Page 34

The worst had happened.

He sat with that thought long after he had left her. It was a startling realization, but one that prompted more severe action than he had ever taken with her.

He would have to keep his distance, both physically and emotionally. He would have to remind her—and himself—of the practical nature of their union. He would have to act as if nothing had changed, even though everything had.

And, most importantly, he would have to ensure she never felt the same way about him. Because if she did… Nicholas’ throat tightened at the thought. If she did, he would ruin her.

No. This ended now. It had already gone on for far too long.

“I suppose I made the Duke quite angry, didn’t I?” Violet mused out loud.

She sat propped against the plush pillows of her bed as Maria knelt beside her, carefully changing the dressing on her leg. The sting of the fresh bandage grounded Violet’s thoughts, but her mind refused to let go of what had transpired earlier.

It wasn’t her intention to fall—it had just happened. Perhaps her riding skills weren’t the best, but she had handled herself adequately in the past. And yet, nothing could have prepared her for the intensity of Nicholas’ reaction.

And then—the kiss— oh, the kiss. It had been unexpected, but it had left her feeling breathless.

For something that she had thought about so much since it had happened, she found it a bit cruel that they had not even talked about it once. If anything, both of them avoided it as though it had not even happened.

Maria chuckled softly as she secured the fresh bandage. “I would not say that he was angry at you, Your Grace. He was only concerned for your well-being.”

“Well, it was not my fault…”Violet argued, albeit feebly. She wondered for a moment if she should share the story about the kiss with Maria but quickly decided against it.

“You’ve nothing to blame yourself for, Your Grace. Horses are unpredictable creatures.”

Violet nodded absentmindedly. “I could think of another unpredictable creature,” she muttered under her breath.

“I did not quite catch that, Your Grace,” Maria said, snapping Violet out of her haze.

“Oh nothing,” she clarified, her thoughts circling back to the moment he had appeared.

To save her.

Nicholas’ reaction had been so immediate, so forceful.

He had swept her into his arms without hesitation.

He was so willing to protect her, so unlike his usually guarded self.

And while that should be a comforting thought for her—of course, why wouldn’t it be?

Her husband was looking out for her—instead it only raised more questions than answers for her.

How had he known? The question hovered in her mind, refusing to be ignored. Unless someone had run ahead to alert him—which seemed unlikely given the timing—he must have been nearby. Watching.

The thought sent an unbidden shiver down her spine, her fingers tightening slightly on the edge of the blanket.

Had he been watching me?

Perhaps he had been on the grounds, observing from a distance. Her cheeks flushed at the notion, and she quickly dismissed it. Surely not. Why would he?

“Besides, I would take His Grace’s reaction as a positive thing,” Maria said gently, interrupting her thoughts. “If I may say so, it’s a sign of care.”

Violet’s gaze flicked to her maid, startled by the simplicity of the statement. “Care?” she echoed.

The word felt foreign when paired with Nicholas.

Maria offered a small smile as she smoothed her apron.

“Yes, and might I say, it appears that he cares a lot.”

“I—well, I suppose he was worried. But why would he—” she paused, her cheeks warming.

“His Grace doesn’t seem the sort to show his concern openly, Your Grace, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it,” Maria continued.

Violet did not know how to respond. The thought of Nicholas caring for her made something flip in her stomach.

Did he kiss her back because he cared for her, too? Why did he not opt to stay with her longer? Was he thinking about her the same way that she was about him?

Constantly, obsessively, nervously.

“And you say that with certainty?” she questioned Maria, who blinked once in response.

“It was only an observation I had, Your Grace,” she replied, a bit nervously now. Presumably her reaction from being questioned in the manner Violet had done. “Why else would he go through all the trouble of ensuring that you were fine?”

In a normal marriage—or perhaps even in a normal world—that would have made perfect sense. But in her marriage, she could still not know for certain if that was the case.

Heavens. She had kissed him, and he had kissed her back. Yet she did not know whether or not she should interpret it as a sign of affection.

“I suppose you have a point there, Maria,” Violet sighed, inwardly. But with the Duke, you never do know. Do you?

“You should rest now, Your Grace. Your leg will heal faster if you let it,” Maria said as she finished her work and stood. “And you may call on me whenever you need something. His Grace has given me express instructions in that regard.”

Was this him caring again?

“Of course,” Violet murmured, watching Maria leave the room.

Alone once more, Violet leaned back against the pillows, her mind still spinning.

Care. The idea clung stubbornly to her thoughts. Perhaps Maria had articulated what she desperately wanted to hear—and wished to be true.

That she did mean something to him as he did to her.

His reaction coupled with the idea that Nicholas had been watching her, keeping an eye on her from afar, refused to leave her. It was an unsettling thought, not because it unnerved her but because it made her feel something.

Her heart fluttered, and she pressed a hand to her chest, frustrated with her own reaction.

Whatever his reasons, Nicholas was a man who thrived on control, and his concern, if it even was concern, had likely been nothing more than a reflex.

It is not care. Do not fool yourself. It is merely obligation.

And yet, a part of her hoped that she was wrong.

What about the kiss?

“Think nothing of it,” she said to herself. Surely, he must have kissed many ladies in his life—the thought alone made her fill with ire—so this should not be special to him.

He must have forgotten about it already.

Yes, that was what Violet must think of it as. If she stopped herself from reading too much into things, she would perhaps have a better chance at protecting herself from getting disappointed.

But as Violet slipped into slumber that night, all that she dreamt about was Nicholas. Except in her dreams when he had arrived to save her after her fall, he had told her that he loved her.

“He… he loves me.” Violet shot up in bed abruptly. It was not a nightmare that had woken her up—but a good dream.

One that could only remain a dream because having him utter those words to her seemed too far away from reality.

It took Violet a moment to adjust her vision to the darkness and have the realization that she had woken up at what was likely an odd hour. There was no light coming in from her window, indicating that it was not even dawn yet.

“Your Grace.” A hurried Maria rushed inside her room. “I heard your voice from outside. Are you fine? Do you need anything?”

Violet blinked, wondering if she was dreaming again. “Maria, why are you not asleep in your own quarters? Were you sitting outside my chambers this whole time?”

Maria nodded. “Yes, it is my turn in the night to remain outside your chambers. His Grace divided the responsibilities between different members of the staff,” she explained.

Violet could not believe her ears. That sounded all too excessive.

“For what reason?” she demanded.

“He worried that you might need something at night, and there would be no one to attend to you,” Maria explained. “Are you experiencing some discomfort now? Do you wish for me to help in any way?”

Violet felt at a loss of words again. “Maria, please go back to your quarters and sleep soundly. I shall be fine.”

“But His Grac?—”

“Consider it an order from me,” Violet said, shaking her head now. Reluctantly, the maid left.

Surely, Nicholas had spared no effort in ensuring that she got all the help she needed—or even that she did not need. Was it true, then? What Maria had said before?

That all of this was out of care? Perhaps… even love?

Violet fell back on her bed, willing herself to sleep again.

When Nicholas greeted her at the breakfast table the next morning, Violet could sense that something was off about him.He seemed a bit off—in the least not like the warm, loving version of him that had appeared in her dreams the night before.

A version that she found herself thinking of even now, the next morning.

Was it really too good to be true?

“Good morning,” she greeted, her voice carefully measured. “I hope that you had a good sleep.”

He nodded curtly and took his seat, his movements efficient, almost mechanical. It was not lost on her that he refused to even look in her direction.But he looked tired, as though he had not gotten any sleep at all.

“How is your injury now?” he asked in a detached voice.

“Oh, I seem to be healing rather quickly. It feels much better now,” she informed him. “Did you get any sleep?”

She expected him to be happy to hear that, but instead, he just frowned,and once again, he ignored the question about his own sleep.

“Make sure that you do not get yourself into a situation like that again,” he said instead.

Was he still angry at her? She felt a bit lost on how to continue.

“I… well, yes, I will be more careful from now on,” she nodded. But his words left her feeling strange. There was no warmth in them, and his concern, too, seemed more like offense.

“I will arrange for you to have proper riding lessons,” he announced. “Make sure that you attend them. I will inform the staff to account for them in your schedule.”

Lessons? “Nicholas, it was only a fall. I hardly require a lesson?—”

“It is not up for debate,” he cut her off, harshly.