Page 11 of A Virgo’s Muse (BLP Signs of Love #12)

The TV was the only thing illuminating my room. The volume was low enough to drown out the silence but not enough to distract me from the pit growing in my stomach.

I had been trying to call Sade for the last hour. I had made back-to-back calls, texts, and even FaceTimes, but no answer. That wasn’t like her. She always picked up, especially when I was this hype.

I wanted to tell her everything—how Onyx came to my door last night looking like sex and secrets, how he planned this intimate date that turned into us painting each other, tasting wine off each other’s mouths, and eventually… making love right in the middle of my studio floor.

I’d had sex before. But that? That was something else. It was slow… intentional. It felt like Onyx touched every part of me that no one ever cared to find before.

And afterward, when I fell asleep on his chest, his arms were still wrapped around me like I was something to protect.

He stayed with me for a while that morning.

He helped me clean up the studio and kissed me like he hadn’t already spent the whole night worshiping me.

Then he was gone again, swallowed up by the outside world I still didn’t know much about.

Now, I was in my bed on my sixth call to Sade, chewing on my thumbnail and trying not to let anxiety win. I set the phone down, breathing through the frustration only for it to start buzzing again.

Unknown number.

My gut flipped.

“Hello?” I answered quickly.

“Hi, is this Desire Howard?”

“This is she.”

“This is Nurse Elridge from Merrburry Skilled Care. I need you to come in as soon as possible. It’s urgent.”

My stomach dropped so hard I felt like I might throw up.

“What’s going on? What happened?” I stood up mid-panic, pacing already. “Is it my mom? My dad? What happened!”

“I’m sorry. I can’t give details over the phone. But please get here as soon as you can.”

The call ended. I froze for a second. My heart raced. I threw on some sweats and a hoodie, snatched my keys off the dresser, and started to dial Sade again. Still nothing. That was when I called the only other person I trusted. Onyx answered on the second ring.

“Hey, baby. What’s up?”

His voice alone unraveled me. The moment I heard it, I broke down.

“They called me… The nursing home called.” I sobbed. “They wouldn’t tell me what happened, just that I need to get there immediately. I think it’s my mom, I don’t know. I’m scared, Onyx…”

His voice shifted in an instant calm, but sharp with concern. “Alright. I need you to listen to me, Desire. Send me the address, and I’m meeting you there. I’ll get there just as fast. But I need you to breathe, baby. Wipe your face and drive safe.”

“Okay,” I whispered, already crying harder.

“I mean it. I need you focused enough to get there in one piece.” His voice softened again. “I love you. I’ll see you there.”

He hung up, and it hit me he said he loved me. It wasn’t forced or wrapped in tension. It was clear and low and real. Even in the middle of all this panic, it pierced right through me.

By the time I got to the nursing home, my nerves were wrecked. I parked sloppily, jumped out the car, and rushed toward the building only to stop short when I felt someone behind me. Strong arms wrapped around my waist and pulled me in gently, and I knew that scent immediately. Onyx .

He didn’t say anything. He just held me and let me breathe him in. I felt grounded the moment I touched him.

We walked inside together with his hand at the small of my back, steadying me. We didn’t need to speak. He already knew to follow me to see where to go and not ask questions.

When we reached the room, I pushed the door open and froze. My father was sitting beside my mother’s bed. His head was down. His shoulders were hunched like the weight of the world had finally caught up to him. His eyes were bloodshot. His cheeks… wet.

“Daddy?” I whispered.

He looked up slowly. His voice cracked when he spoke. “She had a seizure… They said it lasted too long. She wasn’t getting enough oxygen to her brain.”

I moved into the room like I was sleepwalking. My mother laid there with wires everywhere and machines beeping quietly. Her chest rose and fell, but it didn’t look like her. Something was different… still.

“They don’t know the damage yet,” he continued. “They won’t until she wakes up…”

I didn’t even feel the sob coming until it was already out of me. My knees gave way, but Onyx caught me before I hit the floor.

He held me close, whispering into my hair, “She’s strong. She gon’ pull through. Just breathe, baby. I got you.”

I clung to him like a lifeline, feeling more broken than I had in years. Hours passed like minutes, but Onyx stayed.

He brought me water. Rubbed my back. Talked with the nurses when I couldn’t. Never once letting go of me. When my dad stepped outside to get air, Onyx finally leaned in closer, brushing my cheek with the back of his hand.

“I swear to you,” he whispered, “I’m not letting anything take you down. Not now. Not ever.”

And in that moment, I believed him. Even in the middle of all this pain… I believed him. The room had fallen into a hush, but my mind was screaming.

Machines beeped steadily behind me, a cruel reminder that my mother’s life was hanging on a wire. My father hadn’t returned yet, but Onyx stayed close steady, solid, warm.

His presence had been the only thing keeping me grounded… until my phone buzzed. I wasn’t even going to check it at first. My hands were trembling, and I could barely focus. But when I saw the name on the screen, Sade , my heart surged with relief. She finally texted back.

I opened it with shaky fingers, expecting a quick I’m okay or maybe even a voice note of her talking her shit like she always did, but what I saw stole the breath from my lungs.

The photo hit me first. Sade was naked and beaten, bruised and lying on a mattress like she had been discarded, like she was nothing.

Her face was swollen and lip busted. One eye barely open. My best friend looked unrecognizable.

I dropped the phone with a sharp cry, my entire body going cold.

“What is it?” Onyx stood quickly.

I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. He picked up the phone from the floor and looked at it, jaw tightening. His whole body stiffened. A muscle ticked in his cheek. Then he saw the message attached.

Do you really know the nigga you lay next to? This is his doing.

My world cracked wide open.

“You knew.” My voice was low and flat, almost childlike in confusion. “You knew she was missing, and you didn’t say anything.”

Onyx closed his eyes like he expected this moment, but that didn’t save him from the storm.

“I didn’t want to ruin the night we?—”

“The night we what?” I snapped, pushing up off the chair. “The night we made love? The night you held me like I was safe? You knew she was missing and still kissed me like you weren’t holding a loaded secret in your mouth!”

He tried to reach for me, but I pulled back so fast it was like his touch burned.

“Don’t.”

“Desire—”

“No! You don’t get to say my name like that right now!”

Everything was pouring out of me now. Not just the fear, not just the betrayal, but years of pain I had never let fully surface.

“My mom is in here hooked up to wires, fighting for her life. My best friend was taken and violated because of you, because of some street shit I didn’t ask to be a part of! And you?—”

I pointed at his chest, tears flooding my eyes.

“You just walked into my life like I was your peace, your little escape, while you got blood on your hands and demons trailing behind you! And now, they’re crawling into my life too!”

He didn’t move. He just let me scream… let me break.

“I thought you were my safe space, Onyx. But you’re the reason everything around me is falling apart.”

His voice was rough when he finally spoke. “I never meant for this to touch you. I tried to keep it away. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”

“But you should have! You should’ve told me something. You gave me your body, your time, your words… but you didn’t give me the truth. That’s not love. That’s control.”

Silence. Tension hung thick between us, coiling in the corners of the room like smoke from a fire we couldn’t put out.

“Get out,” I whispered.

He flinched. “Desire…”

“I said get out.” My voice broke completely. “I can’t breathe around you right now. I can’t see you without seeing her face.”

He hesitated, like it physically hurt him to leave. But then he nodded once.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “For all of it.”

Then he was gone. I collapsed back into the chair like my bones gave out. I didn’t even hear my dad come back in, but I felt his hand on my shoulder.

“You wanna talk?” he asked gently.

I shook my head. “No. Not really.”

He sat down beside me anyway. We both stared at my mom, machines humming around us. She looked like she was sleeping peacefully. But everything felt like a nightmare.

“I saw the way he held you,” my dad finally said. “And I saw the way you looked at him.”

Tears spilled again. I was tired of crying.

“He’s not who I thought he was,” I murmured.

My father leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “Baby… I can see the way he carries himself, how he tends to you, and that in itself is a prize. It takes a lot for a man like that to let his guard down… to love out loud.”

I turned to him, confused. “You’re defending him?”

“No. I’m reminding you that men deserve grace too. Just like women.”

He exhaled slowly.

“Yes, he was wrong for not telling you about his life. Yes, he should’ve protected you better. But I watched that man take care of you today like you were the most precious thing in the world. And I’ve been dreaming of that… of someone seeing you like that… since the day you were born.”

My heart cracked right down the middle.

“Love ain’t always clean, Desire. Sometimes, it’s born in mess. But if he’s the man I think he is… he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make this right.”

I cried harder then, because a part of me still wanted to believe that.

I wanted to believe that Onyx would fix this.

We’d find Sade. My mom would pull through.

But right now, everything hurt too much to hold on to hope.

So, I let myself fall into my father’s arms, and I cried for my mother.

I cried for Sade. I cried for the man who became my muse and the uncertainty that followed.