Page 7 of A Whisper Of Desire (The Disgraced Lords #4)

“Love. You’ve told me many times you don’t believe in love, and that is why you are not the man for her.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Let’s face it, emotions of any kind make you uncomfortable. Christ, they call you the Cold Duke.”

If only his friend knew why he kept his emotions under control. He wondered why Sebastian had never guessed. Sebastian knew what his father had been like. “But you’d let her marry Rutherford?” he declared angrily, shoving his hands through his sleeves so hard the thin linen almost ripped.

“Rutherford will become a marquess on his father’s death. He and Marisa are very similar in personalities and age. They both love life and he’s totally in love with her. I’ve never seen a man so besotted.”

Maitland turned and held out his cravat.

Sebastian stepped close to help him tie it.

The men were eye-to-eye in height, but Maitland didn’t have Sebastian’s dark good looks.

Sebastian had always had women at his beck and call—widows, wives, and courtesans.

Yet Sebastian didn’t turn into a slave to his desires like Maitland knew he would.

Maitland suddenly understood. Sebastian saw himself in Rutherford. The only difference is that Sebastian was also honorable, whereas Rutherford was a cad.

“You profess to care for your sister, yet you are cavalierly trusting in a young man of twenty-two.”

Sebastian pulled the knot tight. “I’ve learned that where love is concerned, many things are not important: background, age, looks?—”

“Truth. What about truth?”

“Of course. I know you are a man of honor and the rumors of you and Marisa will hurt your reputation, but if Rutherford could be convinced of the situation, and that nothing occurred, if he stands by Marisa, will you let her have her happiness?”

“If he doesn’t, will you support this marriage?”

Sebastian stepped away and began to pace the room. “I won’t force Marisa to marry you. I will protect her from scandal and I’ll do anything to see her happy.”

Maitland’s anger, anger he usually could control, was building along with the hurt.

His best friend had just insulted him and didn’t even realize it.

“You are straining the bonds of our friendship. You’d rather see her disgraced than married to me, is that it?

” He turned from Sebastian, unable to look at him without wanting to punch him, but a part of him knew she would be better off without him.

Sebastian sighed. “I want her happy. Outside of Rutherford, I’m not sure what will make her happy.” He heard Sebastian open the door.

“Rutherford has a mistress, and has to marry to unlock funds his dear father is withholding. I wonder why, if he is such a golden boy, his father has to withhold his funds.”

The door slammed shut and Maitland turned to find a very pissed-off Sebastian still in the room.

“You bastard. If you knew this, why did you not come to me?”

“I only found out last night at the ball.” He walked until he stood toe-to-toe with Sebastian. “Why did you not dig deeper when a man came courting your sister?”

Sebastian was breathing heavily. He spun and sank down to sit on the edge of the bed, his head in his hands.

“Christ, I’ve been an idiot. I’ve been so caught up in my marriage and finding love, I didn’t look past the emotion.

I simply took Rutherford for his word.” He raised his head, his eyes filled with pain.

“How am I going to tell Marisa? It will hurt her.”

“I’ve already told her.” At Sebastian’s confused frown, Maitland added, “Is that not what a friend would do for another friend?”

Sebastian stared straight ahead.

“Look, I think you’re underestimating both me and Marisa.

We talked while you were gone. She’s a sensible young woman.

She understands her choices. Out of respect for my friendship with you, I will abide by her decision.

She has already said she won’t marry Rutherford, and if she is prepared to weather the storm that will follow this scandal, then I will gladly wear the dishonor that follows.

I’m a duke, after all. Even if you don’t think I’m good enough for your sister, there are many who would disagree. ”

With that, he walked from the room, his pride in tatters.

For a man who had stood by his side through most of his adult life, Sebastian’s opposition to his marriage with Marisa was humbling.

Did all the Libertine Scholars think like that?

Had they spied the type of man he really was? Did they see his father in him?

If they had sisters, would they also think a match with him was not desirable?

Well, he’d prove them all wrong. If Marisa chose him, he was going to make her the happiest woman that walked this earth. He wondered what that would cost him.

Marisa could still hear Helen cursing under her breath as she stomped around Marisa’s bedchamber. Finally Helen swung to face her.

“I’m going to spit on Rutherford the next time I see him. If I were a man, I’d call him out. I’m surprised Sebastian hasn’t already done so.”

“It’s difficult to do that when the said lady Rutherford has supposedly dishonored has been caught in bed with the Duke of Lyttleton.”

Helen sighed. “I suppose.” Then she looked at Marisa and said, “But still.” She sat down on the bed and said, “This love business is scary. How are you to ever know if what a man professes is true?”

Marisa turned back to the mirror and continued to brush her hair.

She’d been thinking that exact thought. Prior to her brother’s marriage, Marisa had not wanted to fall in love.

Her parents had fallen madly in love as youngsters and married.

When the love died, petty jealousies and attention-seeking tactics saw her parents fighting each other like two rampaging bulls.

Each had taken a lover, trying to hurt the other.

If that was love, she’d wanted nothing of it. It was only seeing Sebastian’s and Beatrice’s love for each other that made Marisa realize her parents hadn’t loved each other at all. It had merely been attraction. Once that had worn off, they didn’t even like each other.

Rutherford had lied and she’d fallen for it. Her confidence was shattered. How could she trust any man again?

“So, what are you going to do? Weather the scandal or marry Lyttleton? Sebastian says you have to make a decision by dinner, because the scandal is the talk of the ton already.”

Marisa put the brush down and looked into the mirror.

She was only twenty. She could weather the storm for a few years and then try to find love.

She knew it would take a special man to fall in love with a fallen wanton who was known to have slipped into a duke’s bed.

Still, it would appear it was hard enough finding a man to love her when she was the belle of the ball.

Now that her reputation was tainted, it would be even harder.

Could she risk going through the humiliation of being fooled again? It would seem her dowry was a bigger prize than her heart, and that stung.

She squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to imagine what it would be like to be no longer welcome anywhere respectable.

“His Grace is quite handsome, even if he is a bit of a cold fish.”

Her eyes flew open and found Helen’s in the mirror. She didn’t think the duke was cold. The kiss in the ballroom had scorched heat, and in the bedroom . . . Her heart beat a bit faster. He was also kinder and gentler than she would have thought.

“He is—nice.”

Helen’s face fell. “Nice. Oh, that’s disappointing. I’d hoped you felt some kind of attraction to His Grace.”

She swiveled round on her chair, facing Helen. “I haven’t really noticed him before. I know he’s visited our house many, many times, and we’ve had Christmas celebrations at his estate, but he was always Sebastian’s distant and aloof friend.”

Helen shrugged. “He’s very clever. A genius with numbers, so I have heard. I know he is a formidable gambler and that Sebastian uses him for all his investment decisions.”

“You know more about the man than I.”

“I’m quiet too. I notice those similar to me. People like you are too caught up with the gaiety.”

Marisa’s eyes opened wide. “Are you calling me shallow? You are. ” She turned back to the mirror and looked at herself.

Helen could be right. She was so caught up in being the most sought-after debutante, she’d not really taken the time to study those around her.

She shivered in the afternoon heat. She’d never make that mistake again.

“I didn’t mean it as a fault, Marisa. We are all different. You are a vivacious person. Just by smiling, you make the room light up when you enter, and you always know what to say to put everyone at ease. That’s a gift.” Helen smiled at her and she smiled back.

“Perhaps I should stop trying to be the center of attention and take more notice of those around me.”

“He fooled everyone, even Sebastian,” her sister replied.

She nodded thoughtfully. It made her doubt what she knew about Maitland. She thought him nice, but she’d really spent only one day with him. He was Sebastian’s friend, though.

She wanted to have a closer look at Maitland.

Everything he’d done over the last twenty-four hours had been to protect her.

He had not lied to her, threatened her; he did, she thought, with warmth flooding her cheeks, try to seduce her.

He’d been more a friend to her tonight than Rutherford ever had.

“I think I’m going to marry Maitland.”

Helen gasped. “Are you sure? He is definitely not like you in personality.”

Marisa loved Helen so much, she didn’t care that many thought Helen was only her half sister, a product of one of her mother’s affairs. “True. He’s more like you, and you and I get along famously.”

Helen laughed. “That can’t be the only reason. Are you thinking of Sebastian and the scandal?”

“Nothing so honorable, I’m afraid.” Marisa shook her head and let her tears fall. “I can’t be shunned. I can’t bear to have everyone sneering and thinking ill of me. I guess I’m a coward.”

Helen came and hugged her. “No, my sweet. You’re simply focused on self-preservation, as anyone in your situation would be. Maitland is nice. He’s handsome and rich, and you’ll be a duchess. Most young ladies would sell their best jewels to receive an offer from His Grace.”

“I think he’s lonely. I like him, even though I’ve really only known him for a day. It’s just I have this hunger in my soul for more. I want what Sebastian and Beatrice share.”

“We can’t always get what we want, can we?”

Marisa looked at Helen. “I know you are in love with Lord Fullerton,” she said softly, as she squeezed Helen’s hand.

Helen nodded. “He doesn’t even know I exist.”

Marisa brushed a curl off Helen’s face. “When you’re a bit older, he will. You’re so beautiful.”

“It might be too late. He might meet someone else.”

“Then perhaps it isn’t meant to be. Maybe there is a young man out there who is searching for a woman just like you.”

Helen brushed a tear off her face. “Aren’t we a pair? In love with men who don’t love us.” She stood and helped Marisa clasp the pearl necklace round her neck. “I think you’ll make a beautiful, kind duchess.”

Marisa hugged her close before making her way to Sebastian’s study. Her stomach was full of butterflies. She wasn’t only nervous. She was excited too. Maitland was a conundrum she planned on solving if she was to be married to him for the rest of her life.

She stopped at the study door to gather her composure. It wasn’t every day a young lady became a duchess. The idea of her new station gave her courage. She knocked firmly and entered.

To her surprise, Maitland was present. The two men rose and Maitland moved forward to greet her. He bowed over her hand. “How are you holding up?” he asked.

She gave him a warm smile, suddenly wanting to see the lines of worry round his eyes ease. “I’m fine,” she said, and she rather surprised herself by pressing a kiss to his cheek. When she looked across the desk at her brother, he was beaming.

Maitland held out a chair for her, and she sat. “I have almost made my decision.”

Sebastian’s smile faltered. “Almost?”

She turned to Maitland, who had retaken his seat. “Do you have a mistress?”

“Marisa, really.”

She turned on her brother. “Since I have to settle for a marriage not of my choosing, I would like to know I’m not being made a fool of once again.” She looked at Maitland and watched his eyes. How did one tell if someone was lying?

Maitland cleared his throat. “I do not have a mistress, I’ve never had a mistress, and if you do me the honor of becoming my duchess, I swear I shall not avail myself of one in the future.”

Last night he’d promised he’d never lie to her, but for all she knew, that was a lie. She had never been a suspicious person before. A curse on Rutherford. He’d not only broken her heart, he’d destroyed her faith in taking a person’s word.

Everyone lied; she knew that, for she too lied. Usually to spare someone’s feelings, saying a lady’s hat was gorgeous when really it looked like a dead bird had landed on her head.

Lord Rutherford had stripped her of trust. He’d taught her that people lied for their own personal gain. Yet if anyone had something to gain from a marriage with His Grace, it was she. Maitland had no need to lie to her. His offer of marriage would save her from societal banishment and scorn.

“In that case, I accept your honorable proposal of marriage.” She quickly prayed that she would not be disappointed by the coward’s choice she made.

She straightened her back. She now owed it to His Grace to become the best wife she could possibly be.

She knew it was their enemy’s fault they were in this predicament.

The look of relief on Sebastian’s face dampened her anger. “If you’d allow it, there is one more thing I’d like. Now that I will become a married woman, I expect to be party to the hunt. I want to catch the bitch who has destroyed my life.”