Page 35 of After Paris

Chapter Thirty-Five

Ruby

Tuesday, July 8, 2025

Noon

The drive back to Norfolk was exhausting. Traffic on I-95 jammed up north of Fredericksburg, and by the time I neared Norfolk, I was stopped again by Hampton Roads Bridge–Tunnel traffic. I could barely carry my suitcase up the stairs when I reached my apartment. After dropping my bag and laptop bag by the front door, I crossed my small living room to the bathroom. I stripped and turned on the hot shower. My head pounded, and I felt like I’d caught a bug in Alexandria.

I had more pages of Sylvia’s diary to read but couldn’t focus right now. I plunged under the water and let the heat massage my face. I’m not sure how long I stood there, but when I turned off the tap, I had enough energy to dry off, climb into bed, and text Eric and Jeff: Home again .

When I woke, dawn was breaking. I’d slept for sixteen hours. My head still pounded, and my mouth felt dry. As I sat up, I swung my legs over the side of the bed. Had I just overdone it the last few days? I’d been more active than I’d been since I’d gone into remission. Maybe I was tired.

How many excuses had I made when I first got sick in Paris? Too much wine? Too many tours? The shift in weather? I’d found endless excuses until Scott insisted that I see my doctor. If not for Scott, I’m not sure when I would have asked for help.

I drew in a breath and ran my hand over my spiky hair, sticking up like a bristle brush. I rose and glanced in the gilded mirror resting against the bedroom wall. The woman staring back at me had jagged hair, pale skin, and fading mascara ringing under her eyes. Normally, I would have laughed, but now a rising sense of panic silenced all traces of humor.

With effort, I swung my legs over the side of the bed and returned to the shower. I dampened my hair and rinsed my face this time.

I found sweats and a T-shirt in a bottom drawer, and it took most of my energy to get dressed. I sat on the couch and immediately dozed.

When my phone rang, it took me a second to figure out where the ringing was coming from. Once I found my phone under a pillow, I realized I’d missed a call from Jeff. I’d been napping for two hours.

I stared at the display. Jeff deserved a healthy partner. No matter what he said, he didn’t understand what he could be facing if we stayed together. I called my brother.

“Hey,” he said. “I heard from Jeff that DC was a lot of fun.”

I rolled my head from side to side. “It was.”

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not feeling great,” I said. I ran through all the reasons, but then I quickly added that it could have been nothing.

“Call your doctor. I’ll pick you up in fifteen minutes. He’s going to see you this morning.”

Hearing the concern in my brother’s voice magnified the small doubts I’d been pushing aside. I wanted to believe I’d been overreacting, but his concern suggested I wasn’t. “You’re a bigger worrier than me.”

“Guilty as charged. But I’m still taking you to the doctor.”

“I probably overdid it.” If I stayed positive, the world would be okay, right?

“Probably. I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

“Don’t tell Mom and Dad.”

“Not yet. First, the doctor.”

It took effort to comb my hair, get my purse, and slip on flip-flops. Eric was pulling up when I stepped out onto the sidewalk in front of my apartment building.

I crossed to the passenger-side door, opened it, and dropped into the seat. I pulled on my seat belt but didn’t have the energy to hook it. Eric took it from me and clicked it into place.

“How long have you been feeling like this?” He pulled into traffic.

“I was pretty beat yesterday, but whatever this is didn’t hit me until I got home.” City blocks passed as he angled toward the Beltway. “You haven’t told Mom and Dad, have you?”

“No. Have you told Jeff?” When I didn’t answer, he added, “I talked to him yesterday. He’s fallen head over heels, Ruby.”

“I warned him I’m a hard case,” I said. “You need to tell him I’m too big a risk.”

“He’s been in love with you since your senior year of high school. He won’t listen. All he sees is white picket fences and rainbows when he’s around you.”

“I know. And you’ll help me convince Jeff I’m not the horse to bet on.”

“I’m not going to do that,” Eric said. “You deserve to be happy, Ruby.”

“But it’s not fair to Jeff.”

“It’s not fair to you either. Jeff is a grown man. He can make up his mind.”

I’d have argued if I felt up to it. Instead, I tipped back against the headrest and let the sun warm my face. When we pulled into the parking lot of the Norfolk hospital twenty minutes later, it felt as if I’d barely closed my eyes. Eric parked the car and came around to my side. With care, he walked me toward my doctor’s office. We entered the waiting room and sat down. Five minutes later, the nurse called my name.

“Ruby.” Nurse Becca glanced at my chart. “What’re you doing back here?”

“I’m feeling kind of rough,” I said.

Becca regarded me a beat and then opened the door to an exam room. She quizzed me on my symptoms, and I gave her a recap as Eric listened, his frown growing. “Well, Dr. Mitchell will be right in to see you. Slip on a gown and sit on the table.”

“I know the drill.”

“I know you do,” Becca said.

She closed the door, and Eric turned his back as I wrangled out of my clothes and into the gown. When I’d first gotten sick, I only wanted my mother to help me undress. But somewhere, as I was passing through Cancerland, I’d lost my modesty. So, if I required help from Eric or my dad, I took it.

The paper gown crinkled as I settled on the table. “There’s nothing like a backless paper frock to make a girl feel helpless.”

“I should text Jeff,” Eric said.

“There’s nothing to tell him yet,” I said.

“That’s not the point, Ruby. He’d like to be here.”

“He has a big meeting this morning. Let’s see what the doctor says first, and then I’ll call him with facts, no worries.”

“Okay. But not a second later.”

The door opened to Dr. Mitchell, a man I’d grown to know very well. He was in his late fifties and had salt-and-pepper hair. I’d learned along the way that he was married with three grown children, and he loved to cycle.

“Hey, stranger,” he said. “What’re you doing back here?”

“Hopefully, I’m overreacting.” I recited my symptoms.

“You could have done too much. We talked about you making more time in your days for rest.”

“I know. And I have. Until last week.”

“To be on the safe side, I’m going to run a few tests this morning.”

There was no need to ask how long the tests would require. If lucky, I’d lose a day, maybe two. “Eric, you don’t have to stick around. This crisis is not my first rodeo.”

“No, I’m staying.”

“Don’t,” I said. “I have my phone and plenty of notes to read over from my interviews. I’ll be sitting around.”

“Eric, you’re welcome to stay, but we’ll take good care of her,” Dr. Mitchell said.

I knew this was a crazy time with him at work. “Leave,” I ordered. “I can’t focus on these tests if you’re hovering in a corner.”

“I’d be working too,” he said.

“Leave. Your office is less than a mile away. If I need you, I’ll call.” I smiled, trying to look bright, but I suspected I looked a little crazed.

He drew in a slow breath. “I’ll be back. Dr. Mitchell, when you finish your exam, call me. She isn’t to leave alone.”

Dr. Mitchell nodded. “Understood.”

When Eric left, my smile vanished. “Dr. Mitchell, this sucks.”

“I know, Ruby. We’ll go as easy on you as we can.”

I glanced at my naked arm and the green-blue lines of veins still marred by faint scars from IVs past. “Tell me I picked up a flu bug.”

He laid his hand on my shoulder. “Tests first. Then we talk.”

He left, and Becca returned. I lay back and she placed a ball in my hand. I squeezed.

“I’ll be right back with vials,” Becca said.

“Thanks.” Classical music played over invisible speakers.

My phone rang, and I half expected to see Eric’s number. But it was Robert calling. I sat up, ignoring the dull ache in my head. “Robert.”

“Ruby, I’m sorry to bother you, but I have news.”

“You aren’t bothering me.” My voice sounded soft and small.

“Jason passed away an hour ago. He wanted me to call you.”

Tears welled in my eyes. I closed them, hoping in vain to keep them from spilling. “I knew he was so much sicker, but I had no idea he would go this fast.”

“He didn’t want you to know.”

“I’m so sorry, Robert.”

“I’m glad you had a chance to see him. Your visit made him smile, something he hasn’t done in a long time.” I’d been on the receiving end of so many kind words and well wishes. All were spoken with good intentions. None had inspired me. I wanted to say something that would let Robert know I understood his pain. But all the words rambling in my head sounded meaningless.

“Remember when Jason and I re-created the final scene of Secrets in the Shadows ? He was Guy, and I was Francoise?” We’d performed for the ward. I’d worn a red hat with netting on my bald head, and he’d worn a fedora.

Robert chuckled. “I’ve seen the videos. You both pulled it off until the kiss.”

“We couldn’t stop laughing.”

“Jason and I have played that tape a dozen times. It’ll always be one of my fondest memories of him.”

“Me too.” I drew in a breath. “Text me the funeral information.”

“I will.”

“I love you both.”

“Back at you.”

When I hung up, Becca arrived with her needles. “You okay?”

“Jason passed.”

Her expression tightened. “I’m sorry.”

“Me too.”

Becca was one of the best nurses I’d worked with. She was a goddess when it came to blood draws. That had never meant much to me until I became a human pincushion. I’d developed a knack for spotting the techs and nurses who knew their way around a needle.

After Becca drew my blood, she promised to return soon. Our next stop would be an MRI.

I could have predicted the testing lineup, which always followed a similar pattern. After three hours, I was back in this room, glancing at the clock. It had been several hours since Eric had left.

The last few days had given me a taste of living life again, and I found this current limbo irritating. I didn’t want to be here. I didn’t want to deal with this again. Once was enough in a lifetime.

But as Jason had once said, bad luck didn’t come in threes. It came as often as it damn well wanted to. When the door opened, I expected to see Eric with a milkshake, my favorite after-treatment treat.

Instead, Jeff entered the room, looking harried and worried. He wore the Star Trek T-shirt he’d bought at Comic-Con about fifteen years ago, faded jeans, and flip-flops. This was the Jeff I knew and loved.

I sat straighter, aware I wasn’t wearing makeup and that my hair was now half-flattened and half-spiked. “Hey.”

He crossed the room and kissed me. “What’s the deal? Did you start the party without me?”

“Eric called you.”

“A few hours ago. I was on I-64 and stuck in traffic or would have been here sooner.”

Worry etched lines on his smooth face. “I told Eric not to call until the test results were back. This is a party no one wants to attend.” Having him here eased my anxiety and made me feel less alone and scared.

“I’d be mad if he hadn’t called.” Jeff looked exasperated. “I told you I was in it for the duration.”

I clasped his hand in mine. “Jeff, I love you for caring, but places like this will be a part of my life forever. That’s why I’m going to find you someone else.”

Before he could answer, Dr. Mitchell entered the room, my file in hand.