Page 56 of A Vow To Chase

“I missed you,” she murmurs, rubbing her head against me. “I love you and I missed you. Don’t ever do that to me again.” I nod into her hair, unsure how much I can promise, but knowing that I’ll keep trying as long as she needs me. “You’re the strongest man I’ve ever known, Malachi.” I frown and look over her, at the sky outside. “I know you can’t see it, but I can. I can see endless times for us if you want them.”

Time passes by. Real time with clocks that throw mental images at me for a future I’m not deserving of. They’re the same ones they always are with her. Home – a real one. Love – the real kind. Children now, too. I chuckle, stroking her hair lightly. Children mean fucking.

Lots of fucking.

And cutting.

And bleeding.

“I’ll still want your blood. Nothing’s changed there.”

“How romantic.”

She takes the ring off her finger, passes it to my hand. My whole body goes rigid, unsure what she’s doing. “Ask properly.”

“Still after the gentlemanly version?”

“Well it would be a shame to waste the suit.” I stand instantly, tipping her off my lap so she falls to the floor. The move takes us both back to a time where time didn’t matter, to a place where nothing mattered but my needs and her running from them.

I stare as she scuttles, rebalances, and stands straight up in front of me like she used to. Everything in me goes back there with her, back to my grandfather’s home and the opportunities that presents me with. It won’t be long. She knows that as much as I do. This clean version of me is, while relatively interesting, not forever. I don’t want it to be, and, if she’s honest she knows that. I’m not this person entirely. Never will be.

“Not today, Satan,” she says, staring at my eyes fiercely. “Maybe next week. Give me a chance to get ready for this freaky ass version again.”

“They’re one in the same. Always will be.”

“Maybe so, but not today. I’ll bleed some other time. You’ve got a job to do first.” She glances at the ring I’m holding. “Make it good.”

I do make it good. I make it good for her.

I get down on one knee like I should, and I say all the right words to let her know that she’s worthy of that and this is a choice she’s making. It doesn’t mean the same to me as it does to her. Her finding me meant more than this ring or these words ever could. She pushed down a barrier somehow, made me see life differently because of who she is. She fought like the tiger she is, and she protected me like no one ever has before her. I’ll do that for her now. I’ll make sure she never has to worry about a thing in life other than me. And, with time, perhaps she won’t have to worry about that either. Perhaps her love, and her loyalty will take something from me that I’ve lived with for a long time – desolation. Who knows, perhaps her morality can help change the world around us.

Or perhaps we’ll just exist as we do and I’ll live with that.

Either way. I found my thing worth living for.

And now my life begins.

The End