Page 40 of A Touch of Gold and Madness (Celestials of Arcadia #1)

Chapter 39

Gray

S omeone took a serrated dagger to my heart. Or so it felt.

How was I supposed to react to that kind of news? Becoming Endarkened was a fate far worse than death.

I immediately thought of the woman we’d faced back in the deserted small town. How her skin was gray—peeling—while blackish blood oozed from her decaying flesh. How mindless she had been.

The image of Chrome morphing into that rabid being, seeking only the next aura to consume…

Everything about him would be gone.

The thought wrung my insides more than I’d ever expected it to. There was clearly some type of connection between us that grew with each meeting, starting with our first encounter as children. I’d been resisting it because of my devotion to Slate.

A hand covered my mouth as I scanned the hopeless expression on his crestfallen face. This was the weight on his shoulders he carried with dignity and strength. The weight he hid from the world. Tears welled up in my eyes again. “No,” I whispered. “There has to be some other way… ”

Chrome cupped my cheek, severing my hope with an apology sitting heavy in his eyes. “No, Rainbow. There’s not. I’ve been fighting it off, but I don’t know for how much longer.”

“How bad is it? Where are you in the process?” I dared to ask, not really wanting to know the answer.

Chrome pursed his lips and closed his eyes, struggling to swallow. “I’m in the second phase. I only have one more time before I’m gone.”

I exhaled a suffocating, shaky breath, as if all oxygen was being devoured in a vacuum. “Fuck,” I said. “How have you held out this long? It’s unheard of.”

Chrome shrugged. “I had a lot to live for. But I’m not going anywhere until those three are dead and the Elementals are in good hands.”

“Is that what the drinking is about?” I asked, ignoring the possibility of him not being around after we achieved our goals.

Chrome nodded, his thumb rubbing gently against my cheekbone. “Yeah, that…and other extreme recreational activities help numb the craving enough to where I can have some clarity to my thoughts. The cravings …” He shuddered. “God, Gray. It’s unbearable. The withdrawals, too. You saw what they do.”

I recalled the sweaty, clammy skin, the shaking, chattering, fidgeting, and, of course, his paranoia that night. “Is it like that all the time? Or does it just come in waves?”

“The cravings are always there. The thought of depleting someone and becoming powerful enough to wipe out the Kinetic kingdom alone is so fucking enticing. I have this voice, Grim’s voice, always taunting me to succumb to the call. Always telling me shit that makes me feel like I’d be better off Endarkened. He threatens and…” he stopped.

The warmth of his hand left my cheek, replaced by the chilled bite from a breeze. “That’s what happened that night? Back at that house?”

Chrome nodded again. “Yeah, I was having a pretty bad episode that night until you walked in… ”

I frowned and shook my head. “I don’t understand. How do I help?” My ass was going numb from the hard ground, so I adjusted to where I perched on my knees. Only an inch separated us.

Chrome offered a resigned smile. “I don’t know, but your presence eases the withdrawals. Touching you takes it away somehow while also bringing back memories that the devolution process steals from you. I don’t know. Perhaps it’s a hybrid thing…”

I pondered over his outward thoughts. He’d never fallen prey to these fits around me during our journey to the Perry Hollow. However, every time I found him in that state, it wasn’t long before his condition improved.

“Well, perhaps if we stick together, we can find a way to beat this?” I asked, a tiny spark of hope igniting in my chest. It was a dangerous emotion I didn’t indulge in often, but I’d already lost Slate. I didn’t want to lose something with potential before it even began.

A devious smile tilted upward. “I knew you couldn’t get enough of me, little savage. I guess all I needed was a sob story to keep you around.”

I punched him in the arm, not holding back. He laughed, deep and throaty, with his head tipped toward the moon. A hand nursed the biceps I’d struck.

“Not funny, asshole,” I said, pointing an accusing finger at him with a sharp glare.

After he regained himself, he zeroed in on me again. “I know. But I won’t object to spending more time with you.”

My heartbeat faltered at his words and the emotions emanating from him. I gulped. “Who else knows about this?”

“No one. Only those who witnessed me…” Chrome squeezed his eyes shut to ward off the memories. “Just you, Princess.”

“I won’t tell anyone.” In the meantime, I’d search for a way to fix this. “If you start experiencing the physical withdrawal symptoms, you have my permission to touch me.”

Shit. I bit my lip and winced at my insinuating delivery.

Someone fucking come get me. Now .

Chrome’s quicksilver eyes swirled with a tempestuous heat, like molten lava. His nostrils flared. In a tone that came from his chest, he said, “I’m going to need you to clarify what you mean by ‘ touch you .’ Because I’m going to be honest, Gray. There’s a million ways I want to touch you. And none of them are innocent.”

Oh.

My core bottomed out. I shook my head, trying to gain control of my libido. How long had it been? Too long now. I wasn’t a virgin, and I’d be damned if I was going to act like one.

I tilted my head to the side, pretending to scrutinize him. When, in actuality, I was trying to slow my heart rate and shut down my raging hormones. The images of Chrome touching me, kissing me, pinning me to a bed…a wall…a godsdamn tree…would not go away, no matter how much I willed it.

“What are my emotions telling you?” My voice dipped lower. I knew he could feel them still. I could feel his, but mine were much louder.

Chrome smirked. “That you want more than just innocent touches.” He narrowed in on my lips. “If you keep biting your lip like that…”

I popped my lip from between my teeth, unaware I’d been doing that. His lips were only a breath away from mine. My heart sped up in anticipation, waiting for the brush of his lips and whatever else would follow.

I didn’t breathe as he leaned in, fingers weaving through my hair and gripping it with a gentle firmness. He angled my head, making me look into those eyes that said everything. It hit every emotional chord that sat dangling from fringed strings.

It was too much. As much as I wanted to give in to the moment with Chrome, I couldn’t. I wasn’t ready. I still felt like I’d be betraying Slate.

I dropped my gaze and let out the breath I’d been holding. Our knees were now touching, and I was unsure when that had happened, too.

Chrome understood. He loosened his grip on my hair and pulled away, giving me space. I was ashamed to look at him. “I’m sorry,” I said, finding a blade of grass on the ground and focusing on it.

“No,” he said. The authority he held as the leader of Elementals rang deep in his voice. “Gray, look at me.”

I did.

Understanding and empathy cascaded in smooth waves in the metallic irises. “Don’t ever, and I mean never , apologize for that. I would never guilt you for owning your body.” He understood what it meant to not have control over his. “I feel your emotions. You wouldn’t be betraying him for being…intimate…with someone else, but I understand if you’re not ready. I will never fault you for that.”

My heart squeezed at the pure compassion and understanding in his expression and emotions. Underlying guilt echoed through the connection, which intensified my own for turning him down. My eyes welled up with warm tears. “It’s just that…” I trailed off and stared into the shadowed tree line in the distance. “It’s not that I haven’t been with anyone since he died. Because I have—several times—but they were never more than that. There were no emotional ties,” I explained. I shuddered a breath. “But to sleep with someone I might actually care about? That feels like a betrayal. It feels like I’m forgetting about him. Like I’m saying he was never here.”

I wrapped my arms around my torso, hugging myself. “Plus, all of this has just been so much, so fast. Just a few days ago, I wanted you dead. Like…dead, dead . As dead as you want my father.”

Chrome grinned. “Oh, I know. I felt that in the speakeasy. Your rage is such a turn-on.”

I huffed out a laugh. “Everything is flipped upside down, and I’m trying to go with the changes. I think I just need to adjust to my new reality.” I lifted an eyebrow. “At least I don’t hate you anymore. That’s saying a lot.”

Chrome puffed his chest out with pride. “What can I say? I’m quite the catch.”

I couldn’t help but giggle. “You’re not too bad,” I said with a shrug. “But I meant what I said. I’m going to help you discover a way out of the Endarkening process. You don’t deserve to suffer this fate, Chrome.”

Chrome sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. A chill breezed between us, and he tossed his hood up. The leaves rustled, and trees swayed, surrounding the field with giant dancing shadows. “There’s no one who’s ever escaped the Endarkening process. I’m lucky to have made it this far. I’ve accepted it, Gray. But if I’m going down, those motherfuckers are going down with me.”

Did I really have time to sit around and wait? No, I refused to accept that he wouldn’t be around. I changed direction. “So, do you really think this connection between us relates to being hybrids?”

Chrome hesitated before answering me. He chewed his lip as he stared into the darkness surrounding us. “It’s my best guess,” he said. “What I do know is that we share a bond. It’s called the Twin Soul Bond. I don’t know everything about it, just that we share two halves of the same soul that go back for lifetimes.” He scratched his stubbled jaw before taking a deep breath. “I’ve always been able to feel it because my Elemental side hasn’t been suppressed like yours. Both sides of our natures needed to be awakened and active in order to feel it. That day on the playground changed everything for both of us. I think our bond awakened at our contact that day, which manifested your magic and my Kinetic powers.”

I froze. “What do you mean? I awakened my magic when I was thirteen.”

Chrome snorted. “No, Princess. You didn’t.”

“Explain.”

Chrome took a deep breath. “Later that day, when we’d been sent home from school, I had my consequences to deal with. But I felt something tug on my heart like a chord was attached to it, and whatever was on the other end jerked it taut. Then, I was hit with another set of emotions that were foreign, distant, feminine.” He pivoted his gaze back onto me again before continuing, “It was this intense fear that didn’t belong to me. Then, suddenly, the fear morphed into empowerment, into complete confidence and control. Then, anger, which led to this powerful explosion of air magic I felt in a secondhand way. Immediately, the fear returned, followed by confusion,” he explained. His dark brows pulled together as he revisited the memory.

Something within me told me it was true, even if I couldn’t remember it .

Perhaps it was my element confirming it as it stirred excitedly. Chrome had mentioned he believed someone had wiped my memories of what happened to me that day. So, I supposed it was possible.

“I wish I could remember,” I said, pinching the bridge of my nose as if I could squeeze the memories back into my brain.

Those molten eyes swirled viciously. “We’ll figure something out. I just know that after that day, if I was in your near vicinity, I’ve always felt your emotions. I’ve felt everything.”

“Oh, god.” I buried my face in my palm. “That’s awkward.”

Chrome chuckled. “No, not at all.”

“So, after freeing my Elemental form yesterday, I’m now able to feel your emotions, it seems.”

“Looks that way. But I think when I go into my episodes, that it blocks it off from you. Like I’m losing my connection to the soul bond because of those parts of myself that are declining into devolution. My memories begin to fade, the good ones, because memories are attached to emotions that are engraved in our essence. Losing those alters me in the worst ways,” Chrome said, sadness creeping into his voice.

“We’ll figure it out,” I repeated.

He nodded. “We need to figure out what this bond is capable of. Clearly, it affects our magic. We opened a fucking portal, Gray. Orion and I suspected they existed, but what happened with the beastie-bear caught me off-guard. If we can do that,” he said, pondering out loud. “Then, I wonder what we can do to put an end to Forest.”

I sat up straighter, observing the wheels turning in his mind. “My father fucked up when he created us. His ultimate ambition will be his downfall,” I said, balling my hands into tight fists by my side. “How fucking poetic.”

We arrived back at the lodge to a group of warriors ready to spread out and assess, but they relaxed upon seeing us enter through the front doors. Orion and River made a beeline for us without hesitation.

I remembered the whole reason I left to begin with. Fuck.

“Where the hell have you two been? We’ve been searching everywhere. We were about to go on a battle-ready search party,” River scolded, chastising us with her intensity and sharp glare.

Chrome quirked an eyebrow at her, and she backed down a fraction, remembering who she was talking to. “They left. Gone. It’s safe. I secured the wards.”

I looked up at him from my side, wondering when he might’ve done that, but I wouldn’t question him in front of everyone.

River flitted her scrutinizing stare back and forth between us. “Good. I’ll pass word along to Onyx for them to stand down.” She turned and stalked back to the group of awaiting men and women as she sought out the starlight-haired Kinetic.

I spotted Kodiak and Void among the group. Void gazed straight through me. His thick locs were pulled half up while knives, daggers, and throwing stars adorned his waist and chest. He’d strapped a hefty bow to his back, joined by a quiver of arrows.

Orion remained before us in River’s wake, trying to assess what had transpired. “Everything okay?” His turquoise gaze questioned Chrome.

Chrome smiled reassuringly before peering down his shoulder at me. “Yeah,” he said. I nodded to him before he proceeded, “I think all is going to be okay, Uncle.”

Orion beamed at me. His sandy blond hair was sticking up on the sides. Onyx must’ve roused him from bed. Oops. “Great. I’m relieved to hear it.” He flashed me a subtle wink, no doubt referring to our conversation by the lake.

I offered an awkward smile and glanced away to study the expansive oak tree protruding from the floor in the common area.

“Harlow returned earlier, and she has some news regarding Sergeant Hogan,” Orion began, referring to Kodiak’s sister who served as the emissary for the Hollow. Apparently, she had just returned with information about the human militia leader. “Her source says he’s in possession of something vital to stopping Forest from ascending to the next realm,” Orion explained, mainly looking at Chrome, but he cast pointed glances at me as well.

Chrome stiffened and then scanned the dispersing crowd of warriors. He nodded. “Let’s meet in your office.”

Orion dipped his head before turning on his heel and striding toward the stairs.

I leaned into Chrome. “Am I welcome at this meeting?”

He made a face, suggesting I’d asked an absurd question. “Obviously.” Then he placed a gentle hand between my shoulder blades, urging me to follow Orion.

We weaved through the crowd of Elementals. I kept my chin high and dared a glance at the others as we passed. I assumed they’d be shooting me distrustful looks. So, surprise filled me when I was met with awestruck expressions instead.

I angled my head toward Chrome in question. He smiled in understanding. Leaning down, he murmured in my ear, “You’re not just my Rainbow. You’re theirs, too.”

I wasn’t sure what to make of that. In my experience, people at large weren’t fond of me, much less looked to me for hope. It was overwhelming knowing so many believed I could be the saving grace of our world.

Back in Orion’s office, Chrome sat beside me in the empty seat to my right rather than insisting on standing the entire time.

Orion offered us a drink, and we both declined. I’d had my share earlier. As for Chrome, I think he enjoyed not needing to be drunk in order to be functional .

I was exhausted—mentally and emotionally drained, to be exact. I pushed through the fog to learn what Orion had gleaned in recent hours.

“So, what did Harlow learn?” Chrome asked. He sat alert and poised to take in the news.

Orion gulped down the brown liquor, the glass thunking against the oak desk. “Through her close contact, Jensen, she was able to get Sergeant Hogan’s location at last.”

The name Jensen sounded oddly familiar. I racked my brain trying to place it. It hit me, “Jensen? That’s the runner at the—”

“The speakeasy where you tried to slit my throat? Yes, little savage, that’s the one,” Chrome cut in, drawling with an amused grin.

I snorted, shaking my head but otherwise keeping silent, ignoring the heated reaction my body had to his seductive tone.

Orion bit his cheeks to hide his smile, but the twinkle in his sea-green eyes gave him away. “Anyway,” he said. “She met him at his current scorse location. His scouts and spies reported that Forest plans to make a move—and fast. He’s desperately searching for the location of this Hollow. He knows you run it, Chrome.” Orion trained a pointed look at Chrome and then swiveled that gaze to me. “Gray, he’s searching for you, too. He suspects you’ve met up with Chrome. It seems he doesn’t want either of you dead, after all. Now that he’s expediting his plans, he will stop at nothing to have you both brought to him alive.”

Orion sighed and leaned back in his seat. “Harlow also mentioned there’s a book. A book about both Elementals and Kinetics origins. It’s been lost to our kind for millennia. No one in our recent generations knows it even exists because it fell into the humans’ hands long ago for protection. Now, Hogan and his clan are charged with its safekeeping. Harlow’s source didn’t say how they retrieved it, only that it was a top-priority mission of theirs.”

Chrome leaned forward and narrowed his eyes at Orion, listening intently. I combed through my memories for any mention of a book that matched Orion’s description. Nothing was there. This was brand-new information to me. And by the looks of it, it was for Chrome, too .

“Roughly translated, it’s titled The Book of the Arcane ,” Orion said, falling into a teacher mode that seemed so natural for him. “According to Hogan, it holds the key to stopping Forest’s plans. It has all the knowledge our kind has sought for so long regarding our origins, our purpose, the Endarkened, and many other secrets. If it fell into the wrong hands, then…” He didn’t need to finish.

My head snapped up at the mention of the Endarkened. I dared a sideways glance at Chrome. He sat motionless. I wondered if he was even breathing.

“So, we retrieve the book from Hogan in the morning,” Chrome said, leaving no room for debate.

Orion leaned forward, propping his weight on his forearms on the desk. “We would, but Sergeant Hogan insisted we wait a few months. He’s moving his militia to their underground compound. And since our emissary was recently at his current location, it isn’t safe to visit the same location twice. It increases the risk of exposure to scouts, which could blow everything.”

Chrome closed his eyes and dropped his neck to the side. Loud pops rippled down it before he repeated the same motion on the other side. “A few months? That’s asking a lot.” He sighed. “But we leave as soon as it’s safe.”

Orion cleared his throat. “He also said he’d come to us. Figures the travel will be more discreet that way. He can bring the tome and only a handful of his most trusted confidants,” he explained. “There’s one more thing. The militia’s intel gathered more information on Forest.” He poured another glass of liquor, the pungent smell wafting to my nose.

The knuckles on Chrome’s fingers were white as he squeezed the wooden armchair. “And?”

Orion took a casual sip. “And he’s received an ancient book of his own. Apparently, he’s been developing a backup plan in the event you two died before he could use you. We still don’t know precisely what he seeks. But it’s believed that it’s detailed in the Book of the Arcane .” He raised his brows and glanced between us. His gaze lingered on Chrome, a disapproving expression crossing his face.

I studied them, trying to figure out what wasn’t being said and what I was missing. “What? What are you not telling me?”

Chrome sighed, rubbing his palms over his face. Orion looked at him expectantly, crossing his arms. “Yes, Chrome. Do share with the princess the vital information you’ve been withholding.”

“Excuse me?” I turned to face Chrome. How much more new information was he going to reveal to me in one night? How much more was he hiding?

Chrome shot an accusing glare at Orion before sitting back and facing me head-on. “The realm that Forest seeks to enter is called Arcadia. What he may or may not know is that if he opens the veil separating the two worlds, it won’t just be a portal. It’ll collapse the veil between here and Arcadia. Seeing as Arcadia is the dimension that sits right above ours, separated only by the thin veil, that would mean that without it, our worlds would be combined, with Arcadia plopping right on top of us.”

I gave Chrome a blank expression. “And you’re just now telling me this because…”

“Because there’s more that ties into it.”

“For fuck’s sake.” I looked up at the ceiling, my chest tight.

“Arcadia is a magical realm, but not a pure one anymore. It’s full of dark magic, cast by these sorceresses and sorcerers called Tempests. They practice blood magic, and their power feeds off the magic of other beings, leaving behind a poison on everything it depletes, including wildlife and nature. The realm is decaying from the lack of magic. If Arcadia merges with our world, that would leave us vulnerable for the Tempests to deplete from.” “That sounds like the—”

“The Endarkened. We think there’s a connection,” Chrome finished for me.

“Who is ‘we’? ”

Chrome’s shoulders tensed, hesitating. “I have a confidential source. I can’t reveal who they are. But they are relaying me information about Arcadia.”

“How?”

With another sigh, he said, “I can’t go into that. But they have connections with your father.”

“Do I know them?”

Orion cleared his throat. “There’s more you should know, Gray,” he interrupted, dipping his head at Chrome, indicating for him to continue.

I bet I knew his contact. The question was, who was it ? “What?”

“Forest has been involved with the Tempests since before we were born. Our births were orchestrated in order to open this portal. I only have very limited information on the Twin Soul Bond, but I’m positive he knows more. And I bet he’s been allowing us to use our bond to unknowingly weaken the veil for him like we did with the beastie-bear.” When I didn’t answer, he continued, “It makes sense that he went to great lengths to keep us apart when I lived at the palace. Perhaps his plan wasn’t ready, so he manipulated us until the time was right.”

I felt numb. What the hell had my life become?

Orion spoke again, “While we will soon have the Book of the Arcane that will provide us with more answers and clarity, it should be known that Harlow informed me that Forest also has a book. I presume it came from these Tempests. It’s a dark tome. According to Hogan, their intel gathered that, through the tome, it’d be easier to open the portal if he had one of you, but it’d be more efficient to have you both. A higher success rate. However, it can be done without you altogether. It would simply take longer and be much harder to achieve.”

I could no longer focus on all the lies and secrets regarding me and my origins. All I could do was focus on what could be controlled. “This three - month wait will allow us to test what this bond of ours is capable of. We can learn to control it and prepare for the worst. Use it to our advantage.”

Orion nodded. “That sounds like an excellent idea, Gray. ”

“I’ll talk to the others. We’ll increase training for everyone in the Hollow and stock up on the antidote while we wait for Hogan’s arrival. We need to be prepared for an attack since it seems Forest suspects Gray and I have linked up,” Chrome added.

I felt Chrome’s piercing stare willing me to look at him. I refused. I wasn’t sure how I felt toward him at the moment after the rollercoaster of emotions tonight. A simmering hint of vengeance belied his exterior. His internal emotions, however, were a raging inferno, threatening to burn the world to the ground. He wasn’t fucking around. And I’d be lying if I said the anticipation of mass bloodshed didn’t thrill me, too.