Page 27 of A Winter Awakening
Bliss. Complete and absolute bliss.
But Gael didn’t respond to the kiss.
Orteo pulled back. Dread shot through him.
“What?” Gael’s brows furrowed. “What?”
Orteo yanked his hands away, removing his touch from Gael. “Sorry. I thought…” He trailed off.
“You thought what?”
“I thought you might want me to kiss you,” Orteo said.
No disgust or anger filled Gael’s gaze. Just confusion.
“You really didn’t see it coming?” Orteo asked. “After everything.”
“After everything?” Gael repeated.
Orteo wanted to laugh. Or cry. “Well, I’m always touching you. And the way you look at me.”
“We’re friends,” Gael said.
“We slept in the same bed,” Orteo pressed. “I held you through the night.”
“We’re close friends,” Gael said softly. His brows furrowed further.
Orteo blinked. “Right.” Orteo rolled onto his back. He stared at the ceiling. “We’re close friends.” The rejection stung. Hope crumbled into ash. Throat tight, Orteo lifted the sheets and climbed from the bed.
He didn’t understand how he could be so wrong. But clearly, Gael had only ever seen him as a friend. Everything between them was just part of that friendship. He stared at the cabin wall, gaze tracing the dark grain of the wood. He couldn’t look at Gael right now. It hurt too much.
Orteo’s shoulders sagged. “I should get going.” He stood.
He held no anger. Just disappointment. He needed to be alone to lick his wounded heart.
“Already? Don’t you want breakfast or something?” Gael threw the sheets back and sat at the end of the bed. He looked so vulnerable and lost.
Orteo turned away. He stared at the fireplace, the silence stretching out. “I’ll start a fire before I leave.” He couldn’t leave Gael in the cold.
Neither spoke as he started it. But he felt Gael watching him. Felt the confusion and uncertainty rolling off him. Orteo didn’t blame Gael. He’d known Gael was somewhat naive.
Still, Orteo had hoped for something more than friendship between them.
The fire blazed. Still, Orteo didn’t move. He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths, wishing the pain taking root in his chest would disappear.
He shouldn’t have kissed Gael. He should have just enjoyed the intimacy and closeness of their friendship. Like Gael had. He should have been grateful for what he had after so many years alone. He’d been greedy to want more.
And this no doubt was for the best. Only recently, Gael had been engaged and about to marry someone. He didn’t need a new relationship. Gael didn’t even know what he was going to do after his ankle healed. Who knew what his future held? It definitely wasn’t a good time for Gael to start a relationship.
And even though Orteo had managed to care for and look after Gael, how long could he keep that up? No doubt he’d eventually let the man down and disappoint him. Like he had everyone else.
Perhaps this was better for both of them. He could continue to look after Gael and enjoy their friendship. And focus on not messing up.
But not right now. He needed time alone.
Finally, he stood and turned towards Gael. Neither spoke as they stared at each other.
Gael’s innocent beauty made Orteo ache. What he wouldn’t give to reach for Gael and kiss him. And to have those kisses welcomed. But his kisses weren’t welcomed here.