Page 13
Story: Across the Pond
To answer Nico's question: I don't drink. But with the jealous look he's giving me right now, I'm tempted to lie. I'm even tempted to take another shot.
The irony is...he's in no position to be jealous - he's the one standing across from me holding hands with Cara. She's prettier in person, too. But does she really need to be decked out in a tight, strapless mini dress and peep-toe heels? We're at a house party, for crying out loud.
I'm trying my hardest to peel my eyes away from their interlaced hands, but how can I? The feeling stings.
I just don't understand. I waited for him. Even when he didn't know it. Even when we'd fight as kids and he thought I hated him, I was there. Waiting.
The reality is, though, he never came to me the way that I wanted him to, no matter how much I hoped he would.
I guess I can't keep waiting anymore. I can't keep watching him choose someone else who isn't me over and over again.
So, it's time that I love him from a distance. A very far distance. Because I don't trust myself when he's near. One look at him and I'll go back to waiting.
"Bella?" Nico asks, shaking his head and waiting for my response. But I continue to stand there silently.
"Calm down, Nic, it's just a shot," Brooks says when I don't answer.
Nico doesn't say anything, and the moment of silence between us four is starting to make me feel uncomfortable, so I decide to break it.
"You must be Cara," I say, walking up to her with my hand out. "I'm Bella."
"Right, Bella," she says in a high-pitched tone. "I've heard so much about you."
I wish I could say the same about you, I think in my head.
"We were just about to take another shot. Want to join us?"
"No," Nico says at the same time that Cara says, "we'd love to!"
"You heard the girl, Nico. Better do what she says." I reach for the Don Julio, but Nico stops me with his hand. He's looking at me like he's trying to figure me out. To be honest, I'm trying to figure me out, too. I know that I'm acting differently, but that's what seeing Nico with another girl does to me.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" he asks me.
"Sure. What's up?" I keep my tone casual.
"Outside."
I pause for a few seconds and catch everyone around us staring. "Fine," I say.
"We'll be right back," Nico tells Cara and Brooks. Brooks isn't paying attention because he's too busy chatting up the girl next to him, but Cara looks uneasy.
Nico places his hand on my back, and I can't ignore the sensation that my body feels. I almost want to tell him to let go just because his touch is overwhelming, but I can't do it.
We end up in a corner on the patio, and I turn around to face him.
"What?" I ask.
"What do you mean 'what?'" he asks me like he can't believe I just asked the question.
"What do you want to talk about?"
"What's going on with you?"
I chuckle. "That's what you wanted to talk to me about?" I don't give him a chance to respond. Instead, I cross my arms and begin to walk away.
"Hey," he grabs my arm gently. "Seriously, what's up your ass? You've been weird ever since Melly's. Barely answering my texts, giving me shade for no reason. Did I do something?"
"No," I say.
"Then what's up? Talk to me."
What always scared me about my relationship with Nico is how well he reads me. How well he knows me. Better than I know myself sometimes. I could stand here and lie to him, but it wouldn't matter. He'd see right through me.
"About what?" I laugh out of nervousness.
"What's on your mind? What's bugging you? Just say it, BC."
"There's nothing to say," I assertively state.
"You're lying," he responds in the same assertive tone. But I won't crack...I can't. It won't change anything. And what would I even say? 'Forget her and choose me'?
I won't.
So, I choose to avoid his interrogation. "Cara's waiting for you," are the words that leave my mouth, and this time - when I walk away - he doesn't stop me.
When I turn my head slightly, I'm disappointed to discover that he's not trailing behind me. I don't know why, but I expected him to follow me.
I make it back to the other room and Brooks is right where we left him. Cara, on the other hand, is talking to Remi. Remi sees me approaching, so I give her a confused look, but she subtly shrugs her shoulders.
I know that I don't have a right to be rude. I don't have a right to be mad. Cara, Nico - they both don't owe me anything. So, for the next 2 hours, I'm going to change my attitude. It's the only way that I'm going to make it through this night.
"Sorry about that, Cara," I tell her, but I don't think she was expecting any sort of apology from me.
"No, I get it," Cara waves her hand down and says. "I know you and Nico go way back. He made it seem as though you're like a sister to him."
Like a sister to him...great.
"Yeah," I say, chewing on my lip.
"Speaking of Nico, I should probably go find him. I'll see you guys later."
"Bye," Remi smiles with a wave. The second that Cara walks away, she turns to me. "You good?"
I let out a deep breath. "I don't know."
"Hey," she reaches for my arm. "I know that this is tough, but let's try and have a good night. This is the start of our summer - let's set a good precedent."
Remi's right. I've been looking forward to these next two months, and moping around is just going to ruin that. I have a lot to be excited about - spending time with Grandma Ruby, my new job - and I should focus my energy on that.
"You're right," I nod my head and say. "Let's try this again."
Table of Contents
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- Page 13 (Reading here)
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