Page 54 of A Winter Redemption

But he couldn’t do that. Not yet. Before he could leave, he needed Jarne to understand.

“I told you I grew up in an orphanage,” Ketho said, staring at the fire. “I told you I ran away with my brother and we lived on the streets. But that’s only part of the story.”

The room spun. He sat on the bed. Fuck, he needed to leave. But he owed Jarne this. He owed him the truth. He leaned forward, gripping his hair.

“I told you we begged. I told you I pickpocketed and didn’t want to.” Ketho stared at his feet. “I’d been scared. But my brother said I was half-nymph so I was light-footed and could see in the dark. He said I should be good at it. He wasn’t wrong.”

Silence stretched between them. He didn’t want to go on. But he needed to get this out. He had to tell Jarne the truth.

“He never forced me. But I didn’t say no to him. I never could. I did it. Whatever he asked, I did.” He swallowed, throat suddenly dry. “I told him I didn’t want to, but he always convinced me. Because he was my older brother and I loved him. And so no matter how scared I was, I did what he asked.

“And if it had just been pickpocketing, maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad,” Ketho said. “But then my brother made friends. Older children whose opinions he valued more than mine.” Ketho closed his eyes. “He bragged to them about how good I was at picking pockets. They burgled houses. He told them I’d be good at that too, since I could scale walls. My brother didn’t care how I felt.

“So I robbed houses.” Ketho forced the words out. He’d never spoken of this. And he hated doing it now. He didn’t want these memories, and he didn’t want to have to speak these words aloud. “I didn’t want to, but once again my brother convinced me. And once again I couldn’t say no. But I kept getting sicker. I begged him to leave Bordertown. He said we needed money first.

“But he had no plan to leave. He just kept telling me we needed a little more money. Just one or two more houses. Just one or two more houses. Then we’d leave.” His voice choked. “But he didn’t care about me. He just wanted me to keep stealing for him so he could share the money with his friends and buy drinks. He wanted to be the big man. That mattered more than my life.”

Ketho’s hands tightened on his knees. “I could have left. But instead, I just kept stealing and doing what he asked. Because I loved him. And if everything continued as it had, I probably would have kept stealing until I died of nymph sickness. Because I loved him. I doubt I would have ever left him on my own.”

“What happened?” Jarne asked.

“I got caught,” Ketho said. “Then sentenced to three months hard labour.”

“And your brother?”

Ketho shrugged. “He bolted. My last sight of him was his feet slapping on the cobblestones as he ran away.” Ketho took a breath and forced himself to meet Jarne’s eyes. “I’m not going to be held like that again. I’m not going to care for someone and give them the power to manipulate and use me. I won’t. I’m sorry. But I can’t.”

Jarne didn’t speak, his eyes sad.

That was it. Ketho had said what he’d needed to say. He grabbed his rucksack and collected his things, movements slow and unsteady. He needed to leave. He needed to get away. Now.

“We should talk about this.” Jarne reached his hand out towards Ketho. “Please.”

Ketho stepped back. “No.” Ketho shook his head. “No. I can’t. I’m sorry. I have to go.”

“But—”

Ketho didn’t listen. He left the room, trying to ignore the pain on Jarne’s face.

ChapterThirty-Two

Sitting on the cave floor, Ketho gazed into the crackling fire. A fish on a stick sizzled, its juices dripping into the dancing red-and-gold flames. Grey plumes of smoke rose from the fire.

The smoke caught on the cave ceiling, lingering above Ketho. He heard the voices of oreads outside the cave. He’d avoided the oreads since he’d returned to the valley a couple of days ago. Ketho had no interest in talking to anyone. They seemed to give him space as if sensing his dark mood and desire to be alone.

He turned the fish and shoved the stick end into a pile of stones.

I couldn’t stay with Jarne. Even if I wanted to, I just couldn’t.

He closed his eyes and sagged forward. He couldn’t give someone power over him. Never again. He’d already seen himself bend over the past few weeks for Jarne. Developing feelings and wanting to be around Jarne more than he should.

After several minutes, he picked up the fish. He didn’t have an appetite. Not since he’d left Ores. How could he eat when Jarne’s hurt expression burned in his mind? He put it down.

“I’m surprised to see you here.”

Ketho turned slowly to the cave entrance.

Sero leaned down, peering in. “I’d expected you to be much further from Ores by now.”