Page 23 of A Winter Awakening

Orteo glanced up at the cloud-filled sky. He had fucked plenty of oreads in the past. But he’d never had a lover or partner.

After his sister’s death, sex had been an attempt to keep the sting of grief at bay. It had been meaningless and empty. It hadn’t mattered who he fucked as long as he could lose himself for a moment and escape the never-ending pain.

Over time, his desire to lose himself in sex had diminished into nothingness. So he’d stopped fucking. Now it had been years since he’d had sex or even wanted it.

That had changed with Gael. He wanted to touch Gael and feel their bodies moving together as they sought their pleasure.

But as Orteo walked, he realised he wanted something more than that. He wanted Gael as a lover. A partner. As someone steady and constant in his life.

His stomach tightened. He’d never wanted that before.

It terrified him.

Orteo reached his cave. Ducking his head, he entered the small dwelling and went about starting a fire. After a couple of minutes, the fire crackled in the middle of the cave, casting a golden glow over the rocky walls. Sitting by the cave entrance, he pulled out his figure of Daisy and Gael and continued to whittle.

Should he approach Gael and risk the current state of things? The way the man looked at Orteo made his chest tighten. And the way Gael said his name like Orteo was the most wonderful oread in the world made heat radiate through his body.

Clearly, the man cared for Orteo. But in what capacity? Was it just gratitude and thankfulness? Or could there be more? How could Orteo tell?

Orteo couldn’t make a mistake. He didn’t want to lose what he had with Gael. He didn’t want to be cut off from the connection.

Maybe Orteo needed to move slowly. Start with casual touches and see how Gael responded. Then he could keep increasing those touches until Orteo knew for certain that Gael wanted him as something more than a friend and companion.

The hours slipped by. Finally, finished whittling, Orteo rose and placed Daisy and Gael on a shelf.

Over the years, he’d whittled many figures: oreads, humans, animals, birds, and trees.

He stared at one shelf. It held Ori, Liney, and the throuple who’d taken them in. He should start one of Wareth. Ori and Wareth clearly were in love. Wareth belonged in the family now.

Of course, Orteo had never carved one of himself. He didn’t belong in the happy, little family.

His throat tightened. When he’d returned from travelling, the aunties had invited him to spend time with them. He’d come once.

But it had felt stilted. Unnatural. The younglings had grown. Before, Ori and Liney would run to him and hug him. Ori would beg him for stories and to play games. They’d seemed so much older. They’d been reserved. Like he was a stranger. And how else should they act? He’d abandoned them and left them whilst they’d grieved and needed him.

He’d been so proud and happy at their births. He’d been so keen to hold them and introduce himself to them. He’d been their uncle. “I’ll be the best uncle in the world,” he had told his sister.

She’d smiled and believed him.

His gaze sought out the figure of his sister. He picked her up.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

He set her back and looked away as if he could see her judgement and disappointment in the figure’s eyes.

He walked away and sat back down on the floor. He took a chunk of wood and began to whittle Wareth.

ChapterFourteen

“What did you say it was?” Gael asked.

“It’s a Solstice gift,” Orteo said. “These are Solstice berries.”

Orteo pinned the Solstice berries, wrapped in a red ribbon, to Gael’s shirt. Gael sat in his armchair, and Orteo leaned over him. Orteo smelled like the winter forests. Crisp, piny, and refreshing.

“In Ores, gifts are given in the four weeks before Winter Solstice. I thought I should give you one.” He placed a hand on Gael’s arm and squeezed. A warm, comforting gesture.

After several lingering moments, Orteo dropped his hand. “Winter Solstice is a big deal in Ores.” Orteo sat on a wooden chair by Gael. “It’s a celebration remembering when the oreads, my ancestors, saved the human travellers who’d gotten lost in the Norend Mountains. The humans went on to build Ores.” He smiled. “Or the story goes something like that. I’m not great at remembering the details.”