Page 10 of A Storm of Fire and Ash

I felt utterly paralyzed, as if caught in a storm of my own making. My thoughts swirled chaotically, intertwining with waves of emotions that slammed into me with such force, threatening to drown me in despair. I could feel the tremors of a panic attack looming, ready to consume me whole.

With urgency, I pulled on the soft tunic and fitted leather trousers that Eryn had thoughtfully given me; the fabric felt comforting against my skin, even as my heart raced. Strapping on my worn boots, I prepared to face the world outside, but a nagging thought tugged at my mind.

Where was my bow—

The realization washed over me like icy water: everything I had ever cherished, every possession I held dear, had been reduced to nothing but ashes, scattered and lost, much like my shattered heart.

In an instant, I had unwittingly dismantled my entire existence, and the weight of that knowledge pressed heavily upon my soul.

I could never forgive myself for this catastrophe.

It should have been me who died in the flames, not my mother.

The bitter taste of regret lingered in my mouth, a constant reminder of the tragic choices I had made.

I wished I were dead.

My emotions swelled within me, begging to break free.

A new, foreign feeling of raw energy and magic bubbled under the surface, yearning to escape, and with it came another wave of panic.

I had no idea how to wield this power that lurked inside me.

Desperately, I brought my fingers to my ears and found them still rounded from whatever magic Zayn used to conceal them, thank the gods.

I grasped the edge of the sink in Zayn’s bathroom, the cold porcelain grounding me as I fixed my gaze on the reflection that stared back.

My face bore no overt signs of change, yet within, I felt like a shattered fragment of what I once was.

I had anticipated the darkness that should have taken root in my eyes, but all I saw reflected at me was an abyss of sadness—a weight I felt I had earned.

It should have been me.

As tears began to spill down my cheeks, I was consumed by the urge to scream, to unleash the chaos that boiled within. My heart raced, each breath grew more labored, tightening like a vice around my throat.

I needed to get the fuck out of here.

I pushed away from the cold sink and bolted toward the heavy door, my heart pounding like a war drum in my chest. As I flung it open, a rush of cool air filled my lungs, and I took off running, my feet pounding against the stone floor.

I had no clear destination in mind; all I wanted was to break free from this suffocating prison that felt like it was closing in around me.

“Elara! Stop!” Eryndor’s voice echoed behind me, sharp and filled with urgency, but I didn’t dare look back. I could barely decipher the jumbled words she had shouted as I had flown down a seemingly endless flight of stairs, each step a desperate bid for freedom.

The descent had felt eternal, the dim light casting long shadows that danced ominously around me.

I zipped past a guard, barely avoiding a collision with his solid frame.

“Divine! Watch where you’re going, you wee twat!

” he bellowed, his voice a mix of surprise and irritation, but I couldn’t afford to slow down.

Fear propelled my legs, spurring me onward as my magic threatened to pour out of me.

Finally, I burst through the last door, landing in what appeared to be a kitchen within the castle.

The scent of herbs and warm bread filled the air, clashing with the adrenaline that surged through me.

Three women, their faces a canvas of confusion, and one imposing man turned to regard me with blank stares.

“Dearie, are you lost?” the short woman asked, her voice laced with a mixture of concern and curiosity, as if I had been a stray cat wandering into an unfamiliar backyard. I could feel my magic simmering dangerously close to the surface—a bomb ready to explode.

“Outside,” I gasped, breathless and desperate, “how do I get outside?!” I shut my eyes tightly, dug my long, sharp nails into my palms, and tried to stifle the fire that brewed within me. Beads of sweat began to trickle down my forehead, mixing with the tension that enveloped the air around me.

“Just out that door,” Her soft voice chimed as she pointed toward a set of imposing iron doors behind me. “Can I get you anything?” she asked, her tone deceptively sweet. The other three figures nearby watched me intently.

I hadn’t bothered responding. Instead, I had shaken my head vehemently and sprinted toward the doors. I hadn’t been prepared for the pain that awaited me.

As I pressed my palms against the cold surface of the heavy doors, a searing heat shot through me, igniting my skin and causing blisters to form almost instantly.

But I had welcomed the agony; it grounded me, reminding me that I was still alive and fighting.

With a fierce hiss escaping my lips, I pushed the doors open with every ounce of strength I possessed, sunlight flooding my vision like a long-lost friend.

I rushed into the light, adrenaline surging through my veins. Ahead lay the inviting embrace of the woods—my sanctuary. I knew that if I could just reach them, I could navigate my way to the cliffside, where I could finally breathe freely.

Glancing back, I half-expected to see Eryn racing to catch up with me. But she was nowhere in sight, and for once, fortune smiled on me. I plunged into the depths of the forest, my magic thrumming just beneath my skin, restless and eager to break free. I had to reach the cliffside.

As I hurried through the dense canopy of gnarled branches, my heart raced with every stride—I could feel fire coursing through my veins.

The sharp thorns of the underbrush tugged at my clothes, leaving behind a trail of scrapes as I pushed against the prickly barriers with determination.

Pushing through the last two bushes, I emerged into an expansive open field filled with the familiar wildflowers and green grass that stretched out like a green sea before me, leading me to the edge of the cliff.

I sprinted as though my very life depended on it, desperate to escape the overwhelming ache that had settled in my heart.

Finally reaching the precipice, I collapsed to my knees, the cries of despair erupting from my throat like a volatile storm.

As I hollered into the void, flames erupted from my burned, raw hands.

Just as the fire threatened to engulf my entire being, I unleashed a primal scream, a sound that seemed to resonate with the very core of my existence.

The flames roared and undulated from my outstretched hands, twisting into a fiery-dragon before my eyes.

I watched its fiery dance, yearning to reach out and touch the creature that had sprung from my anguish.

But just as my fingers grazed the air, the fire extinguished, leaving behind nothing but an echoing silence and the faint scent of smoke.

That, too, had left me, just like everything in my life did.

Staring at my outstretched hand, I recalled the searing pain of the castle doors, the memory of my skin blistering and charred. Silver. The castle doors must have had silver in them, which was why I burned.

Suddenly, a wave of dizziness swept over me as if the ground beneath my feet was shifting.

I steadied myself as I stood too quickly, my head started pounding, and I gazed down into the abyss.

A reckless thought flirted through my mind—what would it be like to leap into the unknown?

To soar through the air, feeling the wind whip through my hair as I fell toward the rocky river below, a plunge that held the promise of release from the burdens I bore?

The very idea of freefall tantalized me, clouding my thoughts with a desperate longing for the freedom that death might offer.

I hesitated, my foot hovering perilously over the edge, uncertainty coursing through me like electricity. Suddenly, a pair of powerful hands gripped my shoulders with urgency, yanking me back with such force that I tumbled backward, landing atop a solid, incredibly muscular frame.

“Great Divine, Elara, what are you fucking doing?!” I recognized the prince’s voice just like I recognized his hard body. “I was screaming your name—didn’t you hear me?!” he asked, his breath hot in my ear.

I struggled to roll away from his embrace, but his grip on my waist was rigid like iron. “I—I didn’t hear you calling. I wasn’t going to jump… I—I wasn’t…” My voice trembled as tears began to gather in my eyes, blurring my vision.

Was I actually contemplating jumping? The uncertainty gnawed at me.

Fintan gently turned my body to face him, and his worried gaze pierced through my haze of confusion.

His brows knitted together, and a storm of concern brewed in his expression.

With a tender hand, he reached up to brush away the tears that streaked down my cheeks.

My chin quivered, and I could no longer contain the flood of emotion surging within me.

I instinctively wrapped my arms around the prince, burying my face in the warmth of his chest as sobs wracked my body.

All I craved was the solace of my mother’s embrace. But I would never be held by her again.

He grabbed my hands and then looked down. “Shit! What happened to your hands?!” I forgot the silver had burned me, leaving my skin bubbled. “I accidentally burned myself”, I said through my tears.

He pulled me tighter against his chest, “Shhh, it’s alright, El. I’ve got you. What happened to your mother wasn’t your fault. You’re safe,” he whispered soothingly in my ear, his voice a gentle balm against my turmoil.

Little did he know, it was entirely my fault.

I started to cry harder.

As he stroked my long hair, the rhythmic motion and the softness of his presence enveloped me, creating a cocoon of comfort I had never known before.