Page 36 of A Summer of Secrets on Arran (Scottish Romances #5)

Luke was up early and walking along the beach, lost in his thoughts.

He knew Rosie was aware something had happened as his mood had been sombre after taking the call from his agent, Linda, at the café in Lamlash yesterday.

In a way he was grateful for the sudden rainfall as it meant they could get back to Kildonan and he could lock himself away again, claiming he had to write.

And that had been true. He had written a heartfelt tribute to Linda and was planning to dedicate his book to her.

If it hadn’t been for her tenacious attitude, she wouldn’t have got him the book deal in the first place. He had a lot to thank her for.

Although yesterday’s rain had passed and the sun had come out again, the morning air was cool and he inhaled huge gulps of it.

He wanted to make the most of the seaweed infused air while he could.

Before too long, he would be back in congested London which he was not looking forward to in the slightest. He narrowed his eyes as he saw a woman walking towards him and then realised that it was Bella.

‘You’re up early,’ he said to her and smiled warmly.

He had grown fond of her these past few weeks.

‘I couldn’t sleep,’ she said with a shiver.

‘Ah, you must be back for the big reunion then?’ said Luke, now realising why she was in Kildonan this morning and not Brodick.

It was then Luke noticed how pale she looked and the dark circles beneath her eyes.

She seemed exhausted and when she shivered again, he immediately took off his jacket and handed it to her.

‘Here, put that on. It’s not as warm as it looks, is it? ’

She gingerly took it from him. ‘Are you sure?’

‘Of course. I’ve got lots of layers on,’ he said, ‘you need it more than me. It’s not quite t-shirt weather, is it?’

Bella pulled on his jacket and zipped it up to her neck. ‘Nope.’

‘Do you mind if I walk with you?’ he said.

She shrugged. ‘Sure.’

Luke frowned as they walked side by side. He kept giving her sideways glances expecting her to say something, but it was as though she had lost the power of speech. ‘Any reason you couldn’t sleep?’ he asked gently.

Bella didn’t answer immediately. But he knew if he walked with the silence for a few moments then she may start to talk.

He could see her chewing her top lip as she thought about it and Luke just kept walking alongside her.

The sound of the waves lapping the pebbles was mesmerising and a few minutes had passed before she started to speak.

‘Man trouble,’ she said slowly.

‘Ah, okay,’ said Luke, desperately wondering what he could say that might be of help.

‘I found out who my dad is last night . . . ’ she said quietly.

‘Oh,’ said Luke, trying to keep his voice level. ‘That must have been a shock?’

She nodded. ‘I still can’t believe that my mum kept it such a secret for so long . . . although I can now understand why. It kind of blew my mind.’

‘Mm,’ said Luke non-committedly. ‘And how do you feel now you know the truth?’

She shrugged and then stopped to pick up a pebble. Luke stayed by her side and watched the seals basking on the rocks. ‘Aren’t they incredible?’ said Luke, when he realised she hadn’t answered.

‘Mm,’ she murmured, before dropping the stone back onto the beach. ‘I don’t really know. I’m probably still in a bit of a daze. At first, I thought it was you, but it wasn’t, and now . . . it was just a bit unexpected,’ she said. ‘Though it also kind of makes sense.’

Luke nodded. ‘And does knowing who it is change things for you?’

‘I don’t think so,’ she said as she started walking again. ‘I mean, they both explained why they had agreed to keep it a secret. It was all a bit complicated back then. I get why it was all kept hush-hush.’

Luke didn’t want to probe by asking who they were but he assumed Rosie and Ash were also part of the secret given that they were all together last night.

Instead of asking her more questions, he just stayed silent and they kept walking a circular route which eventually took them back to the cottages.

‘How about a cuppa?’ said Luke, pointing at Beach Cottage. ‘You look like you could do with warming up a bit.’

Bella didn’t need any persuasion and she followed Luke inside the house, kicking her shoes off by the door. He led her to the living room where she sat on the chair by the window and curled her legs up underneath her.

‘I’ll just put the kettle on,’ he said, and passed her a throw which she tucked around her legs. In the kitchen, he quickly sent Rosie a text to let her know Bella was with him in case they were about to send out a search party. His mobile buzzed immediately and he looked at it to read her reply.

Thanks Luke. Yes, there was a panic when we realised she was gone. We were about to go and look for her. Sorry to drag you into this. I hope she is okay. And you too.

He typed out a reply . She is here and will be fine. I am just making her some tea and then she will be back. Please tell Isobel that she is okay and I will look after her. X

He had pressed send before he realised he’d added a X. Whoops.

Okay. Thanks so much. We appreciate this. Rosie xx

‘It’s not every day you find out who your dad is,’ said Luke, setting down a cup of tea on the small table next to Bella. He could see the vulnerability on her face and it was the same look he had seen in the bar at Troon that day, when she had confronted him.

She nodded. ‘I guess not. Although it’s not as much of a shock as I expected. It makes sense.’

Luke waited for her to elaborate.

She clasped her hands around the mug and looked at him. ‘Ash is my dad.’

‘Oh,’ said Luke, trying not to look surprised. He was not expecting Bella to say that. ‘I see. I just kind of assumed that Ash was a woman. Just shows you should never make assumptions or jump to conclusions.’ He raised an eyebrow at her.

That made Bella chuckle and he was pleased to see a smile brighten up her face. ‘I guess thinking he was a woman is an easy assumption to make. He was always part of the girl gang with Rosie and my mum. I suppose it was an even bigger shock as he is gay.’

Luke nodded solemnly. ‘Does it change anything? In terms of the way you feel about him. I get the sense he is someone who has always been in your life. Is that right?’

Bella nodded. ‘Yes, he has always been part of our family, just like Rosie has been. When I think of my childhood, I don’t think I lacked in anything.

I suppose it would have been nice to have a dad but plenty of kids in my class at school only had one parent and those who did have a dad often didn’t like him anyway.

My mum was always there for me and I had my gran.

And when I think about it, Ash was always there too.

He made the effort to visit when he came back to Scotland and would call a lot.

And he never forgot my birthday or Christmas.

When I think about it, I was really lucky that I didn’t have a dad who I thought was a dick. ’

Luke nodded kindly as he listened. He knew so many men who were absent fathers and had nothing to do with their kids.

The fact that Ash was here right now and had been so involved and made time to visit her over the years, despite the distance, had to be a good thing for Bella.

She had always had her dad in her life, but just didn’t know.

‘So, does knowing about the biological link with him change things now? Does it change the way you feel about him?’

She looked at him thoughtfully. ‘Not at all. I’ve always felt connected to him.

He’s always been there for family stuff, like an uncle, and has made a lot of effort to be part of my life.

I just always thought my dad had been some random one-off.

That’s what mum had always told me and I believed her until I found Rosie’s journal. ’

Luke felt his cheeks colour as he thought of Rosie and her secret diary of their tryst.

‘As it turns out she wasn’t being entirely untruthful.

He was a one-night stand. But at least mum knew who he was.

He wasn’t just some random guy she had picked up in a nightclub.

In a way that probably feels better. I can stop scanning random men’s faces in crowds, wondering if they might be my dad.

Or ambushing poor men like you and jumping to the wrong conclusion.

’ She gave him a sheepish smile. ‘Now I feel like I know where I came from and where I belong. Does that make sense? Sorry, Luke, I am rambling.’

Luke nodded. ‘Absolutely that makes sense and it’s a lot to get your head around, Bella.

It’s good you’re able to talk about it though.

I think it’s normal to want to know where you belong and who you belong to.

But in the short time that I have known you it’s always been clear that your mum is utterly devoted to you, as is Rosie.

’ He drank some tea. ‘Life can change in an instant, Bella. And we never know what might happen,’ he said, thinking about yesterday’s call with Linda.

‘I know it’s a lot to process. But it sounds like your mum did the very best she could, especially as she knew she could never have a future together with Ash.

It must also have been difficult when he was living in Australia. ’

‘And gay. Let’s not forget that,’ added Bella, rolling her eyes.

‘You know, Ash has been the closest thing I’ve had to a dad over the years and the main older male figure in my life.

I know I’m lucky to be able to say that about him, especially when I think about some of my friend’s parents.

My friend Lily’s dad is an alcoholic, and look at Ben — his dad was an adulterer! ’

Luke winced as he thought about his own sons and the fact their mother was also in that camp. Then he momentarily found his thoughts drifting again to Rosie.

‘Ash has always been kind, considerate and funny,’ continued Bella, ‘and he’s always been there for me.

Perhaps not geographically but certainly at the end of the phone.

How many people can say that about their dad?

’ She sat for a moment, lost in her own thoughts, then uncurled her feet and put the mug on the table.

‘Thanks, Luke. That chat has really helped me figure stuff out. You should be a counsellor or something . . .’

Luke grinned at her. ‘Mm, that may be a step too far.’ But her whole demeanour had changed in the time that she had sat in the cottage. She looked lighter and less tense.

‘You’re right, though. I can’t change the past and there’s no point in blaming them for what they did.

Who would have chosen to be in that position?

Mum wasn’t that much older than I am now.

I can’t even begin to imagine how she must have felt.

Or what I would do if I was in her shoes.

It must have been really hard for her.’ She stood up and shrugged off Luke’s jacket and handed it to him.

‘Thank you, Luke. I’d better go next door and tell them to stop fretting.

’ And then her stomach rumbled loudly. She laughed. ‘Whoops.’

‘Can I get you some breakfast before you go,’ he said. ‘I can make eggs on toast?’

She shook her head and quickly hugged him.

‘Thanks, but no, you’re alright. Rosie said she would make pancakes this morning and I didn’t eat any dinner last night.

I felt too sick. But now I am famished.’ She hurried to the door and pulled on her shoes.

‘Wait, do you want to come as well? I’m sure Rosie would love to see you. ’

Much as Luke would have loved to see Rosie, he knew it wasn’t appropriate right now.

They needed their space to talk all of this through.

He reminded himself that his feelings for Rosie were growing more intense by the day and he was now in dangerous territory.

Because Luke knew he would have to head back to London, sooner rather than later.