Page 119 of A Wedding in Tuscany

Tuscany

Goodbyes are wretched things … and here come a slew of them.

At least Dad’s speech got me laughing?well, sort of. A few married colleagues had warned me that the topic of babies would come up this week. I’d forgotten, but Dad’s words were a stark reminder that at thirty-eight, Jean-Luc and I will need to decide soon-ish if we want to be parents. But one major life decision at a time?we only sorted our living situation five minutes ago. And Jane?lovely Jane?was so understanding when we broke the news to her earlier. She’s even promised to help us look for somewhere in Docklands so we’re still in the same borough.

‘Cat, come here, love,’ says Dad, holding his arms out wide. I step into his embrace and try not to dissolve into tears. He’s not tall, my dad, but neither am I, and his hugs have always felt like the safest place in the world to be. ‘Only partly kidding about the grandchild thing,’ he says. I lean back and give him one of my schoolteacher looks. He grins at me, making me smile.

‘You’re very naughty, Dad,’ I say. ‘We’ve only just got married.’

‘Yes, love, but you’re pushing forty and I know you young people think you have all the time in the world?’

‘So, first I’m old and now I’m young?’

‘Exactly.’

We regard one another for a moment. As has been true each time I say goodbye to my parents, this one will hurt acutely for some time, then eventually dull into an ache that becomes part of my emotional landscape. Living across the world from my immediate family is the hardest part of calling London home. But it is home and now I’m going to share it with my new husband.

‘Are you excited about Venice, Dad?’ I ask.

‘Ah, you know me, love. I’m happy if your mum’s happy and she’s been talking about going back for a while now.’

‘But it’s Venice.’ I wouldn’t mind an extra week away in one of the world’s most romantic cities but I’m due back at school in a couple of days.

‘I’m sure it will be great. Best pizza in the world!’ He waggles his eyebrows.

‘I won’t tell the entire city of Naples that.’

He sighs. ‘We’re doing that thing, aren’t we?’

‘Where we just talk rubbish until it’s time to say goodbye? Yes, we are.’

‘I miss you, love.’ I suddenly can’t speak?a lump the size of a pizza has lodged in my throat?so I just nod. ‘It’s been wonderful being here with you and you have to promise to come home soon, okay?’ Even after living in London for fifteen years, Dad still refers to Sydney as my ‘home’.

I manage to squeak out, ‘I will,’ before he hugs me again, quickly and tightly, then steps away, clearing his throat and putting on a show of saying cheery goodbyes to the others.

I blow my nose as Mum steps up, almost shy. ‘Hello, Mum.’

‘Hello, darling.’

It appears she has something to say?and not just ‘goodbye’?but is having trouble getting the words out. After a moment, I reach for her hand. ‘I know, Mum. Me too.’ A sob takes hold as tears stream from her eyes and she embraces me tightly.

‘I really do love you, you know,’ she says. ‘And I miss you?so much,’ she adds, barely above a whisper.

‘I miss you too, Mum.’

She pulls away and places her hands on my shoulders, then composes herself, smiling tautly. ‘Enjoy the rest of your stay.’

‘I will.’

She takes a deep breath, sighing it out. ‘See you, then.’ She pats my shoulders and goes.

Our parents say quick goodbyes to our friends, Dad in his typical jovial way and Mum even more reserved than usual. Then Dad tosses in a final dig at Sarah and Josh for snogging in public (again) and they’re gone. I stare after them for a moment and feel Sarah beside me. ‘That sucked,’ she says.

‘Yes. I feel like escaping back to the castle so I can have a good cry in private.’

‘We can head off soon if you like. No need to prolong these goodbyes any longer if you’re not up to it.’

I lean into her and she wraps an arm around my shoulder. ‘Am I a shitty person if that’s exactly what I’d like to do?’