Page 27 of About that Fling (The Can’t Have Hearts Club #2)

“Well, not during sex.” Mia made a face. “I mean the sex stops so he can answer the phone. He’s not pumping away while they chat about curfews and college plans.”

Jenna grimaced as she shoved a serving spoon into the fruit bowl, then took a seat between Mia and Gert. “Have you talked with him about how it bothers you?”

“I tried.” Mia bit her lip and reached out to take a biscuit. “He said he feels guilty.”

“Guilty?” Jenna watched her friend’s face, remembering Adam’s words. Had more than one marriage been wrecked by the affair? Did it matter at this point? It’s not like Mia owed her a detailed explanation or justification for her every action.

“About not being married to Katie’s mother anymore,” Mia said. “About breaking up the family when he chose to leave. About a lot of things, I guess. ‘Daddy guilt.’ That’s what one of the books I read called it.”

Jenna grabbed a biscuit and split it open, breathing the doughy fragrance of buttermilk. “How long had they been divorced when you and Mark got together?”

Mia bit her lip as she opened her own biscuit. “They’d been divorced a year or so. I know Ellen hoped they’d get back together, but Mark wasn’t interested.”

Gert pushed the bowl of gravy across the table, nudging the ladle toward Mia. “These things are always hard. It doesn’t really matter who did what to whom on which timeline. The point is that you’re all where you are right now, and you have to find a way to work together to move forward.”

Jenna nodded and watched Mia slather her biscuit with gravy. She passed the bowl along to Gert, while Jenna loaded her plate with fruit.

“You’re right, I know,” Mia muttered. “But sometimes I try to think about it from Ellen’s perspective. How would I feel if someone just moved in and took over my husband and my life?”

Gert helped herself to a biscuit. “Has your ex-husband remarried?”

Jenna gripped her glass of orange juice, but didn’t raise it to her lips. The guilt felt like a lead weight pressing down on her chest, smothering her with its bulk.

“No.” Mia nibbled her lip. “Honestly, I don’t know how I’d feel about it if he did. I know that’s horrible and selfish and petty and stupid, especially since I was the one who left.”

Gert patted Mia’s hand, oblivious to the fact that Jenna had gone tense enough to generate electrical currents. “You’re entitled to your feelings, dear.”

Mia shook her head. “It’s not that I’m possessive of him.

Adam, I mean. That’s not it at all. It’s that I wanted so badly for so long for him to make these changes for me.

To stop working late hours, to do a better job communicating with me, to try new things and be more spontaneous.

” Her voice started to wobble, and Jenna watched her friend take a deep breath.

“What does it say if he’s willing to do all that for someone else, but not me? ”

Her voice broke on the last word, and Jenna’s heart broke with it. She picked up her orange juice, gulping it down as she prayed no one noticed her hands shaking. She set the glass down and tried to come up with something comforting to say. “I’m sorry, Mia. That sounds painful.”

“It is.” Mia looked down at her plate. “And then I think I deserve the pain because?—”

“Sweetheart, no.” Gert reached over the table and touched Mia’s arm. “Nobody deserves pain for any reason. The changes your ex-husband made, they’re not about you. Maybe he wanted to change for himself .”

“You’re right, you’re right.” Mia sighed and took a bite of biscuit. “I can know that rationally, but it still doesn’t make it any easier to sit with the feelings.” She shook her head and gave a funny little laugh. “Listen to me, I sound like our marriage counselor.”

“You’re seeing a marriage counselor?” Jenna asked. “I didn’t realize things had gotten to that point.”

“I know, lame, right? We’ve only been married a couple weeks and we’re already in counseling.

” She shrugged and took another bite of biscuit.

“I guess it’s more of a preemptive thing.

We’ve both been through counseling in the past when it was way too late to do any good.

We’re trying to get a handle on problems now before things escalate. ”

Jenna nodded, thinking about what Adam told her about marriage counseling being about saying hello or saying goodbye. She hoped for Mia’s sake they were saying hello.

“I ran into Shawn the other night,” Jenna blurted, hoping the subject change wasn’t too abrupt. “Speaking of exes.”

“Wow, it’s been a while, huh?” Mia took a sip of orange juice. “How was it?”

“Weird. Awkward. But it felt good to catch up.”

Mia nodded, eyeing her closely, and Jenna felt a flicker of fear she could see right through her. “You didn’t sleep with him, did you?” Mia asked. “There’s something a little glowy about you this morning.”

“Glowy?” Jenna swallowed and shook her head. “No. Definitely not. Though I guess the thought crossed my mind.”

“No kidding? What stopped you?”

Jenna shrugged, already regretting her choice in subject change. “I just wasn’t feeling it.”

Gert nodded knowingly beside her. “Shawn certainly must have been feeling something. He called our landline twice this morning.”

Jenna bit her lip. “Thanks for telling him I wasn’t here.”

“My pleasure, dear. You’re entitled to your feelings.”

“Or lack of feelings, as the case may be,” Mia said, stabbing another bite of biscuit. A blob of gravy dripped from her fork, and Mia jumped back in her chair.

“Dammit,” she said, plucking at the front of her shirt. “Would you look at that? I got gravy on my shirt. I swear these pregnancy boobs have screwed up my whole sense of where my body stops and starts.”

Jenna reached for the saltshaker. “Try this?”

Mia laughed and shook her head. “That’s just for wine, not grease. Though I’m glad to see my ex managed to teach you something.”

Jenna felt her face grow warm, and she set the shaker down. Gert stood up. “Let me grab the stain stick for you, dear.”

“Sit down, Aunt Gertie,” Mia said, lurching out of her chair. “You’ve done enough already. You’ve been on your feet all morning fixing this amazing breakfast. Just tell me where to find it and I’ll grab the stain stick.”

“Let me,” Jenna said, but Mia was already halfway down the hall.

“It’s in the laundry room in the basket next to the dryer,” Gertie called. “Just bring it back out here and I’ll help you work it into the stain.”

Mia disappeared around the corner, and Jenna turned to Aunt Gertie with a grimace. “You think she’s doing okay?”

Gertie shook her head. “Pregnancy hormones can really take a toll on a woman. I can’t say for myself, but I remember when your mother was pregnant with you, those last few months were especially hard.”

Jenna swallowed and tried not to let her brain go there. She’d never told Gert about her own miscarriage. About the reason she and Shawn had split up or how everything fell apart?—

“Hey, ladies?”

Mia’s voice echoed from the other end of the house, breaking Jenna’s train of thought. “Can’t find the stain stick?” Jenna called back, rising to her feet to aid her friend.

“No, it’s not that. Just wondering where this sweatshirt came from.”

“Sweatshirt?” Jenna called back, her arms prickling with an unease she couldn’t explain.

“Cornell University Law School. Not the most common school in the world.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, and it’s kinda weird. That’s my ex-husband’s alma mater.”

Jenna closed her eyes and wished for the ground to swallow her up.