Page 23 of A Touch of Darkness (Chronicles of the Cursed #1)

If I’m being honest, I was worried Solstice would refuse to let me leave. I don’t think they see me refusing to join them, though. Part of me feels like they think they’re above it all. Nicole and Rebecca’s spellwork on me made me feel a bit safer, and they knew where I was if they needed to get to me. But I was still a little surprised that Solstice let me walk out without any sort of commitment.

The visit doesn’t make me feel any better about the group as a whole, especially after having some time to reflect on just how much Amara avoided giving me any straight answers. After that meeting, I’m standing firm in my belief that I can’t trust them, no matter how alluring Amara’s voice was when trying to pull me in. The most I got out of her is that they want me to unlock my potential, but it would be for their gain. I also know they think they can help me get Lara back. But is that a lie? Or is it possible to truly leverage my power in order to get her back? I’m going to figure it out one way or another, but I have a feeling it isn’t going to be a quick process.

I just know I get a very, very bad feeling while around Amara and her people.

I step into the school library and notice it’s eerily quiet, a calm that only serves to amplify the chaos inside my own mind. The ancient shelves groan under the weight of forgotten knowledge, and the scent of old books fills the air. I head into the historical room that’s encased by four glass walls. After donning a pair of gloves, I run my fingers along the spines of the past, hoping to find something—anything—that could explain what’s happening to me. The Solstice Society, Lara’s disappearance, and the curse that wraps itself tighter around my heart with every passing hour.

I don't know where to start. So many questions, too few answers.

I do know I’m going to talk to the guidance counselor about switching some of my classes. Now that I know I have these abilities, and I know that there’s more than just humans roaming these halls, I think I deserve to delve more into it.

I hear the soft footfalls behind me before I feel them. Lucian. I know his footsteps, somehow, just another strange sense I’ve gained. My body tenses, but I don’t turn around. Not yet. I keep my gaze fixed on the books before me, wishing I could lose myself in their pages and forget about the mess I’ve created.

“You went to them.” His voice cuts through the silence, dark and menacing, with an emotion I can’t place.

I freeze, my breath catching in my throat. I didn’t tell him, purposefully, knowing he wouldn’t like it.

My fingers tighten on the edge of the book I’m holding, but I refuse to let it go. “I had to,” I say, my voice steady with counterfeit confidence, my heart racing in my chest. He scoffs, and I realize I’ve once again forgotten his vampiric abilities.

I finally turn to face him. “I went because I had to. The girls and I decided it would be the best way to get information, to try and beat them at their own game and figure out where Lara is.”

Lucian stands in the doorway, his dark eyes narrowing like he’s looking at a petulant child who’s been caught in an unforgivable lie. His anger is unmistakable now, his annoyance clear as he steps closer.

“‘You and the girls decided,’” he repeats, the words laced with disbelief and something darker—something that feels like betrayal. “You and two young, impressionable witches?” His jaw clenches, a muscle in his neck tensing. “Do you have any idea how idiotic that sounds, Sylvie? You aren’t a stupid girl.”

I flinch backward, feeling the sting of his words, the truth of them cutting deeper than I want to admit. “I had to do something,” I defend myself, but the excuse feels hollow even as I say it. “We didn’t know what else to do, and I’m sick and fucking tired of getting the run around.”

Lucian takes another step toward me, his gaze fierce now. “What is so hard for you to understand? They will undoubtedly pull you in, Sylvie. It’s part of their plan,” he growls, his voice low and controlled, but the anger is there, raw and cutting. “They’ll manipulate you. They’ll make you think you’re in control, that you’re doing what’s best. But they’re not after you because they want to help. They want to fucking use you. Bend you to their disgusting will. And they can pull you in so easily. You are a little girl who has been raised as nothing more than a human. Do you even know how easy those bastards will be able to manipulate you?” he seethes, his words like venom. “I repeatedly told you not to trust them.”

His words hit like a physical blow, and I take a step back, my breath catching. A little girl . I’m not merely a little girl. And the asshole in front of me knows it.

“I wasn’t thinking clearly,” I admit, his accusation settling in. “I just… I didn’t know what else to do. Lara’s gone. I had to try something. I thought maybe if I could gain more insight on them and learn what they want then maybe I could make a better decision on what to do.” I take a breath before continuing. “But once I got in there, I had a terrible feeling. I just knew I didn’t want to be anywhere near those people. If anything, it’s solidified things for me. I know I can’t trust them. I just need to figure out how to leverage the power they think I have so I can get my sister back.”

Lucian’s expression softens, but only for a moment. His gaze flickers over me as if trying to see beneath the surface, to understand what’s really going on in my head. His lips press into a thin line as he steps closer again, his hand hovering near mine but not quite touching.

“Trying something isn’t enough when it comes to them,” he says, his voice quieter now, but there’s an edge to it that makes my chest tighten. “They’ll use your fear, your desperation. They’ll feed on it. How many ways can I say this? What will get it through to you?”

I swallow hard, not sure how to respond. His concern twists at something in my bones, but the fear inside me doesn’t go away. It only grows stronger the more I think about Lara’s voice in my head, about the truth of what the Solstice Society is capable of.

“I’m not afraid,” I whisper, though I’m not sure I believe it myself.

Lucian’s gaze sharpens, searching mine with an intensity that seems to pierce through me. “You should be,” he mutters, stepping even closer. “Because if you think you can just walk in there and outsmart them, you’re wrong. They’ve been playing this game for decades, and you’re just another pawn. They have strong forces behind them. Magic aged in darkness. You, as you are, are absolutely no match for their power.”

Anger flares in my chest, heat rising inside of me as I shake my head and back away from him. “I’m not a fucking pawn , Lucian. What is it with the names? A pawn ? A little girl ?” I scoff and twist my face in disgust. “Do you let all of the little girls watch you raw dog your female conquests?”

I turn away from him so he doesn’t see the sudden onset of tears in my eyes.

I don’t even know why it’s happening, but the anger and sadness…everything…it just bubbles up inside of me. And suddenly the books are shaking. The ground is shaking. I pause, stopping in my tracks, terrified at what’s happening.

And the moment I do, it stops.

“You are not invincible. You don’t get to make decisions like this without understanding the risks,” he says. “And for what it’s worth, I do not let little girls watch me fuck my female conquests .” He steps closer to me as I take a deep, shuddering breath, trying to get a handle on my emotions. “It was a bad choice of words, Sylvie, but you are way out of your depths here, and you need to realize that.”

The vulnerability in his voice hits me harder than I expect. Lucian hasn’t shown his emotions freely, and hearing this—hearing him care—is more than I can process in the moment. I open my mouth to respond, but the words feel trapped.

“Don’t you dare go to them again.” His voice is low but seething, every word laced with a dark, possessive anger. The room seems to chill, his fury palpable as he closes the space between us. His gaze pins me in place, and although there’s a raw desperation flickering behind his eyes, his command is unmistakable. “You think you can do this alone, but you can’t,” he growls, his tone brooding and unyielding. “You don’t have a choice anymore. I will protect you whether you like it or not.”

I hesitate, uncertainty flooding my veins, my out-of-control emotions swirling in my mind and making my head pound. Part of me wants to argue, to push him away. But another part, a part I can’t seem to ignore, wants to believe in the sincerity behind his words. The fear and guilt eat at me, and all I can do is stand there, caught in the storm of my own confusion.

“I’ll be careful,” I whisper, but even as I say it, I don’t believe myself.

Lucian doesn’t respond right away. Instead, he just watches me, his dark eyes unwavering, as if trying to read the truth of my words. Finally, he nods slowly, but there’s still that same tension in the air. The concern doesn’t leave him, and the words unspoken hang heavily between us.

But then, before I can say anything more, he reaches out and gently brushes a strand of hair from my face, his touch sending a jolt of electricity through me. It’s tender—too tender for someone who’s supposed to be angry with me, who is supposed to be a monster—and for a brief moment, it feels like nothing else exists but the two of us in this quiet, musty room.

“ I’ll keep you safe,” he promises softly, the words almost a vow. “But you have to allow me.”

I nod, though I know the road ahead will be far from easy. But for the first time in what feels like forever, I don’t feel so alone. It feels like this man, this monster, in front of me…he’s become so much in such a short amount of time. And I have no idea why.

Why I feel so deeply connected to him.

Why he cares at all.

I swallow hard, the weight of his words settling into my chest. But the moment he speaks again, my own frustration resurges. It’s like I’m suddenly unable to control these feelings swarming inside of me.

“Let me keep you safe, Sylvie,” Lucian says again, his voice low, earnest.

The anger rises again, warring with the control I want to hand over. I bristle, pulling away from him as if his words were a physical blow. “I’ve let people keep me safe my whole life, Lucian. Look where it's gotten me.” My voice rises, trembling with the intensity of everything I’ve been holding back—the grief, the fear, the anger.

He doesn’t back down. His eyes darken, and I can see the same storm of emotions brewing in him. “That’s not what I meant. You don’t have to do this alone. You don't need to risk everything just to prove something.”

I shake my head, pacing in frustration as I throw my hands in the air. “I don’t need to be saved. I don’t need your protection or anyone else’s. I need to do this on my own, even if it means making mistakes along the way.” My hands shake as I gesture to the library, to the dangerous path I've already chosen. “I’m done with people thinking they know what’s best for me.”

His jaw clenches, and he steps forward, a few inches separating us, but it feels like miles. “And what if they pull you in, Sylvie? What if you don’t make it out? Then what? Then all of this is for nothing, and you and Lara are both dead.” He lowers his voice, punctuating each word, “You are playing with fire. Do you understand me? You will both die.”

“Maybe I’m done standing on the sidelines while everyone else decides my fate for me. You think this is about you, but it's not. You think it’s about you and your curse. About some witch from centuries ago.” My voice shakes with the strain of everything I’ve been holding inside. "It's about me , Lucian. The woman standing in front of you. It’s about taking control of my own life for once.” I take a deep breath. “I have always been the twin to play it safe. My anxiety and fear of everything to do with standing on my own two feet have always kept me like this fucked-up, caged bird. I finally feel like I’m learning more about myself, about my abilities. This is going to strengthen me. I’m not going to be stagnant anymore, or worse, going backward. I’m not letting those fears and anxieties eat me alive anymore. Realizing I have this power flowing through my veins…it’s not something I can ignore anymore. I’m going to learn about myself. About my lineage. About how to wield these powers. I refuse to let other people protect me when I’m fully capable of doing it myself.”

He doesn’t say anything, but I see something flicker in his eyes—something raw, something torn. He takes another step closer, almost too close, and I swear I can feel the air around us sizzle in anticipation of something. The argument hangs between us, like it’s a wall we can’t break through, but then... something shifts.

Without warning, Lucian’s hand grabs the back of my neck, pulling me in. His lips crash into mine, urgent, desperate. It’s not gentle. It’s a release, a need that neither of us can ignore anymore.

I don’t pull away. I reverently kiss him back, my hands gripping his shirt with frantic need, the starchy fabric pulling taut beneath my fingers as my heart pounds in my chest. His lips are warm, insistent, and everything inside me surges forward in response. It’s as if the kiss is more than just a simple meeting of mouths—it’s an eruption, a release of everything I’ve been holding back. His taste is intoxicating, and I lose myself in the desperate rhythm, in the fire that flickers and burns between us.

The kiss is…everything, each touch a clash of emotions too much to bear, too powerful to stop. There’s a tension, raw and ferocious, like the world around us could fall away at any moment, and it would still be us, entangled in this moment. His hands move to my waist, pulling me closer, if that’s even possible, fusing our bodies together until we’re one, and I feel the heat of him, the way he needs me in the same breath I need him. My pulse thunders in my ears as the kiss deepens, the air between us whispering unspoken words, unresolved anger, and undeniable longing.

It’s messy, it’s fierce—there’s no control, no restraint, just a desperate need to consume each other in a way that feels both inevitable and terrifying. The taste of him is on my lips, and the world outside—everything that’s so fucked up right now—ceases to exist, falls away like it was never a problem at all. All I can hear is the rush of my heartbeat, all I can feel is the surge of energy between us, threatening to tear us apart even as it binds us together.

When we finally break away, I’m breathless, my thoughts in a swirl of confusion. His eyes are locked onto mine as we both pant, searching—pleading—for something, and I don’t know what it is.

“I can't let you do this alone,” he murmurs, voice hushed, almost broken. “Please don’t make me.”

And for a moment, I don't know if he’s talking about the mission or something deeper, something neither of us is ready to face.