Page 12 of A Very Grumpy Father's Day

“She doesn’t cry because of me,” I growl. “She cries around me. Not the same thing. Gotta go. Say hi to Birdie for us. Say bye to Uncle Eddie, Ciara. Byeeee!”

I hang up on him before he starts doing a Shakespeare monologue.

Ciara is bawling her little eyes out before I’ve slid my phone back into my pocket.

“Aww, baby. What can I do? You wanna listen to some music? You wanna dance with Daddy? Let’s try that.” I attempt an Elmo voice: “Elmo wants to dance with Ciara! Yeah! Come on! Come on!”

As soon as I open up my Spotify app, I know what I have to do.

Anything.

I will do anything to make my daughter happy.