Page 19 of A Simple Marriage (Millionaires of Mayfair #2)

“Ithought I’d stop by and see how you are holding up?” Trafford slid into one of the club chairs in front of Hugh’s desk.

Hugh buried his face into his hands. “I feel as if I’ve been run over by a coach and four at full speed.” He leaned back against his chair and stared into his friend’s gaze. “Stanhope is going to ask for her hand. I could tell by the way Pelham announced that he needed to discuss something privately with Pippa. Stanhope has approached him, and either Pelham has agreed or wants Pippa to tell him her preferences before he agrees.” His voice cracked, betraying that his emotions were on thin ice. “Did you know?”

Trafford shook his head. “Whatever our friend had in mind, he didn’t share it with either of us. Your great-aunt almost caused a riot within the salon earlier.”

Hugh flinched slightly. Aunt Edith had walked into Pelham’s salon with her cane as a cannon and leveled it at everyone. He had no idea that she would do that or that she even had knowledge of Stanhope’s forthcoming offer for Pippa. Well, he hadn’t offered yet, but it was safe to assume that he had Pelham’s permission to court her. And Pippa would likely consider this as manna from heaven. With a special license, she could be married and buy Mademoiselle Mignon’s modiste shop before the end of the day.

Perhaps that was why he felt so downtrodden. She’d looked at him from across the room as if asking him to help her. But how could he? Unless he kidnapped Stanhope. “Whatever Pelham wanted to discuss with Pippa, he kept it a secret from me. I was there last night for dinner.”

Trafford cocked his head. “Doing what?”

“Looking over Pippa’s financials for the dress shop. The woman has a keen business sense and insight. She reminds me of Pelham when he sits down with his bookkeeping.”

Trafford nodded, then he arched an eyebrow. “And what else were you doing?”

“What are you referring to?” Hugh lowered his voice and fought not to growl at his other best friend.

Trafford leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knee. “You have feelings for Pippa. We all have known that for ages. When Honoria came to town with me to announce our betrothal, she told me that when you danced with her, all you wanted was to discuss Pippa.”

Hugh studied the courtyard outside the window with his hands clasped across his desk. He had to turn the conversation to another topic, or his friend would discover every secret he had locked away. “When are you returning to Amesbury? Perhaps I’ll tag along. A change of scenery might do us all good.”

“Not for a while.” Trafford shifted in his chair, suddenly unsettled. “There’s a family dinner tomorrow night.”

Before Hugh could ask more, Burnett stood discreetly inside the door. “Lord Stanhope is here to see you. Are you receiving?”

For a moment, Hugh imagined himself leaving his study and throwing Stanhope out of his house by the back of his collar like unwelcome vermin. But then, Trafford’s gaze locked with his.

“Ravenscroft? Burnett is waiting,” his friend murmured.

Hugh nodded to his butler, who left to retrieve the unwanted guess.

“We all know what he’s going to say.” This time, Hugh didn’t hide his sneer.

Stanhope entered the room with his hat in his hands. “Ravenscroft, thank you for seeing me.” He nodded at Trafford. Afterward, he extended a hand for Hugh to shake.

It took every ounce of fortitude not to crush the man’s hand into pulp. But somehow, Hugh managed the simple handshake, then waved a hand at the empty chair beside Trafford. “A drink?” Hugh asked.

“No, thank you.” Stanhope shook his head, wearing a rueful smile. “Another cup of tea?—”

“And you’ll float away…” Hugh finished for him. Everything about the man was predictable. He probably wore a sleeping gown when he made love to a woman. Sweet, sensual Pippa would be bored with such a husband. She adored touching Hugh’s bare skin. He inhaled loudly. He was getting hard just thinking about her. “I was referring to a brandy. Would you care for one?” He arched a brow, hoping to intimidate him.

But the pup just smiled. “My visit is brief.” He twirled his hat in his hands and studied it as if trying to find the courage to speak his mind.

Hugh decided then and there that he would not ease the man’s discomfort. If anyone had a right to feel such pain, it was Hugh. Yet, it was a sure bet that Stanhope was here to gloat over the fact that he would be the one to win Pippa’s hand in marriage.

But Hugh had been the first one to kiss her.

But Stanhope would be the one to make love to her.

He’d also be the one to make all her dreams come true.

Hugh clenched his hand into a fist as the agony of such thoughts almost brought him to his knees. He had to keep his wits about him. Otherwise, it would take little to roar that Pippa was his and would always be his.

“I traveled to the Jolly Rooster to visit Pelham. We discussed his sister’s future. I’m going to ask her to be my wife as soon as possible.” He looked at Hugh with a quiet determination.

Both knew whom he was referring to. Hugh had never seen such a serious countenance on Stanhope since the man usually wore a smile and possessed good humor. He’d made the decision to marry her rather quickly. Hugh would have been mightily impressed with the blasted man if he wasn’t talking about Pippa.

His Pippa.

“Do you want a medal for that pronouncement?” Hugh drawled. Stanhope had been a genius asking her to dine at his home with his entire family. He must have heard from Pelham that one of his demands for Pippa’s hand had to be her marrying into a loving family.

Hugh’s blood slowly turned to ice, freezing him in place. The ache in his chest wouldn’t leave him be. He couldn’t say or do anything. He should get up and demand the man leave immediately, then race to Pippa’s side and beg her to marry him. But what good would it do? Stanhope was everything she wanted. She wanted a husband. Not a husband-husband.

And she saw Hugh as a husband-husband.

Stanhope shook his head and stood. “I stopped by to personally tell you my plans. I don’t think it would be honorable to hide this from you.” Stanhope nodded to Trafford then Hugh. “Good day, gentlemen.”

Like a specter who’d grown tired of haunting someone, he was gone. If only Stanhope was a ghost. Pippa couldn’t marry a ghost. Hugh exhaled loudly before the quiet in the room exploded.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Trafford asked softly.

What he really wanted was to throw his glass across the room. Instead, he calmly picked it up and downed the remaining brandy. Nonchalantly, he turned his attention to Trafford. “Talk about what exactly?”

His friend shook his head. “Get your head out of the sand. You’re going to lose her.”

“Lose whom? He didn’t say who he was asking to marry him.”

“Pippa, you arse.” Trafford pursed his lips.

Hugh had only seen him do it on one other occasion. It was when Lord Carlyle had tried to steal Honoria from him.

“We all know your feelings for her. Honor knows it. I know it. Pelham knows it. Even Stanhope knows it. He was here to soften the blow when the marriage is announced.”

“What makes you so sure she’ll say yes?”

Trafford was correct. He was an arse.

His friend shook his head. “I can only goad you so much before I grow tired of you myself. Stanhope can give her what she wants. Access to her trust fund. But the most important question is, ‘What are you going to do about it?’”

Hugh ignored the lecture. “You were saying something about a family dinner at Ardeerton House?”

Trafford leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling as if trying to control his temper. After a long, torturous moment, he returned his gaze to Hugh. “Pelham is having a family dinner tomorrow.”

Hugh frowned. “I wasn’t invited. Perhaps Pelham forgot to send me the invitation.” Then he smiled benevolently as if everything was perfectly normal in his world. However, the truth was that his world was collapsing around him. He swallowed to keep his wretched tears from falling from his eyes. “I’m sure it’ll arrive this afternoon.”

“It’s just for family.”

“Well, as Pelham’s best friend, I’m sure he’ll invite me.” Hugh shrugged. “He always has before.”

Trafford looked away for a moment, then exhaled painfully. “It’s better to lance the wound, I suppose,” he murmured to himself before turning back to Hugh. “As I said, it’s for family. Stanhope and his entire family will be there.” He stood and walked around the desk, then gripped Hugh’s shoulder. “As one of your oldest friends, let me give you some advice. Do something. Otherwise, you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.” Trafford squeezed his shoulder. “Do you hear me?”

Hugh didn’t answer. He couldn’t since his entire body was numb.

Trafford shook his head as if Hugh was a hopeless cause, then walked out the door.

Finally, Hugh blinked and then let out a painful groan. He never cried as a child. The only time he’d experienced such emotion was when his beloved father had died. But now, his eyes burned as they filled with tears. One rogue tear skated down his cheek. He sniffed, determined not to let another fall. He was stronger than this. He tilted his head to the ceiling. He’d never doubted his strength until a certain woman came into his life.

Lady Pippa Ardeerton had the power to bring him to his knees, and she’d done so.

He wanted her. He’d always wanted her, but he didn’t want the pain or the grief that came with falling in love. The truth was that there was pain in love. All he had to do was look at his darling mother. With every tear she shed, he could see another piece of her destroyed.

Hugh forced himself from his desk and walked to the window. With his hands clasped behind his back, he contemplated his future.

Or the bleak lack thereof.

“Was that Stanhope and Trafford?” Aunt Edith chirped as she walked into Hugh’s study.

Hugh didn’t look at her. “Yes.”

The swish of her silk gown indicted that she’d settled onto a sofa. “Come and sit next to me, my boy.”

Hugh turned and slowly made his way to one of the matching sofas that framed the massive fireplace in his study.

“Did I ever tell you about Martin Sloan?” Without waiting for Hugh to answer, Aunt Edith continued, “I’d been smitten with him since I was a little girl. He was blond, blue-eyed, and had thighs that could melt a woman’s?—”

“I understand. He was a regular Adonis.”

“That he was, indeed,” his mother chimed in as she glided across the room to join them. “Of course, I hadn’t been born yet, but your darling great-aunt has shared this story with me before.”

His great-aunt waggled her eyebrows. “And I beg to differ, my boy. There was nothing regular about him.” She chuckled. “But I digress.” She waved a hand in the air. The jewels covering her fingers sprinkled prisms of rainbows around the room.

The damnable things looked like fairies dancing about the room in celebration of his unhappiness.

“As I was saying, one day, I decided to tell him how I felt.” Aunt Edith leaned close and lowered her voice. “Then I grew timid.”

“You?” He managed to say with a chuckle.

“Indeed. I would walk by his house practically every day praying that he would be outside. It would be my chance to start a conversation with him. You see, I’d loved him forever, but I never pursued him as I didn’t think he was wealthy enough for me.”

His mother sat beside her aunt and poured herself a cup of tea. A sweet but melancholy grin tugged at her lips.

“Mother?” Hugh asked gently.

She waved her hand in dismissal. “I’m fine.” She turned to her aunt. “Please, continue.”

Aunt Edith nodded. “He lived comfortably in a modest home. Finally, I matured enough to understand that material wealth wasn’t everything I needed to be happy. I needed him. Hence, why I finally gathered the courage and knocked on the door.”

“Did he answer?” Hugh took her hand in his. Her wrinkled skin reminded him that time waits for no one.

“He didn’t. The house was completely empty. My heart cracked slowly, then broke into at least one hundred pieces. I checked every day to see if he had returned. After a few months, I asked several of the villagers if they knew what had happened to Martin.” She smiled wistfully. “Seems nothing was holding him here, so he moved to the States. Married a society girl from Philadelphia, moved to Boston, and became a successful businessman.”

Hugh leaned near and kissed her cheek. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you.” She took his hand and held it. “Not a day passes that I don’t regret knocking on his door sooner. I should have told him everything. I don’t know if it would have made a difference. But I didn’t even try. Because of my stupidity and fears, I lost the love of my life.” She squeezed his hand that she was still holding. “I would go through anything just to have had him in my life.” She tsked softly. “Wisdom is wasted on the old.”

“Why are you telling me this?” He stole a peek at his mother to see how she was taking this story. Hopefully, it didn’t remind her of his father.

His mother stared at him with an expression that reminded him of all the times in his past when she waited for him to find the answers to the simple math quizzes that his tutor had assigned to him.

He shook his head in consternation. “This has nothing to do with Pippa.”

His mother arched a single eyebrow.

“I’m telling you this because I believe that the pain of losing the man I loved is worse than never marrying at all. Your mother had many years of happiness that I didn’t. I missed so many of the important things in life. I never had the family celebrations, yuletide gatherings, or even the chance for a family of our own. Who knows what fate would have blessed us with? But most of all, I missed having someone I could call my own. Even though your mother’s memories of losing the love of her life are painful in so many ways, long-term, they will sustain her.” Edith turned to him with a shrewd look in her eye. “I’m also telling you this because you love that girl. And she loves you.”

He ran a hand down his face. The pain surrounding his heart reached out to crush him again. “She doesn’t want me. I asked her to marry me, but we agreed that wasn’t what we wanted.”

Aunt Edith nodded as if understanding. “My boy, did you ever consider it from her standpoint? She has her own pain, too. She sees Stanhope as a safe way to get what she thinks she wants. Maybe she’s scared.”

Hugh just sat there. It wasn’t even worth trying to make his mother and great-aunt understand.

Aunt Edith patted his hand. “Well, I’m certain you tried your best. I’m sorry you couldn’t give her what she really wanted.” Slowly, Aunt Edith rose from the sofa. “I think I’ll rest upstairs for a bit.” She placed a kiss on the top of Hugh’s head. “Make an old woman happy. Think about what I said.”

“You’re not old,” Hugh scoffed.

“Perhaps not. But I’m not lucky. But you are. You see, I didn’t even know what Martin wanted.” She shrugged. “So, I couldn’t even offer it to him.” She shrugged, then quickly exited, leaving Hugh with his mother.

“I don’t think she’s going upstairs,” Hugh murmured, then stared at his mother. “Did you two plan this?”

His mother took another sip of tea. “Hardly, but I do hope you were listening to what she was saying. You must be brave when you’re presented with an opportunity for true love.”

“Mother, I don’t mean to be insensitive, but after seeing everything you’ve gone through…” He had no earthly clue how to tell his mother the effect her grief had on him and Bryce after their father passed. It would devastate her.

“Hugh,” his mother said softly. “I’m sorry that you’ve had to suffer with my grief. You’ve always protected me. But one thing, I don’t think you see or perhaps, don’t understand. I would experience the pain again and again if it meant that I would still have had the chance to love your father for all those sweet, tender years.” Her smile was bittersweet. “I still love him and always will. He was the greatest gift I’ve ever received.” She stood and cupped his cheeks. “Along with you and your brother. I have this wonderful life because of your father. We both took a chance at love.” She kissed him on his cheek, then whispered, “And we won.”

She released him and then took a step back. “One thing that I’ve learned from loving your father with my whole heart is that it’s an act of love to allow another person to love you in return. Perhaps you can let Pippa love you. I promise there’s no sadness in that.” There were tears in her eyes, but they weren’t the soul-crushing ones he’d seen before. “Nor is there shame in admitting how much you love someone.”

“Why are you crying?”

“Tears of joy, son. I’m sure you’ll find the right path.”

With that, she turned and left Hugh with his demons. He blew out a breath and buried his head in his hands. Pippa had been adamant about marriage. It was just a device to get what she wanted which was the shop. It was a place of her own to hone her craft and work with others. But Stanhope could easily make her fall in love with him. Hugh could see her welcoming Stanhope into her shop with a smile and kiss of welcome when he came to escort her home after a long day.

What a nightmare.

Whether she loved Hugh was not the question. But if it was within his power to give her what she wanted more than anything else in the world, he would do it without hesitation.

How and when he’d fallen in love with her, he couldn’t answer. Perhaps he’d loved her since the first time he saw her. Definitely by the second time. He chuckled to himself. There was no denying that he loved her more and more each day.

The question that begged an answer was simple. What could he do to give her what she wanted more than anything else in this world?

As importantly, did he know what that was?

Alice peeked into Pippa’s study where Lord Stanhope waited, then turned and lowered her voice. “My elbow’s been bothering me, my lady. It’s undoubtedly due to your visitor being here.”

“You don’t think it has to do with the rain shower we’ve had all day?” Pippa asked innocently, then entered the room. “Please, sit down, my lord.” Pippa waved a hand toward a pair of sofas that framed the fireplace. Perhaps, if she directed where Stanhope should sit, she could keep distance between them.

And delay the inevitable.

Alice had already taken the furthest seat from them. She could still watch them, but she couldn’t hear the conversation.

“Please, call me Adrian.” Stanhope waited for her to take her seat. “Unless that makes you uncomfortable.” He clasped his hands together as if determined to wait her out.

Reluctantly, Pippa sat on the sofa farthest from him. Instantly, memories of her on Hugh’s lap took siege, stealing her breath. How could she listen to a proposal when all she could think about was Hugh’s body and the way he had held her as if she were something to cherish? She pursed her lips as she remembered the softness of his lips and the way he kissed her as if she were the very air that he breathed. The way he listened to her, treating her as an equal.

Without a clue as to the turmoil she was feeling, Stanhope sat down next to her and smiled.

Ruefully, Pippa returned the smile. He wouldn’t be smiling if he knew what she and Hugh had done on this very couch. It was a horrible thought, but she couldn’t help it. She’d already decided that she would never get rid of this sofa in her lifetime. It was a constant reminder of what she’d shared with Hugh that night.

“Lady Pippa, there’s a question I’d like to ask you.” He took a deep breath and then reached for her hand.

Without gloves, she could feel the dampness in his palm. He was as nervous as she was.

“I’m listening.” She straightened her back and turned toward him slightly. A wee bit of hysteria bubbled up within her, desperate to escape. She had no earthly clue how she would answer his proposal. Last night, when she lay in bed, she had decided to say yes. It was what she’d said she’d always wanted. Perhaps she was being a little dramatic. She didn’t know what he was going to ask, but the way he kept staring at her gave her pause. She’d never seen him so serious before.

“Yes. All right.” He laughed slightly. “I’m a bit nervous. It’s the kind of hesitation that is similar to deciding to jump into the lake after a long, cold winter and spring. You want to do it, but you dread the effort.”

“Are you comparing me to a cold pond?” She asked in mock horror.

He threw back his head and laughed. “No. And I apologize if it sounded that way. I had hoped I was giving you an appropriate analogy so you could understand my nervousness.”

“Well, I would say that if you’re that nervous, perhaps you shouldn’t jump in the lake."

“You wound me, Lady Pippa.” Then he winked. “Thankfully, it’s not a fatal blow.” He leaned near as if sharing a secret with her. “But you see, I know once I become accustomed to the water, I’ll never want to leave. It’s the same thing with being with you at this very moment.” He placed one hand over the middle of his chest, and with the other, he squeezed her hand. “It would be my greatest honor and privilege to call you my wife. Will you marry me?”

Her breath caught in her throat. She’d hadn’t been expecting the proposal to slip out in ordinary conversation. She’d expected him to announce his attentions by getting down on one knee, declaring his eternal devotion, and singing her praises. That would have given her notice of what was happening.

She’d read that’s what transpired when proposals were forthcoming. But you couldn’t believe everything you read. Her own sister’s proposal had been different. She’d received her proposal shortly after their brother had found her in flagrante delicto with his best friend.

Her thoughts careened out of control. She felt like a top spinning and weaving trying to stay upright. For the love of heaven, she was being ridiculous.

“I…”

Still holding her hand, Stanhope tilted his head slightly and waited.

“I…”

His gaze captured hers.

Stanhope was giving her what she wanted. He was giving her the ability to buy Mignon’s dress shop. She should not hesitate. How hard was it to answer yes? But for some convoluted reason, she could not say it. All she could think about was Hugh Calthorpe, the Marquess of Ravenscroft, holding her as they lay together in bed.

In that finite slip of a moment, she realized that she would never love Stanhope.

Her heart belonged to another. Every beat was his. She took a deep breath, then slowly released it as she squeezed Stanhope’s hand. It was as if the chain tied around her chest was unlocked, and she could finally breathe freely.

“You are the one giving me the highest honor.” She studied their clasped hands, then lifted her gaze to his. “I am truly sorry, but I cannot marry you.” Slowly, she slid her hand from his. “You’re a wonderful and kind man, but I don’t love you. Truthfully, I don’t know if I’ll ever marry. And you deserve love, Adrian.”

He smiled slightly. “You’re in love with him.”

“What?” Pippa forced out as her jaw dropped open.

“Ravenscroft,” Stanhope said with a smile.

“You’re not angry?”

“Of course not,” he playfully dismissed. “ I visited him yesterday and told him what I was going to do.”

“Ravenscroft?” When he nodded, Pippa’s spirits dropped instantly like a murmur of starlings in the evening sky. She didn’t breathe or move. Hugh was aware that Stanhope would propose marriage and did nothing to stop it. It was unfathomable. He really didn’t want to marry.

Or, at least, he didn’t want to marry her.

Her eyes burned with unshed tears, but she refused to let them fall. Hugh didn’t do anything wrong. Of course, he didn’t do anything to stop her either. She shouldn’t be surprised. He’d been honest with her all along. The proposal he made was a simple marriage offer, one designed to help her attain the dress shop.

As her brother always said, she was an Ardeerton. She sniffed slightly and lifted her chin. She was the mistress of her own future, and that meant she had to find a way to buy that dress shop as quickly as possible without using marriage as the solution.

And quit dwelling on Hugh Calthorpe, the damnable Marquess of Ravenscroft.

“Well, I won’t keep you.” Stanhope stood slowly.

“I’m truly sorry,” Pippa said as she followed suit.

Then Stanhope’s familiar grin appeared. “Don’t be. It was good practice for the next time. Any suggestions on how to improve my performance?”

“Well, when that lucky girl finds you, it would help if you told her why you wanted to marry her.”

“That’s an excellent idea.” He scowled slightly. “What about getting down on one knee?”

Pippa laughed. “I was thinking the same thing. It would never be frowned upon to be dramatic when impressing one’s future spouse.”