Bingley’s brows raised. “I am surprised by your motivation, my friend. From what you said before, it sounded rather as if you disapproved of the Bennets as much as anything. What does it matter if Mr Collins marries one of the girls? It would keep Longbourn in the family, and one of the five sisters would be taken care of. Hardly a disastrous outcome.”
At that, Darcy was caught short. Bingley was right, of course. Only he could not bear to think of Elizabeth shackled to such a man, subject to his narrow opinions and his control, forced to accept his kisses and his desires —
All of which, if he said it to his friend, would make him sound like a raving lunatic, a veritable lovesick fool.
“It would be a disastrous outcome for her,” Darcy said abruptly.
He looked up and saw that Elizabeth had re-entered the ballroom, staying close to her father.
His chest swelled with emotions he would prefer not to name.
Yet perhaps it was inevitable, and to whom could he speak of it, if not to his closest friend? He lowered his voice, leaning closer to Bingley as he turned his back on the proceedings. “I am much too caught by Miss Elizabeth, try as I might to fight it.”
“Indeed? I am glad to hear it, my friend,” Bingley said, his face brightening. Confusion soon overtook his features. “Is this not good news? I thought you had decided to start looking for a wife.”
Darcy shook his head. “But I will not find one here. I have decided. I must leave Netherfield and go back to Pemberley. It will take time to get over this —” he halted as he searched for the words.
He looked over his shoulder to where Elizabeth stood, immediately drawn to her beauty.
She was not laughing, or even smiling. But her serious expression did nothing to take away from her quiet beauty.
Reluctantly, Darcy turned away. “Over this infatuation, I suppose I shall call it.”
Bingley seemed even more confused. “Why not pursue her if you find yourself attracted to her? She is a most appealing young woman, and with such a quick wit and easy manner. Had I tried to think of the perfect match for you, I might have described just such a woman —”
“No,” Darcy said firmly. “I could not lower myself.”
Bingley grew still and quiet. “Lower yourself?”
Darcy gestured in frustration, not seeing the dangerous intensity of his friend’s expression.
“Yes, of course. Do you not see that any connection with the Bennet family would be a degradation for someone of my station? Can you imagine having company over to Pemberley and having Mrs Bennet constantly flitting about? And heaven forbid Miss Lydia or Miss Kitty should bring their flirtations to my house. I most certainly do not want Georgiana influenced by their wild manners.” He sighed heavily, his heart clenching at the thought of leaving Meryton and Elizabeth.
But he had to think of what was best for his family’s honour.
“How could I marry Elizabeth when I do not want the two families to become one?”
“I am not nearly as fastidious. I have every intention of pursuing Miss Bennet.” Bingley announced.
Darcy could not stand aside without saying something.
He knew that Miss Bingley, as well as her older sister, was worried about Bingley making an unwise connection.
“I must caution you about marrying Jane Bennet, my friend. It will not help your place in society. Consequence must have its place, and she can bring you none.”
Strangely, Bingley turned away, remaining silent for so long that Darcy was beginning to wonder if he heard his warning over the din of the music, laughter, and easy chatter going on about them.
When he turned back, Darcy was shocked to see his friend’s eyes flash with anger. “Is that really what you think?”
“Bingley, I —”
“If you view the Bennets as so utterly beneath you, surely you must think still less of me and my family. After all, the Bennets are landed gentry, and I am merely the son of a wealthy merchant.” He rolled his eyes heavenward.
“Heaven forbid the noble house of Darcy should lower themselves to acquaintances of the merchant class!”
Darcy could only sputter as he tried desperately to find a solution for his blunder.
He had never looked down on the Bingleys, nor merely tolerated his association with them.
Charles Bingley was his closest friend. “There is a difference in our degree of consequence, to be sure, but that should not prevent our friendship. I have never thought of you as unworthy —”
“Unworthy to be your friend?” Bingley snapped, giving a short, deprecating laugh.
“It is not less insulting to be given an exception, just because you are willing to overlook my origins. Like Miss Bennet, I, too, can bring no contribution of consequence to our association.” Bingley looked at him with a look of disbelief.
“I cannot believe it. How many years have I considered you my closest friend? I am not your equal in consequence — I have never been unaware of that. But I had no idea that you held those below you in contempt. What must you think of me?”
“You misunderstand —” Darcy tried to defend himself.
Bingley held up his hand and backed away. “No. Perhaps it is just as well that you are leaving. It would be better for us to spend some time away from each other’s company, I think.”
Darcy’s heart dropped into his shoes. Bingley was dismissing him, literally sending him out of his house. “I did not mean —” He halted, unable to think of a way to mend the breach. “Please, try to understand.”
“I must see to my other guests,” Bingley said, shaking his head. He moved away, then turned without another word and disappeared into the crowd.
Darcy stood stock still for a moment, astonished.
Yet far wrong than his confusion was his anger — at himself.
How had he blundered so badly? Without having the slightest intention of insulting his friend, he had casually handed down a judgement that could be interpreted in no other way.
Shame washed over him. He had never seen Bingley as someone lower than himself.
He had always considered them equals in every way that mattered.
But to judge by his own words, that was not the case.
It would have been a comfort to tell himself that Bingley’s pique was due to his infatuation with Miss Bennet and his eagerness to defend her family, but Darcy could not bring himself to believe it.
Bingley’s anger was all too natural. His assumption that he had the right to tell his friend how to direct his life, and still worse, the condescension of telling Bingley that he was an exception to the rules of social consequence, simply because Darcy had decided he should be —
Darcy was nothing less than disgusted with himself.
He turned and walked away, deciding that it was best he disappeared from the party. He had made a royal mess of everything. As he sat in his guestroom, far from the noise and gaiety happening below the stairs, he tried to think of a way to assuage his conscience.
Surely, anyone in society would have agreed with him. He regretted deeply that he had insulted Bingley, but leaving Netherfield was the right thing for him to do. Was it not?
Darcy paced near the hearth, playing the whole of the evening over in his mind.
Perhaps it was best that he was leaving.
It would give him a chance to get over Elizabeth and hopefully find a way to make amends with Bingley.
He would have the solace of being in his own home.
Once he was far away from Elizabeth, he could forget her and move on.
Surely it could not be so impossible to forget her as it felt at that moment.
∞∞∞
The following morning, Darcy went down to breakfast in hopes of seeing Bingley before leaving, but it was not to be.
Miss Bingley informed him that Bingley had ridden out early to go for a long ride about the country.
“Indeed, he said not to expect his return before supper this evening.” She gave him a curious look. “Has something gone amiss?”
“No, not at all,” Darcy said. Of course, it was a lie, but he could not imagine telling her the reason for their falling out. “Well, I will leave you then. I depart for Pemberley this morning.” He turned to leave, but Miss Bingley quickly rose from her seat and came to him.
“What is this? Surely not! You have only just arrived,” she said in dismay.
He could see the disappointment shining in her eyes.
Unsurprisingly, for Miss Bingley had not made a secret of her hopes to lure him into marriage.
But he would not be lured. His thoughts quickly turned to Elizabeth.
Yet another reason to leave as quickly as possible.
If he could not get her out of his mind and move past this ridiculous infatuation, he might do something drastic.
“I must go. There is pressing business for me at Pemberley. And besides, I do not wish to leave Georgiana alone so long. It is not fair for her to be left alone for such long stints of time.” He sighed heavily, looking out the large windows and seeing his friend riding at a breakneck pace across the fields.
His heart ached at the breach he made between them with his callous words.
He should have been more careful in voicing his thoughts.
Or perhaps, Darcy, you should have had better thoughts to begin with.
Miss Bingley looked down at the ground. “Is there nothing I can say to make you stay? It will be terribly lonely here without an ally,” she said, giving a small pout. “If something has happened between you and Charles, I may yet be able to prevail upon him to apologise.”
“You think that Charles is to blame? Why would it not be I who must make amends?” he asked. At the look on her face, he knew he had revealed too much.
“Charles can be reckless. He does not always think before he speaks.” Miss Bingley raised a brow.
“However, he is also very forgiving. Almost too forgiving at times, in my opinion. But in this case, I would beg you to stay and see how things can be fixed between you, if that is indeed what is needed. I will speak to my brother, if you think it would be helpful.”
He did not wish to be unkind, but nor did he want to give her hope that there was something between them, or that there ever would be.
Accepting her help would only cement what she thought was a budding romance between them.
And he did not want to encourage her. “There is nothing for me here. Not anymore. Do tell Bingley that I wish him well, and your sister and Mr Hurst as well.” He bowed slightly and backed away. “Farewell, Miss Bingley.”
He hurried away as fast as he could, ordered his valet to bring down his trunks, and headed away from Netherfield with alacrity. Even the dirt and discomfort of the road would be a welcome distraction — anything, anything to let him forget how he had erred.
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19 (Reading here)
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59