Page 49

Fridays are usually my good days at work. I'm typically focused because I know that I'm a few hours away from the weekend. But this Friday is different, and I'm super off my A-game. It's like my first day all over again. I messed up three different orders, left a bagel toasting in the oven for way too long, and knocked into Wendy, which caused me to drop the pastries and cappuccinos that I was on my way to serve.

All because of him. Nico. The boy who commands my every thought despite the countless times that I try to erase him from my mind. I try and I try and I try to turn my brain off when it comes to him, but it doesn't matter, because it's not just my brain that's affected by him. It's my heart, too. And how does one turn that off?

Walking away from him last night after he dropped me home was hard. I felt like there was so much that he wanted to say, but didn't, and I let it slide. When he said "goodnight", I said it back, but followed it with nothing else.

I know that I'm going to see him tomorrow night at his parent's anniversary party, but that doesn't count because Nico in that kind of setting isn't my Nico. He isn't the Nico that I know. Instead, he's detached, unapproachable, and distant. And I hate every second of seeing him like that.

At the same time, though, being in that kind of setting with Nico does make me want to look as beautiful as possible. Given my very limited resources, that's hard to do, but I believe that the dress, the makeup, the accessories...it just makes up the exterior of a person, and Nico doesn't care about that. He never did. Especially, not with me.

I hate myself for even thinking this because my heart right now should belong completely to Danny. But, I'd be lying if I said that it did.

Remi's letting me borrow this long fuschia-colored dress that she wore to her cousin's wedding last year. The dress has a floral embroidered skirt, and while it's not too over-the-top, it is more regal than anything that I've ever owned. In terms of jewelry, well...I'm not wearing much. Grandma Ruby is letting me borrow these silver drop earrings that she bought recently. They're not real, but they sparkle like they are.

That's why, when I'm finally done with work, I run to Milly's. I remember spotting a gorgeous pair of metallic open-toe heels that were on-sale when I was there looking for a dress to wear to the Summer Dance.

Once I'm at the store, I don't spot the shoes on the floor, but one of the sales ladies - the same one who helped me a few weeks back with the dress - informs me that they might have my size in the back.

"B?" a voice calls out from behind me as I wait.

"Brooks," I say once I turn around. "What are you doing here?"

I walk over to him for a hug, and once we pull away, he lifts his clear round sunglasses, showcasing his model-like face.

"I'm picking up my mom's dress for tomorrow night. Nico said you're coming."

"Yeah, I'll be there."

"Good. We both know he's going to need us."

Before I can say anything, the sales lady walks back with the shoes dangling from her grip. "Today is your lucky day. I was able to find your size." She nods her head to the cushioned sofa. "Want to try them on over there?"

"Great, and yes," I say.

"B, I'll be right back. Just going to see about my mom's dress," Brooks interrupts.

"No problem," I tell him, following the lady to the sofa.

I strap the heel on and then stand up, walking back and forth in them to assess my comfort level.

They fit like a glove.

Then, I walk over to the standing mirror.

"They look fabulous on you," the sales lady tells me.

"I love them!" I tell her as I continue to angle the shoes in the mirror. "I'll take them."

"Great. And they're on sale," she tells me like I didn't know that already. "So, they're only $100."

Only $100. Right. Because that's pennies, I sarcastically think to myself.

I walk over to the register, where Brooks is standing, talking to the other sales lady. I hand the one who was helping me $100, which happens to be my entire paycheck from last week.

"Oh, and I wanted to ask you," the sales lady says as she finishes ringing me up, "will you be purchasing the gown that you tried on the other week? You know, the gold one."

I wish that she didn't ask me that in front of Brooks. "Oh, no. I won't be needing it after all."

"Oh, no. Why? Did you find something else?"

I know Brooks is trying to mind his own business, but that's hard to do when the lady is practically yelling.

"Um, no," I say, deciding to go with the truth, despite my embarrassment. "It's out of my budget, actually."

I feel Brooks' eyes on me, but I keep my stance facing the sales lady. I don't come from money, he knows that, it's nothing new. But that doesn't mean that I don't wish that I did sometimes. Brooks and Nico never made me feel differently because my family didn't have as much money as theirs did, but that didn't change the fact that I felt different.

After I pay for my shoes, and Brooks collects his mom's dress from the sales lady, we walk back to his matte Range Rover so that he can hang his mom's outfit in the backseat.

"How are you getting home, B?" he asks me once he closes the car door.

"I actually rode my bike to work today. It's over there," I tell him, nodding my head at the bike rack.

"And what about the shoes? You can't hold them and bike at the same time."

"It's called a basket, Brooks."

He frowns at me. "It's called, you're riding home with me B."

"Brooks, it's fine. I can manage."

"That's great. You're still riding with me, though. We can put the bike in the trunk."

Brooks and Nico are so different, yet so similar at the same time. Despite the fact that they can be super stubborn, they're also super caring, always putting me first.

I sigh, giving in. "Fine."

We make our way inside the car and the radio loudly goes off the second that Brooks starts the ignition.

"Can we turn this down a couple of notches?" I ask him.

"Hey," he catches my hand before it can touch the dial, "this is the best part of the song."

"Brooks, how many times have you listened to White Iverson? Like a thousand?"

"Why are you no fun?"

"I'm lots of fun, thank you very much."

"That mean we're going hard tomorrow night? I want to see you actually take a shot of tequila."

I roll my eyes at him. "Grow up!"

"Chicken shit," he teases me. "In all seriousness, though. Have you spoken to Nico about it?"

I turn my face away from the window and towards him. "I tried. Seems like he doesn't want to." I mumble under my breath, "what else is new?"

"He hates these things," Brooks adds on.

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"Can't blame him, though. Can you? His dad's a piece of shit. Never liked the guy."

"No, I don't blame Nico. I feel bad for him. That's why I wish he would actually talk to me about how he's feeling instead of pushing me away."

"That's Nico for you, B. You know that. He doesn't like anyone else taking responsibility for his own issues."

"Yeah, but they're not even his own issues. He didn't bring this upon himself."

Brooks exhales loudly, keeping one hand on the steering wheel as the other remains by his side. "I know. I wish his mom would do more. She means well, I just don't think she knows how to go about her situation."

"You think she would ever go through with the divorce?" I only mention it to Brooks because Nico told me he had told Brooks that his mom was contemplating it.

"No. At the end of the day, anything that has the ability to make a dent in the Bradford image is an absolute no-no to Gillian. I know that Nico tried multiple times to convince her to go through with it, but eventually stopped. It gets repetitive at a certain point. Trying to ask someone you love for some sort of help, but not getting anything in return."

"Poor, Nico," I say. "I wish there was something we could do."

"Just continue to do what you're doing, B. Your love for him is one of his biggest values."

I smirk at Brooks' comment. Hearing that means the world to me.

"I'm not going anywhere," I say.