

I paused, then went to the fridge and grabbed a couple of beers for us both, convinced I was going to need it. “Tell me,” I demanded.

“He moved out of the house ten days after you went on assignment.”

I gaped. “Three months?”

“Nearly four.”

“Where?” I clipped out and sucked back half the bottle in one go.

“He’s in a studio apartment on Beach Court.” I drew a blank. “It’s just off English Avenue.”

“Shit,” I breathed out, knowing the area. Then I focused on Diesel. “What the fuck were you thinking?”

Diesel folded his arms. “He’s over eighteen. Pink begged him to stay. He was offered a bedroom here. I even told him I needed someone to look after the place as Kane and Danny were moving out, and that it came with a salary. He wouldn’t entertain the idea. He won’t accept money of any sort, apart from his medical bills, and he told me if I interfered he would disappear.”

I could practically feel the color draining from my face. “Then what’s he doing for cash?”

“He told us he had a job as a stockroom assistant at Dave’s Deals. One of those places you can buy most things. Cops have warned them a couple of times about knock-offs, but it’s too small-time in that area for them to really pay any attention.”

Yeah, because the cops there already had their hands full trying to stop gangs from killing each other either with guns or crack.

“And?” I pressed, because I knew there was more.

“We went a few times to check the place out and the owner told Shae if, and I quote, six-foot hulks didn’t stop stalking his store he would fire Shae.”

I’d have smiled if it had been remotely funny.

“Shae was furious and told us the next time he wouldn’t even let me pay his medical bills so we sent a delivery driver in that Shae doesn’t know to see what’s going on, and since Shae started, the lazy fucker that owns the place has fired one guy and not replaced another. Which basically means Shae’s doing the work of three staff.” Diesel leaned forward. “He’s humping shit that’s too heavy for him with his heart issues. Hell, he shouldn’t even be working at all.”

“Then why the fuck did you let him?” I snapped out.

Diesel’s eyes glittered, but he didn’t answer me for a long few seconds. “Because as I said, he’s eighteen, but more importantly, he’s as stubborn an ass as you are.” Diesel smacked his hand down on the table. “I told you we were having problems. I’ve told you twice. The docs are really worried that Shae hasn’t healed as quickly as other enhanced, and there’s a high chance the damage is permanent. You need to get your head out of your ass and go sort this shit out.”

I gaped at Diesel. Opened my mouth to yell back and say it wasn’t my problem, but the fact was I might as well have pushed Shae out of Diesel’s home, and I’d fobbed Diesel off when he’d told me to come home. Convinced myself if I left he’d be okay, and practically begged Diesel to give me a long contract so I could put some distance between us. I knew he’d been upset…

Was he crying? The doc had just left, and I let myself into the small seating area next to the bedroom Shae was using. “Hey, I hope that was good news—"

But Shae made a noise in the back of his throat like he was trying to swallow a sob. Head down, shoulders hunched, back to me, I didn’t think twice about walking around to face him, but just as I drew level, he jumped up and gave me his back again.

“Shae?” I reached out and touched his shoulder, which I never did, and that seemed to break the dam. He whirled around and reached for me, and I wrapped my arms around him and held him while he shook.

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that the news Shae had gotten after three weeks in the hospital and another two months of rehabilitation at Diesel’s wasn’t good. “It’s permanent,” he whispered into my shirt. I closed my eyes in despair. The fuckers that had held him at the jail had forced him to run. And Shae didn’t just run like some Olympic athlete, he was so fast he blurred, and those bastards had tied him to a specially adapted treadmill and forced him to run so fast and for so long that his heart had given out.

I knew there was scarring. I knew they were even thinking about trying out laser surgery to reduce it, but the scarring was so extensive the surgeons were very reluctant. They wanted Shae to recover first. To gain weight. They’d even done cautious tests on his ability, but the first time Shae had used it, the machines attached to him had gone crazy and the doc had put an immediate stop to it.

It turned out they didn’t actually use the word permanent, but the doc had said he didn’t want Shae to do anything strenuous for at least six months, preferably a year, and then they’d review it. But to Shae’s ears, that meant permanent.

I realized he’d gone still in my arms, and a little discomfort trickled in. We were plastered together, and I knew my body would react if I didn’t move. I tried to take a step back. “Another few months is no time.”

He kept a tight grasp on my shirt but looked up. I maybe had a couple of inches on him, if that. “You’re only eighteen. We know there is a lot of amazing shit enhanced can do. Don’t write yourself off.”

Shae was silent for a couple of heartbeats. “I wish I wasn’t eighteen.”

“Why?” I scoffed. “I wish I was twenty years younger.”

He pinned my gaze and for some reason everything got really serious. “Because if I wasn’t a kid, you’d be more likely to enjoy this.” His lips on mine sent every brain cell I had on vacation. Lust—hot and heavy—hit me like a battering ram, but more than anything, the surge of protectiveness that slammed into me made me stop. Shove him away. Wipe my mouth on my hand like his taste was disgusting when it had been the exact opposite.

“Stop,” I almost snarled the word.

And Shae did. He stared at me for what seemed like forever until, like a coward, I ran. I was in my car and on the way to the airport the same night.

“Look,” Diesel said, dragging me back to the present. “I don’t care why you ran. I can imagine, but to be honest, that isn’t important. If I had to guess, it was your age,” he paused. “So, act like the grown up you’re supposed to be and go fix this shit or I’m gonna send Pink ‘round to your place.”

I nodded and palmed my keys. Pink was scary protective, but that wasn’t what scared the shit out of me. “Text me the address,” I said and left the apartment.

It was supposed to take thirty-five minutes, but I did it in just over twenty. I didn’t know what to think. How to feel. Shame and worry burned through me. What I wanted to do battled with what I should do. I wanted Shae with every fiber of my being, but I was nearly thirty fucking years too old for him.

Thirty.

And if we went there, what happened when he was the age I was now? He’d be looking after an old man. I couldn’t do that to him. I could never do that.

I loved him too much.

And that realization had been what sent me running.

But the same realization made me come back. I had a feeling it always would.