Page 100 of A Wedding in Tuscany

Cat smiles. ‘True. But she and her dad clashed?a lot?and now he’s gone.’ We’re all quiet for a moment.

‘I suppose you never really know the pain that some people are hiding,’ says Lins.

‘Do you mean Cécile?’ asks Jaelee.

‘No, Bianca. Though there must be something going on with that woman,’ replies Lins.

‘Mmm,’ I say, though I’m dubious there’s a legitimate reason for her behaviour. I genuinely believe Cécile’s just a horrible person.

‘Anyway,’ says Cat, ‘we should get back before my handsome hubby misses me.’

‘But how do you want to play this?’ I ask. ‘With Cécile?’

‘How about instead of Mum, we sic Dad on her,’ Cat suggests.

‘What? I’m confused. Sic Dad on her?’ Our dad is the most jovial, sweetest man on the planet.

‘Yes. Give her a hefty dose of the Ronald Parsons charm. If she still hates us after that, then she can go fuck herself.’

Lindsey and Jaelee laugh. ‘I’m not sure she hates all of us, Cat,’ I say. ‘Pretty sure it’s just you.’

‘Ha-ha, you’re hilarious.’

‘Catherine?’ Jean-Luc is standing at the bottom of the staircase that leads up to the loft. ‘Everything is all right?’ he asks.

She steps forward. ‘Yes, darling, everything is perfect. Shall we go cut the cake?’

In the weak light, confusion flashes across his face but he breaks into a smile, then offers his arm and they head back upstairs.

‘You know,’ says Jaelee to us quietly, ‘I attended the second wedding of a Real Housewife back in Miami?it was filmed and everything?and that wedding had less drama than this one.’

‘Ooh, I love those shows,’ says Lins. ‘They’re my guilty pleasure. Come on, we’re switching to liquor and you’re gonna tell me everything.’

I follow Lins and Jaelee up the stairs as they chat excitedly. I couldn’t give a flying fuck about the Real Housewives. I’m just relieved we’ve averted yet another crisis. I glance at my dress watch?8:17pm. We just need to get through the next few hours. ‘Get through’?surely that’s not the ideal way to feel about celebrating your sister’s wedding, apt as it may be.

But with operation ‘Ron Parsons, Charmer’ about to launch, Cat’s going to need her Maid of Honour on high alert. This could turn into Real Housewives?or Real Bitchy Sisters-in-Law?in a heartbeat.