Page 34 of A Touch of Darkness (Chronicles of the Cursed #1)
The fire murmurs low in the hearth, shadows waltzing along the cold, austere edges of the study. The scent of burning wood lingers, mingling with the faint musk of old leather and parchment. I loiter at the window, my gaze lost to the moon’s glow, though I find no solace in its pale, indifferent light. The cool glass presses against my palm, grounding me in the present, though my thoughts drift to her—to Seraphina.
The name feels like a ghost on my tongue, a relic of a life both hers and not hers. Sylvie has needed time to wrestle with it, to come to terms with the weight I have placed upon her, though every moment apart has been a blade to my own chest. I know what she is facing—the storm within her, the questions clawing at the edges of her mind. I want to take it from her, to shield her from the burden.
But fate is cruel, and I am no savior.
It’s been two days since I told her.
I have stayed away because I must. Yet it has not been enough to silence the longing—how it gnaws, a beast in my chest, ravenous and unrelenting.
The air shifts behind me, subtle yet undeniable, like the faint rustle of leaves in a still forest. Her scent fills the room—wildflowers, vanilla, and something I cannot name but would kill to hold forever. My fingers twitch against the windowpane as I close my eyes and inhale her.
My name falls from her lips, a whisper cutting through the silence.
“Lucian.”
I turn to face her, and the sight of her roots me to the spot. She is pale, her eyes shadowed with the bulk of her thoughts, her lips pressed together as though holding back words that might shatter the very walls around us. Despite it all, she is still the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes upon.
The faint tremor of her breath carries across the room. It’s almost imperceptible, but I feel it like a faint pulse against my skin. She hasn’t left my home—not because I forbade her, not necessarily, but because the outside world is no longer safe for her. I may have also strongly advised her against it. My greatest fear is they will get to her again, will take her. And this time, she might not escape. She was lucky to escape the first time, as was I. Although, was it luck or was it just her? She discovered the depths of her magic in that chamber. I shouldn’t doubt that she could do it again, but at what cost?
Her gaze is unwavering as she steps further into the room, her boots clicking softly against the polished floor. The heat of her presence presses against me, and I am painfully aware of how she carries herself—too poised for someone so tormented. But I know. I see the rawness in her eyes, the tightness in her shoulders that betrays her. She’s struggling, and I am helpless to ease it. It’s a pain that’s nearly unbearable.
“I found something the other day that I didn’t get to tell you,” she says, her voice steady despite the turmoil brewing beneath the surface. She holds a piece of paper in her hand, crinkled with haste, its edges worn, as though it has been gripped tightly for hours. As if she’s read it over and over again.
She unfolds it, her fingers trembling slightly, and I watch her closely, every moment etched into my mind. The soft rustle of the paper is deafening in the quiet room.
Her voice cuts through the silence, softer now, as though testing the air between us. “I wrote it down on the paper in the room. I just don’t trust myself to remember it. There’s so much going on…” She trails off. “The Solstice Society… Their rituals. Symbols. They need my blood, which we’ve known, but there’s more. Despite needing my virgin blood…I must give it willingly .” She swallows, the words thunderous with something I can’t quite place. Fear, perhaps. “I think that’s why they tried to lure me in at first. Tried to gain my trust. Because the blood they need from me…it must be given willingly.”
The tremor in her voice tightens something in my chest. My jaw clenches, the faint prick of my fangs pressing against my tongue as fury simmers beneath my calm exterior. I hate that she’s being used as a pawn in their game.
“They checked. To make sure I was…pure.” She falters, and for a moment, I almost wish I could take the burden from her—erase the memory from her mind, hold her in the dark of this room and promise her there’s nothing left to fear. But I can’t.
I’ve known she was a virgin since the night she first came here. When she watched me fuck that vampire who I haven’t had the desire to see since. I could smell it. Her virginity. It’s made me ravenous, but I’ve had to hold back. It’s the right thing to do, and after so many years of doing the wrong thing, I owed it to her.
The words she speaks, though, cut deeper than any wound: “If I lose my virginity… they would have no use for me anymore, Lucian. They need my virgin blood, and they need it willingly in order to go through with their plan.”
A silence stretches between us from the gravity of her revelation.
If I were less, if I were simply a man with no past to tether me, I would have claimed her already. Here, now, on this very desk. I would have worshipped her, devoured her, made her mine until the stars burned out.
But she is not just anyone. She is everything .
And the thought of defiling her with my own selfish hunger makes me loathe the very blood that sustains me.
Still, her words linger, a sharp blade twisting. The notion of her giving herself to another, of her purity tainted by some faceless, undeserving fool, ignites a fury I struggle greatly to contain. My chest tightens, the ache of my fangs unbearable.
I want to tell her there’s another way, a way out of this nightmare she’s stumbled into, but I know too well how their plans work. The Society would never stop, despite her losing her virginity. They’d just find another way, another pawn, another way to break the curse and kill my kind.
She takes a step closer, the warmth of her body a subtle caress against my heightened senses. Her voice trembles, carrying with it the rawness of her torment.
“But Lara…”
The question hangs in the air, sharp with her dread. She’s terrified of what it means for Lara.
“If I don’t give them what they want, what happens to her?”
The thought of losing her to their games, their collusions, sets something in me afire.
“You don’t know, do you?” she adds, her voice trembling, and I hate it. I hate that she’s caught in the middle of this. That they’ve drawn her into a web with no easy escape.
“What if losing my virginity will save Lara? What if they let her go?” Her words are barely above a whisper, the hope flickering in her eyes like a candle ready to go out. “But what if it doesn’t? What if it makes it worse? What if I make things worse?”
She’s spiraling, and I can feel it, a whirlpool pulling her deeper into uncertainty. My instincts scream at me to pull her away from this, to protect her from everything, but I know better.
I step closer, my hand hovering near hers, aching to reach for her, but holding myself back. She doesn’t need my touch right now.
“You don’t have the answers, Sylvie. None of us do. We only know so much about the curse and about how Solstice plans to break it,” I say, my voice low, an edge of something darker slipping in. I know it’s not just about the ritual—it’s about the trust she’s placing in me, in this broken, ancient world that has already taken so much from her.
“If you want to break their hold on Lara, we’ll find a way that doesn’t include forcing you into fucking some random person in order to lose your virginity. But don’t rush into this. We need to think, to plan.” I can feel my restraint waning, like the last thread holding back a violent chaos. The temptation to tell her to do whatever it takes, to act on her own impulse, is overwhelming. But I can’t.
She is not just anyone else.
And the thought of her giving herself to another, of losing that purity for reasons beyond our control, is agony to me. My fangs nearly pop, and I just barely hold them back as anger churns in my chest at the thought of her with anyone other than me.
“You don’t need to be their pawn, Sylvie. Not anymore. Not after everything you’ve already been through. You’re much too strong for that.” My voice cracks, raw, and for a moment I forget who I am—forget my own hunger, my own desire to make her mine. I just want her to be free.
She looks at me then, and there’s a sadness in her eyes that nearly breaks me. She knows what I’m holding back, but she’s still lost in the labyrinth of her own confusion.
“I could easily lose my virginity, Lucian,” she says quietly, and her words break something inside me. “I just worry about the repercussions.”
I close the distance between us, my hand gently brushing against hers, and my breath hitches as she looks up into my eyes. She is everything beautiful in this world.
Despite my growing desire, despite my desperate, insatiable need to claim her, I restrain myself.
“Then we find another way,” I whisper, my voice filled with a promise I am terrified to break. I look into her eyes, my words carrying the weight of all that I’ve kept buried for so long. “This is what we were meant for, Sylvie. Across lifetimes. Again and again. We can figure this out, but it’ll take both of us. The Society is no match, not when we’re together. Not when both of us are willingly working against them—to end all of this.”
She looks at me like she’s just had a brilliant thought, but she’s holding back. She doesn’t release it freely to me, only looks at me with a sly smile, one I’d love to kiss off her face.
“What is it?” I ask, her silence piquing my curiosity.
Her gaze lingers on mine, but it’s more than curiosity that stirs in her eyes. There’s something else, something barely contained, and I feel it like a current between us, a pull I can’t resist.
She holds her thoughts tight, her lips curling in a way that makes my heart thunder, that clever smile of hers a challenge I’m not sure I’m prepared for. If she only knew how much it stirs something darker in me, something primal that wishes to take all of her, to lock her away in a world of just the two of us.
But I can’t. Not yet. Not like this.
“What is it?” I ask again, my voice softer, coaxing, though it belies the unrest rising within me.
She doesn’t answer immediately. The silence stretches between us, thick with anticipation, as she continues to ruminate. I see the way her fingers twitch, the way she holds herself just so—as if she’s about to reveal the universe or keep it hidden forever.
“I have an idea,” she says, her voice laced with uncertainty, but her eyes betray her. I know she’s already started to form something, a plan of her own, and my heart quickens at the thought of her taking control. Not just of her destiny, but of ours.
“And what is that?” My tone is quiet now, but I’m on edge, desperate for her to lay it bare. To let me see inside her mind, even though I know it will mean facing a future I can’t fully predict.
She steps closer, her breath warm on my skin. The proximity should be maddening, but it only sharpens my focus on her—on her every word, every movement.
“I think…” She trails off, her eyes flickering to the floor before returning to me, almost like she’s trying to gauge how much I can handle.
“If we’re truly meant to end this,” she continues, her voice steady, “then maybe the answer isn’t to fight them with force. If my virginity is the key to their plans, then I want to wield it as a weapon, not a weakness.”
Her words hit me like a strike of lightning—sharp, electric. My pulse races, every part of me waking to the possibility she’s offering, and I know she’s right. She has the power to shift fate on her own terms. She always has.
My eyes lock on hers, and for a heartbeat, I think I can hear the echoes of all the mistakes and the regrets and the things we’ve left unsaid. But this time... this time will be different.
I can see it in her eyes—she’s not just talking about altering our fates. She’s talking about taking control.
But there's more. I can feel it, like the pulse of some hidden truth just beyond the reach of my understanding.
She takes a step closer, and the air between us hisses with expectation. I can smell her, taste the subtle warmth of her skin on my expectant tongue, and it drives me mad with desire, with something else, something darker that lingers beneath the surface.
Her voice drops to a whisper, barely audible. “Lucian,” she breathes, “there’s something I need from you.”
I don't answer immediately. I can’t. Every muscle in my body is taut, poised like a bowstring drawn too tight. But I know—I know—that whatever she says next will be the moment that defines us, that will carry us toward whatever future we’re about to choose.
“Take my virginity, Lucian,” she says, each word a quiet strike to the chest. “You’re the only one who can. It has to be you.” She pauses. “I want it to be you.”
The words slice through me like a blade, a maelstrom of emotions, of ancient cravings and desires long buried. But I force myself to listen, to hold steady. Her eyes are unwavering, and I know that what she’s asking of me is not just for her—it’s for us, for Lara, and for the fate of everything.
“We can find another way, Sylvie,” I tell her, wanting her so ungodly badly but not wanting her to lose her own autonomy over this.
She shakes her head, silence lingering between us.
The urge to flat out refuse—to protect her from this, from me—rises within me, but I suppress it. I know this is her choice, her sacrifice, and if this is the way forward, then who am I to deny it?
“You don’t understand,” I murmur, struggling to make sense of it all. “This is more than just blood. It’s…” I can’t finish. I’m losing myself in her, in the depths of her request. She’s asking me for something I should never want, not like this. But I do. Fuck, I do.
Her eyes harden, and the fire in her gaze is sharper than I’ve ever seen it before. “Don’t. Don’t make this harder than it has to be. I don’t want to hear anything other than ‘yes.’”
I feel a rush of heat through my veins, my mind spinning as the full implications of her words hit me. I know this will change everything. I know it will bind us together in ways I can’t even begin to comprehend.
Her words sear me, sharp and unrelenting, leaving me exposed in a way I haven’t been in centuries. She doesn’t realize what she’s asking—or maybe she does, and that’s what makes it worse. I step back, the motion instinctive, as if distance might somehow dull the pull between us. It doesn’t.
Every beat of her heart feels like it’s inside me, reverberating against the brittle armor I’ve spent lifetimes forging. Her scent, her presence—it’s all-consuming. I’ve known temptation, I’ve been ruled by it before, but this is something else. This is unraveling.
I tell myself it’s to protect her, that my refusal is a mercy. But that’s a lie, isn’t it? I’m afraid—afraid of what it will mean if I give in. That I’ll never get enough of her.
But isn’t that how it’ll be anyway?
My gaze drops to her lips, parted just enough to betray the tremor in her breath. She’s waiting. Trusting. And I feel it—her faith in me, blind and unearned. It’s suffocating.
The past claws at me, unbidden and merciless. Seraphina’s face rises in my mind, her eyes wide with pain and fury as I destroyed everything she believed in. I damned her, as surely as I’ve damned myself.
“I want this, Lucian. And even more, I need this. I have a plan, but it will only work if you take my virginity. No one can know. Not a soul. Otherwise, this won’t work.”
She’s right. The Society can never know.
Not a single soul can know.
And I understand, with the clarity of centuries, what she’s asking of me. It’s not just about her blood, not anymore. It’s about control. The Society will never suspect that the only two people who could stop them are the ones who’ve already defied fate, and now they are bound by something that cannot be undone.
“Okay,” I say, the words leaving my mouth before I can second-guess them.
I cannot deny her.
The relief that washes over her face is immediate, but it's quickly replaced by something more determined. Something resolute.
Her hands find mine, her fingers curling around my wrist with a strength I never expected from her.
“I’ll go back to them,” she whispers, almost to herself. “I’ll give them my blood—willingly—but only after I’ve traded it for Lara. That’s the only way this works. They’ll never know.”
She takes a deep breath, and I feel the weight of her decision settle into her bones. “When I give them my blood, it won’t be pure anymore. It won’t matter. They won’t know what’s missing because they’re too blinded by their own rituals. But we have to get to her first. I can’t risk all of this backfiring.”
I close my eyes, trying to absorb everything she’s saying. The Society—their entire plan is based on her blood, her purity. But Sylvie’s ready to break that, to make sure her sacrifice means something more. She’s offering them a version of herself that will never be pure, and the Society will never even realize the change. She’ll walk into their lair as a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
And once her blood is exchanged for Lara’s, nothing they try can stop us. Maybe they’ll try to find a new way to break the curse, but it will take them years just as it’s taken them this time. They’ll have to go back to the beginning—start all over.
"We’ll get her back," I say, my voice firm with resolve. "We’ll take her from them. Together. I will do this, but we do it together. You aren’t going in alone. We’ll come up with a plan to keep everyone involved safe."
She nods, a subtle but powerful affirmation. She’s made her choice. And in this moment, everything is aligned. The weight of it all presses in, but I know, with a certainty that’s impossible to deny, that this is the path we’ll take.
Her breath catches, but there’s no fear in it, no hesitation. Only a quiet strength I can’t ignore.
And when she looks at me, her gaze no longer just a reflection of the battle within her, but something else—something shared between us—I know that the time for waiting is over.