Page 23

Death

M ort stamped her hooves under me, letting out a cry of alarm at the opaque white fog in all directions. No landmarks, no buildings, no people. It was an endless sea of mist, and none of my loves were here.

I stroked the shadow horse’s neck, letting her feel only confidence from me, and slid a sidelong glance at the man who rode beside me.

He’d been my companion since I woke up with a killer headache, alone except for Mort and the fog that stretched in all directions.

He found me a few hours later, and explained this empty place as best as he could.

I call it Exile, but if it has a name, there’s never been anyone here to tell me. You’re only the second person to arrive in a thousand years. I’m the first.

“Jermaine,” he said, drawing my attention. He refused to call me Death, and refused to answer to his own aspect, not that he’d tell me who he’d been. All he’d tell me was his name was Ender, he’d broken a cardinal rule, and was exiled here. Like I had, according to him.

“Yes?” I asked, turning to face him.

Like me, he looked like flesh and blood, not made of mist like everything else in this place.

He appeared to be in his late thirties, and he was both healthy and muscular, with rugged features darkened by stubble, tanned skin, and intense black eyes that currently speared me with a disgruntled glare.

“We’re going the wrong way,” he complained.

I shook my head, unable to explain the feeling in my gut. We needed to go this way. We’d been riding for days, maybe even weeks, but this was the first time I’d felt this urge and I wasn’t about to ignore it, even if it made my new ally irritated.

“Something’s pulling me this way.” I urged Mort on, and she obeyed.

“That’s Exile messing with you, but if you’d listen to me—”

“All I’ve done for days is listen to you,” I interrupted, massaging a knot in my chest. I needed to get back to the domain, to get to Cat and Miz and Tor.

And stop Madness before he did something truly insane in my absence.

Although if I believed Ender, the domain was overrun with this white fog, too.

“Not damn near enough,” Ender muttered, giving me side-eye as his grey stallion kept pace with Mort. “Exile is bleeding into the domain, and from there it will bleed out to the mortal realm. Unless you know how to staunch that blood, you’re going to rip a wider chasm.”

“Chasm?”

He made a throaty sound. “I’ve already told you this, if you’d pay attention—”

“Excuse me for worrying about my family,” I said tersely, massaging that pain in my chest.

“You upset the fall of life and death. There has to be balance, and you blundered in like a bull in a tea shop.”

“China shop,” I corrected, ignoring his glare. We weren’t friends, barely allies. He’d done nothing but nag at me, drop cryptic hints about Exile, and dodge my direct questions since we met.

“China’s a country, you fool,” he muttered. “I’ve been dead for millennia and even I know that.”

“Explain the chasm,” I prompted, scanning the fog for any identifying features and finding nothing, as always. I couldn’t even say how long I’d been here, and that sent a cold spill of apprehension through me. What if it was years?

“It opened once before, when I broke the same rule.” His smile was mirthless.

“Death gods aren’t supposed to fall in love.

It upsets the balance. It’s not too bad if you fall in love with another god, and that’s been known to happen, but with a mortal?

The whole place falls apart if a bond is formed.

” He laughed loudly, covering up my question, which irritated me more.

“Let alone five bonds. I’ll be surprised if there’s anything left of the mortal realm. ”

I guided Mort to an abrupt stop and pinned Ender with my hardest stare. “No more bullshit. Explain what’s happening and how to fix it. Now.”

He stopped his grey horse and matched my hostility with a glare of his own. “I’m trying to help you, you oblivious, stubborn arsehole. Listen. The rift opened when the bonds formed. I felt it even here. I guarantee you felt it in your domain, like a ripple through all realms.”

“The night of the Halloween party,” I breathed, going still. “The night she cast the curse that made Cat our bride.”

“Sure,” he drawled. “That. It would have happened slowly, the spill of Exile into the domain but certain things can hasten the process. Bonds becoming damaged, for example.”

I scrubbed a hand down my face. “Like Nightmare targeting us. Her telling Cat to reject Tor and Miz. Cat becoming a subject. Shit.”

“What a thrilling life you lead,” he said drolly. “Now that you know what caused it, you know how to fix it.”

My brows slammed down over my eyes. “That told me nothing except how this began. I understand Cat being our bride opened this chasm, but I know nothing about why it’s forbidden, what falling in love has to do with life and death, or how to undo what’s been done.

Or how to get out of this place,” I added, my stomach knotting at the thought of being separated from my loves for all eternity.

“The bonds are formed, there’s no undoing that now,” Ender said, giving me a serious look that made my skin prickle.

“But now the domain is tied to your relationship, so if you have arguments, end them. If you have obstacles, overcome them. Heal your bonds, or everything falls apart. All of existence now depends on one woman.”

There was something in the tightening of his dark eyes, in the way his throat flexed with a swallow. “Again,” I said, recalling his words from a few minutes ago. “You fell in love too, and were exiled for it. That must mean life and death depended on your partner. What happened to them?”

Ender’s expression hardened. “That’s not your business.”

“If it can help me get back—”

“It can’t,” he bit out, canines bared.

“But if you just told me—”

“She’s out there somewhere,” he snapped, flinging out his arm at the emptiness. “In the place all spirits ended up when the chasm widened. She was in your domain, dead and utterly oblivious to her past, to her history with me. But now? Fuck knows where she ended up.”

I forced myself to take a breath, to cool the furnace of my anger. I’d been around Tor for long enough to recognise Ender was lashing out because of a deep emotional wound. “How did the domain repair itself the first time, after you opened the chasm?”

He shrugged. “We were separated, the bond severed when she died. Balance restored.”

My whole body recoiled at the thought of Cat’s death, and Mort let out an alarmed sound. Not a damn chance. My wife wasn’t dying. She would live a long, fulfilling life full of colour and laughter and happiness, and I would be there to watch all of it.

Or I’d be trapped here and miss every moment of her life.

But she would not die. I wouldn’t allow it.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think,” Ender said, still in that blunt, bitten-off tone that covered hurt with rage.

“To consider how I should have done things, to find a way out of here and back to her, even if she doesn’t remember me.

Balance is necessary—it all comes down to the equally balanced scales of life and death.

I’m assuming you’ve neglected your deathly duties since meeting Cat? ”

I winced. “Yes. The others have, too.”

“That was your first mistake. Not fixing the emotional turmoil between you and her was the second. Balance can be found in her death, or in you fixing your mistakes. All of this—” He flicked his fingers at the fog, “tells me her soul is still in turmoil. So step one, get out of here. Step two, find her—and the others bound to her—and work on your damn relationship. Make sure it’s stable and unbreakable.

Step three— do your damn job, and sow death among mortals in the appropriate numbers.

Step four—never come back here so I never have to see your face again. ”

I gave it thought. If Nightmare fucking with our little bride had made us unstable, and the domain was tied to Cat as much as it was tied to us death gods, maybe Ender was right and all we needed to do was find peace. Safety. Contentment.

“Your solution is for us to live happily ever after?” I asked, making sure I’d got that right.

He shrugged. “Balance. This started from disorder. So counter it with order.”

Nightmare was dead, so she couldn’t threaten us again, and Poppy was removed from the picture but— “Cruelty is going to be an issue.”

“So kill her and befriend the next Cruelty. Problem solved.”

My mouth twitched but I refused to let it form a smile. Ender grated my nerves, but he had a sense of humour at least. He and Tor would get along well. “Something tells me it won’t be so simple.”

“Then simplify it.”

I narrowed my eyes at the bastard, changing my mind. “And what about step one? How do I get out?”

“Stop following the blind tug in your gut for one,” he huffed. “It’s leading you deeper into Exile, genius. Ignore that, and focus on your bond to Cat. She’s living. You should, in theory, be able to follow it out of Exile.”

“In theory,” I echoed.

He gave me a vulgar gesture. “It’s the best idea I have, so try being grateful. It’s more than I’ve got; I’m stuck here forever.”

I exhaled a hard breath. He was right. If there was a small chance I could get out of Exile, at least that was a chance. Ender didn’t have that. “Because she passed?” I asked carefully.

He jerked his head in an abrupt nod. I didn’t press further. I halted Mort and tried to find the bond Ender insisted existed between me and Cat. I remembered the first time I felt her, like a disturbance in the calm of the afterlife, like chaos and life and defiance in monotony.