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Forty-Five

Rosie

M y face felt gross after the tears stuck to it. I asked for a tissue, but the mean lady told me that I wasn’t allowed to cry and that maybe this would teach me not to do it again.

I didn’t like the house we were in. She kept saying it was home, but it didn’t feel like it. There were no pictures on the walls. No windows to look outside. There wasn’t even a fireplace for Santa to come down. Nothing about it felt like my home.

I missed my mommy. I wanted to see and hug her, but the mean lady got mad whenever I talked about my real mom.

She said she’s my mom now, but that’s not true either.

Just like my mom always told me that no one would ever replace my real dad, I knew that the mean lady was lying and that no one would replace my real mom.

She left me alone in a room and told me to get used to it because it would be my new room. There wasn’t anything in it other than a bed and a toy box that didn’t have any toys. I hated it already.

I sat on the bed and pouted until the door opened.

“Can I come in?”

“No,” I muttered. I didn’t like this girl either. She lied to me about being my friend and needing my help to find her puppy.

She didn’t listen and came in anyway. When she closed the door behind her, I felt scared, but then she smiled, and it didn’t feel as scary anymore.

“You have to be very quiet, okay, Rosie? Julia doesn’t know I’m in here,” she said softly, the way my mom talks to me when she’s trying not to be too loud.

I nodded and watched her sit on the edge of the bed.

“We don’t have much time before they come looking for me, but I wanted to talk to you about something. Okay?”

I nodded again.

“Has your mommy ever taught you what to do if a stranger tried to hurt you?”

This time I was afraid to nod, so I just sat there quietly on the bed.

“Do you know what to do, Rosie?”

I shrugged my shoulders. Mommy had told me lots of stuff, and then Uncle Mike and Roman had taught me how to fight off the bad guys recently, but they said I shouldn’t tell anyone about it.

“If anyone tries to touch you, I want you to do what your mommy told you to do. Okay?”

I chewed my bottom lip and debated on whether I should tell her that I knew how to fight off the bad guys.

“It’s okay,” she continued. “You can tell me whatever you want to. I’m not here to hurt you, Rosie.”

My breath felt funny in my lungs as I tried to talk.

“Uncle Mike and Roman taught me how to fight, but they told me not to tell anyone because Mommy might get mad.” I lowered my head as if I were already in trouble for saying it.

“What did they teach you?”

I leaned forward and showed her some of the punches I had learned.

“Just like that,” I said, getting up and standing in front of her to show her the rest.

“That’s great, Rosie,” she smiled. “I want you to use those moves they taught you, okay? If anyone tries to touch you, you fight them just like your uncles showed you.”

I nodded and felt my cheeks burning from the smile that stretched across them.

“I have to go but promise me that you’ll use what you showed me. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Before she left, I decided to ask her one more question.

“Why did you lie to me about losing your puppy?”

Her face fell into sadness as she thought about it.

“Because it was my job. I was told to do it.” She took a deep breath and then let it out. “I didn’t have a choice.”

“Why didn’t you just say no?”

“They don’t like it when you say no. That’s why I want you to promise me that you’ll fight with everything you have inside of you.”

“Did you have to fight them too?”

“No,” she said quietly as tears formed in her eyes. “No one ever taught me to. My mom wasn’t here to help me, and I didn’t know what to do. That’s how I got stuck here, in this life.”

“Do you think I’ll ever see my mommy again?” I asked, my lip trembling as I started to cry.

“I don’t know. I really hope so.”

She opened the door and left me alone in the room that still didn’t feel like home.