Page 50 of A Winter Courtship

“Did you think I wouldn’t?” Lutoth asked, not hiding the hurt from his voice. “I’ve barely been gone a day!”

His father froze, his smile dropping. “I just thought…”

“You just thought I wouldn’t come back,” Lutoth finished the sentence for him. “That I’d abandon you without saying a word.”

“I’m sorry, Lutoth,” his father said, face crumpling.

Lutoth took a breath, trying to calm himself. “I know Mother hurt you when she left you, but I am not her. I never chose to leave. Don’t punish me for her actions,” Lutoth said. “I can’t promise I’ll live here forever. But I’m not going to just leave and not come back. I promise I’ll always say goodbye and tell you where I’m going. And I’ll always come back.”

Lutoth reached out and placed his hands on his father’s arms, squeezing. “You’re my father, and I love you. I regret that I didn’t spend much time with you growing up. I’m not going to waste the chance now.”

“I’m so sorry, Lutoth. And I love you too, son.” His father smiled, tears glistening in his eyes. “I’ve been so happy having you here this past year. I’m just so scared of losing you again.” His father hugged him.

“You won’t,” Lutoth said. “Promise.”

After several moments, his father pulled back from the hug. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?” Lutoth had barely stopped moving since he’d left Ulrich’s the previous day. His body felt heavy with exhaustion, not just of the body but of the heart as well. He just wanted to crawl into his father’s cave, lie down, and wallow over his wounded soul.

“Ulrich was here,” his father said.

Lutoth’s heart squeezed at the sound of the man’s name. “What did he want?”

“To apologise.” His father led him into his cave by the elbow, nudging him to sit on the mat. “Said that he was sorry for how he acted and for what he said. Said you deserved better and that he doesn’t want to lose you.”

Lutoth took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

“What happened?” his father asked and sat opposite him.

“His father came to the smithy yesterday. Ulrich…yanked away from my touch.” Lutoth’s voice shook, the wound still fresh. “He told his father I was just a friend. And then told me not to fly with the wind…like Mother.”

“I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that,” his father said. “From him or me.”

“I don’t know what to do now.” Lutoth’s heart still beat for Ulrich, but after what had happened…

His father hesitated. “He sounded angry with me, if that helps.”

“Why was he angry with you?” Lutoth asked. “And why would that help?”

“When I suggested you just left, he told me you’d left him because of what he’d done. Said it was his fault. Made it very clear it wasn’t yours. And he seemed certain you’d come back to me. Far more certain than I was,” he said, shame creeping into his voice.

“You’re defending him,” Lutoth said.

“Just telling you what happened. You deserve to know what happened.” His father smiled. “And I’ve seen the two of you together. I’ve seen how happy you are. He made a mistake. But everyone does. Obviously, I did.”

Lutoth opened his mouth, but his father jumped in. “And you have every right to be angry with him. I’m not saying you should forgive him. Only you can decide that. But maybe at least listen to him. Then you can decide what you want to do.”

“Maybe.” But Lutoth already knew he would go to Ulrich. He wanted to hear what the man had to say.

Then he’d decide if he believed there was any chance for them.

ChapterThirty-Three

Ulrich trudged back to his cabin. Whilst he didn’t enjoy being in his father’s home, the idea of being back in his cabin had no appeal either. The absence of Lutoth’s presence. The empty bed. The smell of Lutoth on his sheets.

Despite his exhaustion, he doubted he’d sleep tonight.

“Happy Solstice Eve, Ethel,” he said. “I guess it’s just you and me tomorrow.”