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Thirty-Three

Quinn

I had been restless and fidgety since the alert for the camera went off earlier.

Roman and I watched the video over and over, making sure we didn’t miss anything as a raccoon scampered by, trotting right in front of the door.

While I had hoped to see someone, I knew that we wouldn’t.

That would be too easy, and my life right now was anything but easy.

There wasn’t anything on the video that indicated that someone was out there, but deep down inside, I knew that they were close. I could feel it in my bones.

By three, I still hadn’t been able to fall asleep but was glad that Roman was finally getting some rest. Rosie was tucked into the bed with him on one side and me on the other. Thankfully, it was a king-sized bed, and there was plenty of room without us literally being on top of each other.

His soft snores still filled the room as I stayed awake until five. By then, I was exhausted and felt my eyes start to flutter shut when Rosie rolled over and tugged on my hand.

“Hey, baby girl,” I said, sounding more tired than I wanted to.

“I have to go to the bathroom,” she whispered.

“Okay, let’s go.” I tried to stifle my groan as I rolled off the bed and waited for her to get up. Roman shuffled and turned over, checking to see what was happening.

“She needs the restroom,” I explained quickly, guiding her through the small room with my hand on her lower back. “You can go back to sleep.”

I went with her and waited for her to finish as I leaned against the wall and closed my eyes for a minute. The toilet flushed, then she washed her hands and finished up. I hoped that she was still tired and wanted to go back to bed, but when she sat down on the couch, I knew she was up for the day.

I turned the TV on and set the remote on the coffee table before scampering off to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. A few minutes later, Roman came out of the bedroom, pulling a clean t-shirt over his head, giving me a quick glimpse of his rock-hard abs in the process.

“Hey, I’ve got Rosie. Why don’t you try to get some sleep.”

“I’m fine, but thank you,” I lied, feeling like my body weighed a thousand pounds as I tossed another scoop of coffee into the filter. At this rate, we were going to run out before tomorrow.

“You haven’t slept, Quinn. You need to be alert, and you can’t do that if your body doesn’t have the rest it needs. I’ll make her breakfast, and we can watch a movie together.”

“How do you know if I’ve slept?” I asked with one hand on my hip.

“Because I heard you tossing and turning all night when you weren’t up looking out the window or coming out here to check the cameras.”

I groaned and covered my eyes with my hand.

“I’m so sorry I kept you up. I thought I was being quiet.”

“You were. But I’m a light sleeper and have been trained to be aware of my surroundings at all times—even while I sleep. Now go lay down and rest. I’ll come get you if we need anything.”

I tried to find a reason to fight him on it—mainly because I wasn’t used to anyone taking care of things for me—but I had very little fight left in me. I went to the room and laid down, making sure that the door was open so I could hear if anything happened.

Within minutes of my head hitting the pillow, I was asleep.

Hours later, a loud thud startled me from my sleep, and I jolted out of bed, looking for the source of danger.

It took a moment for my head to clear as I looked frantically around the room, trying to remember where I was.

Then it occurred to me that I was in the cabin, and Roman was supposed to be watching Rosie.

I bolted out of the room into the living room as I quickly looked for her.

The TV was turned off, and there was no sign of them anywhere.

The bathroom door was open, so she wasn’t in there, and the kitchen was empty as well.

I flung open the front door, ready to take off into the woods to find her when I saw them sitting on the bench right outside the door.

My hand flew to my chest as I tried to slow my racing heart. Roman’s eyebrows raised in concern as Rosie’s head tilted to the side in confusion.

“What’s wrong, mommy?”

“I heard a loud thump and couldn’t find you guys.”

“Sorry, we came outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air.”

I nodded, not sure what to say. Part of me was angry that he had taken her outside without asking me, but then I also knew that it was ridiculous to be upset when they weren’t even ten feet away from the door and that he could quickly get her inside safely if someone did come.

“I was feeling sad, so Roman thought it would be fun to come look at the clouds and talk to Daddy.”

My heart skipped a beat as sadness overwhelmed me. I looked at him without saying anything and wondered what they had been talking about.

“When I lost my grandpa, I used to sit outside and watch the clouds. I knew he was in heaven and that only the clouds separated us, so I would pick my favorite cloud and pretend he was sitting on it as I talked to him.”

I smiled and looked down at Rosie, my arms folded over my chest as if to protect my heart from leaping out of my chest.

“Which cloud did you pick?” I asked her.

“That one. It’s small, but it’s shaped like a heart, and I think Daddy would pick that one to tell us that he loves us.”

I nodded, fighting back the tears that threatened to spill over.

“I told Daddy that I was sad because I miss him and that you seem really sad lately too. I know that he can’t come back to see us, but I really wish I could hug him again. Your hugs make me feel better, and I bet Daddy’s would too.”

“His hugs were the best,” I said, squatting beside her and holding her hand.

I knew that she didn’t remember much about her time with him since she was only one year old when he passed.

I tried to tell her stories over the years about Justin and showed her the videos I had of him, but it would never be enough to replace her knowing him and having her own relationship with her father.

“I had a dream about Daddy last night,” she said quietly, lowering her head and eyes away from me.

“You did? What was it about?” I squeezed her hand reassuringly, hoping it would give her the confidence to tell me about it.

She looked up at Roman, and he nodded. I tried to ignore the pang of jealousy that rushed through me that she had chosen to talk to him about it yet seemed so reluctant to talk to me. Since when did she keep things from me?

“Daddy was with the lady who brought me home the other day from the subway. They were hugging each other, and then they... kissed.” She looked up at me with guilt on her face, and it broke my heart.

“Then he left with her, and I kept calling to him, asking him to come back, and he wouldn’t. I was really mad at him.”

I swallowed down the mix of emotions that she had just brought up and tried to focus on how to respond to her.

“I’m sorry, pumpkin. Dreams can be hard to understand sometimes, but I can promise you that Daddy would never walk away from you. You meant everything in the world to him.”

She nodded and wiped a tear from her eye as we heard a clap of thunder far off in the distance. Roman looked up at the sky as the clouds moved with the rush of wind and the blue turned an ominous shade of gray.

“We should get inside before the storm hits,” he said, standing up and gently placing his hand on Rosie’s back to guide her inside.

Once she was inside, he lingered by the door and whispered in my ear, “I wouldn’t worry too much about the dream. We all know how wild our imagination can get.”

I forced a smile but knew there was more to her dream than he knew.