Page 66 of A Warrior's Heart

“No,” I finally answered Troy. “I’m not worthy of being a captain. I failed my men when it mattered most. Ervin was right when he confronted me. I led my army into a trap because I was too blind to see what was happening right before my very eyes. They all died because of my careless actions.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” Troy whispered. “I know you did all you could to save them.”

“I didn’t do enough.”

I recalled the searing agony of the spear as it pierced my left knee. I had fallen to the dirt and yanked it free before trying to stand again. All around me, my men were dying. I had yelled and grinded my teeth so hard I tasted blood as I forced myself to stand and continue fighting. My side was torn open, blood drenching my trousers and staining the earth below my feet, and I hadn’t been able to put any weight on my left leg. But still, I had fought.

And then, Aeon had fallen. When I’d seen the arrow pierce his neck, I had screamed so loud I sometimes still felt the rawness of that scream in my throat.

“What happened to the man who betrayed you?” Troy asked.

“I killed him and scattered his limbs all over the battlefield. All except for his head. I put that on a spike and carried it back with me to Avalontis after I ordered the remaining men to retreat.”

“Good,” Troy said, taking me by surprise. I half expected him to be repulsed by the violence. “I would’ve done the same.”

He’s seen battle firsthand, I had to remind myself. He wasn’t the innocent boy he’d once been. At Black Hallows, Troy had fought by my side, picking off the enemy with his precise arrows.

I smoothed my thumb across the faint scar on his shoulder where he’d been stabbed during that battle. I never wanted him to fight again. He was practicing to be a physician, someone who healed people. I didn’t want his hands to take another life. Not if I could help it.

“What about the human army?” He toyed with the strap on my chest armor. “I thought we had a treaty in place back then.”

The conflict had been with humans outside of King James’ kingdom, ones that lived across the sea worlds away. Barbarians that had slaughtered merfolk for sport and hung our carcasses from their city walls for the flies to feast upon.

“The treaty was with King Charles, James’ father. The humans we fought lived across the sea. You’ve never journeyed to their lands.”

“And I never want to.” Troy nestled closer, resting his head against my chest as he looked out to sea. “King James and his people are rotten enough. I need to meet no others.”

“The army we fought faced King Triton’s wrath once I returned to Avalontis with less than half the men I left with.”

“The king fought?” Troy asked.

I understood his bewilderment. King Triton was one of the most powerful beings in all the land and sea. However, he rarely intervened in battles or conflicts. He ordered armies to do his bidding but never took up arms against the enemy himself.

“Yes. He fought.” I combed my fingers through Troy’s hair, loving the silkiness of the strands. “I’d never seen the king so angry. When I told him what happened, he left Avalontis, causing a storm in his wake. Days later, news came that waves had swallowed the land where the human army dwelled. Every one of them was killed. And so were their families. He wiped their entire clan from existence.”

“What did the king do next?”

“No one knows. After killing them all, he went missing for weeks.” The center of my chest ached at the memory of those dark days. I had lost so much in a single moment; my husband, my rank, and with the king gone, it had felt like I’d lost my greatest friend as well. “Loriana, the prince’s mother, ruled the kingdom in his absence. When he finally returned, he didn’t speak of where he went. He spoke not of the humans he destroyed. He behaved like nothing happened at all.”

“Watch your footing!” Lorcan called from behind me.

I turned to see Alek climbing the mast, knife between his teeth. A rope had unwound and gotten tangled around the net due to the high winds. Alek found purchase on the post and cut the rope free. He smiled down at Lorcan.

“You forget that I spent my youth aboard this ship. I know it like the back of my hand.”

“You were in a different body then,” Lorcan yelled back to him. “A body that was smaller and easier to maneuver around tight spaces.”

Alek rolled his eyes as he swung down from the mast and captured Lorcan in his arms. The prince’s cheeks darkened with a blush before they kissed.

“Enough of that,” Eva said, hands on her hips. She slapped Alek on the shoulder before holding up an apple. “Time to practice. You’ve turned a rock into an apple. Now do it backwards. Turn this into a rock.”

“A waste of a perfectly good apple if you ask me,” Troy muttered.

I snatched hold of his chin and tilted his face up. He broke into a smile as soon as our eyes met. I kissed him. He was just too precious.

“I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to this,” he said against my lips. “You kissing me.”

“Would you rather I stop?”