Page 47 of A Very Grumpy Father's Day
Epilogue
*Two Years Later*
BILLY: Sup, Manhattan and Irish? First brunch is at Flapjack Magee’s in Park Slope. Then we’re hitting up You Must Be Yolkin’ in Gowanus for wicked amazing omelets. Circle back to that Vietnamese place with the name that sounds like that word that means finding something good that you weren’t looking for? Starts with an S? Over by that place we had falafels at once when we went to Rockefeller Center. Then late lunch at my buddy Gary’s place in Queens. If we’re still hungry after that, I met a guy at the airport who has a hot dog cart on 5th Avenue by Central Park. Supposed to be the best in town. You like hot dogs, right, Dec?
NOLAN: What in the unholy maniacal feck are you even doing here, O’Sullivan?
DECLAN: Serendipity. The word you’re looking for is serendipity. That restaurant is an ice cream place for girls. And you’re joking, right?
BILLY: Hahahaha. Yeah, I’m just messing with you guys. I made up those restaurant names. But if you wanna go to Gary’s place for lunch, it’s a potluck—do not bring salad.
BILLY: I’m at home. I’m like the Olympic flame over here. I never go out.
BILLY: I still can’t believe I’m a dad.
DECLAN: No one can believe it, Billy. Absolutely no one. But we’re really happy for you.
NOLAN: Always concerned for your wife and baby, of course, but I’m delira and excira for ye.
BILLY: I can’t wait for him to be old enough for Play-Doh. That shit is delicious.
DECLAN: You know you can also use it as modeling clay, right? I’m wearing a pasta necklace and Froot Loops bracelet that Ciara made for me.
NOLAN: My girls made a glorious finger-painted portrait of me and surrounded it with potato-stamp shamrocks, hearts, devil horns, and brown bottles, which Cora said are whiskey.
DECLAN: Sounds like they really captured your essence. You getting any sleep, Billy?
BILLY: Nah. Too stoked. I just lie there thinking about how lucky I am. How come you guys never talk about how awesome all this is?
NOLAN: It is literally all we’ve talked about for years. You were just too busy listening to Chumbawamba to hear it.
DECLAN: That sounds like a metaphor, but it’s actually true.
BILLY: Hey, you guys are never gonna keep me down. This time next year we’re coming to New York and we’re all gonna have a ripper. It’ll be like old times, except with the wives and kids. But the kids won’t be drinking. Well, Ashton might.
NOLAN: You shut yer gob. Not til he’s fifteen.
DECLAN: Ciara wants more oatmeal and Kieran’s waking up, so I have to go. I let Maddie sleep in today. I’m basically a hero.
BILLY: Oh, smart. That might earn you a handy later.
DECLAN: Quickly you have learned, old Padawan.
BILLY: Well, Happy Father’s Day, kids.
NOLAN: Happy Father’s Day, lads.
DECLAN: Happy Father’s Day, everyone.