Page 44 of A Winter Courtship
“I made a mistake. I fucked up. So he left.” He rubbed at sore eyes.
She didn’t budge. After a moment, Ethel pressed her nose against the door, indicating she wanted to go out.
Ulrich sat up, throwing the blankets back. There was no point in going out. Lutoth wouldn’t be there. Still, Ulrich lit a lantern, dressed, opened the door, and gazed out into the darkness.
Ethel stepped out. She walked in an arch around the cabin, turning her head from side to side as she searched. If Lutoth wanted to see Ulrich, then he knew where to find Ulrich. No amount of searching would make Lutoth appear. Still, Ulrich scanned the space around the cabin, heart hoping to see the nymph.
Ethel walked to the smithy, peering in through the windows. She approached the smithy door, and Ulrich opened it. She stepped in, still searching. He spotted the lace on the table beside the bowl of dirty water. He placed the lantern down and picked up the dark lace, fingering it.
“He got me this,” Ulrich said. “This might be the last Solstice gift he ever gives me.” He clutched the lace, collapsed onto a stool, and dropped his head into his hands.
Tears fell, landing amongst the ash on the floor.
ChapterTwenty-Eight
After some time, Ulrich got up, unable to just stay sitting a moment longer. He strode around the smithy. He needed to do something. Anything. He paused and stared at the forge, an idea growing in his mind.
After a moment, he lit it. It wasn’t like he’d be getting any sleep tonight. Ulrich poured his love and regret and pain into the items he forged. And when he was finished, he wiped them clean. He hoped he’d have a chance to give his gift to the nymph he’d wronged.
Outside, the clouds parted, and the sun lit the village in a golden light. He squinted against the brightness, his eyes gritty after a sleepless night.
Ores lay so still and peaceful at this time of morning, so completely at odds with the raw pain and loss that had taken root inside Ulrich.
“Come, Ethel.” Ulrich set off.
The clouds drifted on the breeze and blocked out the sun. They walked through the village, passing others in the midst of their Solstice preparations. Small huts that would be used to sell food and beverages had started to be decorated for Winter Solstice that would take place tomorrow. But Ulrich kept walking, deliberately avoiding eye contact as he trudged towards the forest.
Ulrich’s boots sank into the snow with each heavy step. Snowflakes fell. He shoved his hands into his pocket. He’d forgotten his gloves.
Ethel’s steps sped up as she walked, as if she knew exactly where they were going.
Please let Lutoth be in the valley.
They walked down the path. Several oreads glanced his way, but just like in the village, he avoided meeting their gazes. He approached the cave where Lutoth’s father lived. Fifior sat outside.
His face broke into a wide smile. Then it dropped as he gazed at Ulrich. He jumped to his feet, head turning from side to side, searching for Lutoth.
A lump rose in Ulrich’s throat. So Lutoth wasn’t here either. He’d expected as much, but still, he’d hoped otherwise.
“Where is Lutoth?” Fifior asked, his voice sad as if he already knew what Ulrich would say.
“I was hoping he might be here.”
Fifior leaned a hand against the cave entrance. He closed his eyes and let out a breath. “He just left, then?”
“No,” Ulrich blurted. “Well, yes. But he had every right to leave me. It was my fault. I did things. Said things. He left me because I deserved it.” He swallowed. “But I’m sure he’ll come back to you. It’s me who hurt him, not you.”
Fifior nodded, although it wasn’t clear if he believed Ulrich. Did he really think Lutoth would just leave his father with no word?
“I wanted to apologise to him for how I acted and what I said. Tell him that he deserves better and I don’t want to lose him,” Ulrich said. “And that if he comes back to me, I’ll do better. Can you please tell him when you see him?”
“I’ll tell him,” Fifior said, voice resigned. “If he comes back.”
“He’ll come back to you,” Ulrich said fiercely. “I know he will.”
Lutoth’s father looked sceptical, which made Ulrich feel sick. No wonder Lutoth had acted like he had when Ulrich had told him not to fly away like his mother. Even his own father believed Lutoth would just take off and leave.
Ulrich needed to see Lutoth. He needed to apologise. He needed to make it right.