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Calvin is holding me tight, crying, calling my name over and over. He holds me as Dina’s mom ushers Casey’s father outside, telling him in a quiet voice that our family has had enough grief by now and if the harassment continues, she’ll have him arrested.

Calvin continues holding me as Mom turns to Detective Weston. “She’s here, Peg. Can you see her?”

Detective Weston shakes her head. “I can’t. But I’m so glad you can. You’ve missed her so much.”

“I’ve missed her so much that I couldn’t let myself remember her because I thought it would be too painful, but she is here and I love her. I love my girl so much!”

Mom starts to cry.

“I know,”

Detective Weston says, crying now, too. “I love my girl so much. Every single day that love keeps me going, too. That love never dies. It lives in us forever.”

My mom and Dina’s mom hold each other, pulling Melissa into the embrace. I’m right there but Detective Weston doesn’t see me. Just like Casey and her dad didn’t see me. Because they didn’t need to see me.

I’m back, and I’m not.

I died and yet I stayed alive.

I’m here and I’m leaving.

I turn Calvin away from me. I push him toward my family. My family has so much love. When I left, my parents didn’t know what to do with it all. It curdled. But love needs to be spent, lavished, not squandered.

My father grips Calvin again. “We see her,”

he says to Calvin. “We see her, too.”

And then they’re all crying again, hugging each other, in grief and in joy and in togetherness. I stand to the side. I hear my father say to Calvin, “I’m so sorry we never did that fishing trip. Summer’s coming. Maybe we should make a plan.”

Calvin wipes his eyes. “I’d like that, sir.”

Detective Weston puts her arm around Calvin and leads him out of the house, murmuring something into his ear. He slumps into her and I get the feeling that Calvin is going to be all right. That my whole family is going to be all right.