Hazards of Being a Banshee:
Accidentally Engaged
I ’m going to kill Alban. It’s a good thing he’s in Vermont, or he’d be sprouting beets out of his eyebrows or turnips out of his nose. He rented an apartment to a sensitive and didn't tell me!
Telling myself that Alban probably didn’t know doesn’t soothe my rage.
I let out a shaky breath as I close the window and wipe my potting soil-covered hands on my jean skirt. I could have killed my neighbor.
For those of you who didn’t grow up in a paranormally conversant household, a sensitive is someone human who can sometimes sense the otherworldly.
For months, I’d had Jared pegged as a perfectly ordinary (if kind of cute) human guy.
His little comment about “Why are you green now?” tells me he thought the same thing.
Sometimes, a very powerful event—like a banshee’s betrothal song, can awaken a latent awareness and bring it to the front.
Which brings me to the front—the front door of Jared’s apartment, that is.
Jared flings the door open, a vacuum cleaner in hand. “Sorry,” he says breathlessly, “I didn’t want you to think you were marrying a slob. I spilled popcorn when I... When I heard you singing? Were you singing to me?”
“Not on purpose. At least you’re not in a coma.” A regular human would have been in a coma. Or dead. Or insane. I’m going to ignore that little remark about marrying a slob. “Don’t worry. Whatever you’re experiencing will go away soon.”
“Oh. It will?” Jared’s bearded face falls into a frown, underscoring the deep, crestfallen sadness in his eyes. “Why?”
“Because I didn’t know you were home!”
Now confusion adds itself to the heartbreaking mix of emotions on his face.
Dear God, why is he even cuter up close? My thighs do a fully unexpected and completely illegal clench when I think about how his big arms could wrap me up and cradle me like a kitten on his wide, slightly protruding middle.
The way I can suddenly imagine his bulk smothering me as he gently kisses my face has me on the verge of purring like a kitten, too.
“I wasn’t planning to be home. Some of my colleagues pranked me.
Or maybe it was just bad timing. I don’t know.
I thought I was going on a research trip with the college department I work for, and no one told me I wasn’t until I paid for long-term parking,” Jared says with a hint of bitterness.
“But it’s okay.” His face breaks into a sunny smile that warms my soul.
“If I had gone with them, I wouldn’t have heard you singing. ”
“Um. Uh.” I swallow a lump of heat in my throat. “You weren’t supposed to hear me singing,” I whisper. “I’m a... Can I come in?”
“Of course, of course!” Jared opens the door wide and ushers me in.
“Let me put some lights on. I’m a creature of habit, but tonight, I was pretty steamed.
I thought, screw it, I’m staying up late, eating some popcorn, and watching something to cheer me up.
Then I fell asleep, and when I woke up.. .”
Jared’s face lights up in awe, his eyes shining with joy and magic, like when a child sees the ocean for the first time or the first time a hummingbird holds still, and you realize how stunning the little blurs really are, like jewels come to life.
I feel like the monster some people claim I am for crushing it, stealing that sparkle. “I’m sorry, but that song wasn’t meant for you.”
“Oh. There’s someone else?”
“No! No, there’s no one else. No one at all.” Seriously, no one at all. “But you’re what we call a sensitive. A person who is sometimes aware of magic and magical creatures. Like me.”
“Like you?”
“A banshee.” I wait, holding my breath, waiting for the disbelief, the mocking, the fear... Something. Anything.
Anything but calm realization and a hearty sigh. “Oh, thank God. I’m not going crazy. You’re just a different species.”
“What?!” I screech.
“An undiscovered or cryptid species. You’re scientifically possible, just previously undocumented. Don’t worry, I won’t be documenting this. We’d both end up in confinement—me in a padded cell and you in some lab.” He reaches for my hands and squeezes.
Waves of comfort roll over me at his touch. He’s so warm. His hands wrap securely around mine, and the instant knowledge that I would be safe with this person embeds itself in my brain.
Which is really inconvenient because I want it to leave.
It has to leave. I have to leave. “Thank you. I don’t know if anyone would believe you.
Most humans can’t see things that are right in front of them, and even sensitives can only see certain things at certain times,” I point out.
“You heard my song. Did it... Did it mean anything?”
The huge figure sways and pivots, his hands still grasping mine. “You said I’m your love. Your betrothed. That means we’re engaged, right?”
“Yes, but don’t worry. I’m not a full banshee or a full fae.
I’m able to make bargains, but they’re not entirely binding.
All you have to do is say you don’t want to marry me, reject the offer, and this is all a bad dream.
We’ll never mention it again.” I give Jared my biggest winning smile and wait.
“But I don’t want to say no. I want to get to know you and marry you. You’re my soulmate.”
“I’m not. That’s just the magic talking.”
“Oh, believe me, I’ve been married before. I know what I’m looking for—and it’s this. It’s you. This feeling of immediate peace and joy. Of being found.”
I bite my lip and swallow. “Yeah,” I murmur with a shaking voice. “That’s how it feels. But it’s not real.”
“Why not? How do you know?”
“I—”
I don’t know. I’ve never gotten myself into this particular mess before. “Look, you have to say you reject me.”
“I don’t want to do that! I love you!”
“No, you don’t!”
“I might! You don’t know,” Jared counters, an obstinate look in his eye as he defiantly raises his chin.
“I know that a banshee’s betrothal only has two endings, buddy, death or denial. Deny my offer!” I hiss, magic pumping into my voice, my hair floating up, and my eyes turning into shining emerald flints.
Most men would be terrified. I look positively evil right now.
But Jared just smiles, and that little-kid-lost-in-wonder expression cements itself on his face. “You’re so powerful, aren’t you? Wow. My wife is a superhero.”
“Argh!” I let out a single piercing yell that should send him to his knees.
He just smiles and gently releases one of my hands so he can pat the other. “It’s okay. We don’t have to rush.”
“I’m not your wife!” I spit.
“I meant my future wife. Sorry, honey.”
“Oh... Oh, why are you so nice?” I wail, and my magic poofs away like dandelion fluff in a windstorm.
“Just who I am, I guess.” He shrugs. A trace of worry crosses his face, a handsome face with a bit of extra padding and a soft brown beard that reminds me of my childhood teddy bear. All of him reminds me of a teddy bear.
A big, gentle bear that might show me his strength once he knows it’s safe...
I have to stop thinking like that in case he picks up on that, too.
“You said death or denial. If I don’t call this off, what happens? Do I die?”
“No, you don’t die,” I sigh, crossing my arms.
“Death, denial, or... Is there a third option?”
“Yes.”
“What’s the third option?”
“Marriage.” I glare.
“Ooh. I pick that one.”
“I don’t.”
It’s his turn to look stern. He crosses his arms.
Big, burly arms.
Arghhh, I need a man—but not this one!
Why not this one? A nagging little voice whines, and I tell it to leave me alone.
“So, refuse me, then,” he challenges.
“Okay, I—” I can’t do anything. I offered. He accepted. By fae laws, this engagement is binding.
A slow smile crosses his face. “Once you make the offer, you can’t take it back, can you? Is it a banshee thing?”
“Yes,” I seethe.
He smiles. “Then I accept.”
Out of nowhere, a slithering green mist swirls and turns gold, wrapping my body to his, lifting me up a few inches so I’m at eye level with my new husband-to-be. It feels like the best kind of magic is flowing directly into my soul, and I don’t want to fight it.
The green fades completely, leaving nothing but a golden swirl that holds us together before dropping us in a heap on the carpet.
The golden hue means the spell rings true; that’s what my mother always taught me.
“You okay?” Jared asks, reaching for my shoulder and helping me sit up.
“Not exactly,” I groan, flopping back with my eyes closed.
I don’t believe this. We’re accidentally engaged.