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With Hammer padding around, his pink tongue out and his sapphire eyes scanning the darkness of the forest, I decided to give the shimmering portal another shot, further encouraged by Brandon. At some point, Thayen and Myst joined us as well, though I wasn’t sure exactly when. I only knew Thayen couldn’t sleep much either, and the Valkyrie had rarely left his side since the Flip.

There was something different between them. A muted warmth. An awareness of one another. Their movements and body language were surprisingly well synchronized. Whatever this was, I hoped it would only bear good things for the both of them. For all her efforts at distancing herself from the living, from us, Myst had become an integral part of our team. A friend, even.

No one said a word while I sank into a meditative state. It was the one part I’d gotten the hang of thus far. I could feel their eyes on me as I sat perfectly still, and I fed on their unspoken encouragement. My mind wandered away from the world around us, though I did feel Brandon’s hand close around mine. The touch of his skin was electrifying, and for a moment I jumped back to our almost-kiss. What would I have done if his lips had found mine? How would I have reacted if we’d actually kissed? I wanted it, there was no denying that, but…

Ah, the light. Much like in earlier attempts, the light came from the darkness of my closed eyes, enveloping me in a buzzing warmth as if the sun itself had reached out to take me in its golden arms. “Focus on my voice,” Brandon said. “I know you can do it, Astra.”

“You really don’t know what you’re doing, do you?” Thayen muttered. I heard Myst thwacking him on the shoulder.

“Shut up. Let him do his thing,” Myst reprimanded.

“What is his thing, exactly?” Thayen replied, sounding amused.

Brandon chuckled. “Nah, you’re right, I have no idea what I’m doing here. I’m just going with the flow—hopefully something sticks.”

I couldn’t help but laugh, though I kept my eyes closed, clinging to the sunshine on my skin like a blanket. Basking in it, I exhaled deeply as I tried to block out their voices and the sounds of the forest around me. My mind paced farther away from reality and closer to the memory of a shimmering portal. I needed that memory as the basis for my own passageway. Brandon squeezed my hand.

He was right about one thing. I required focus more than anything. Something to stick to while I built up the energy and the technique to open a shimmering portal. The ability was absolutely and undeniably somewhere deep inside me. I only had to tap into the stream.

“I can, however, surmise that Hrista and Astra’s shimmering portal methods differ. Hrista had physical accoutrements,” Brandon said. “Specifically, a perfectly round crystal imbued with some kind of energy which she used to open a portal. Also, a clone dies whenever a portal is opened, and I assume it’s because a portal consumes an entire clone’s life energy. I’m fuzzy on the particulars, but I’ll assume Hrista has more clones than there are Shadian originals just for this purpose. Astra obviously doesn’t require these exterior elements, since the specific type of energy required is inside her. I feel it now. Hers is the easier way, believe it or not.”

“Plus, she always knew when to open them,” Thayen said. “Like when we were chasing Richard’s clone back in The Shade.”

“Ah, Hrista always had comms open with the clones she sent out into The Shade,” Brandon explained. “The magic was set up to respond accordingly.”

Looking back now, it made sense. But I didn’t have another second to dwell on it. The shimmering portal I had last seen emerged before me, like a mouth wide open and filled with diamonds. Its power emanated outward, the air rippling toward me with a peculiar mixture of hot and cold. I reached for it, my spirit desperate to touch it.

“Do you see it yet?” Brandon asked.

“Yes.”

“Can you reach it?”

I’d done this before a couple of times, and I’d told him all about the experience from beginning to end. Having the details, he was able to guide me. He was no expert, but he was the closest thing I had to a mentor in this; he’d gone through more shimmering portals than the entire island’s inhabitants put together. “I can try,” I mumbled.

“Do it.”

As if unchained from my own body, I felt my spirit stretching. I lunged at the portal with a vigorous thrust, the light intensifying into a blinding white before I could feel the shimmer’s curious touch. Exhaustion crept up, almost unseen, and I found myself falling, unable to scream. Brandon caught me in his arms, and I was back in the real world, panting. To my surprise, my body had lunged with me, and my feet had briefly left the ground—I’d gotten up and jumped.

Sweat dripped down my temples, tickling my cheeks.

“Are you okay?” Myst asked, watching me with genuine concern.

I nodded slowly. “Yeah. It’s not a straight path, I’m afraid. I’ll try again.”

“Is that wise?” Thayen replied, his brow furrowed. “You must be tired.”

“I am. But what other choice do I have? Time keeps marching forward, and Hrista has taken over our island. The sooner I can get us out of here, the better,” I said, positioning myself back into a meditative frame: legs crossed, back straight, and palms resting upward on my knees.

Closing my eyes, I took several deep breaths. In. Out. In. Out. Brandon’s hands found both of mine this time, holding tightly. “Let me try something,” he whispered, and I smiled.

“Okay.”

As minutes went by, I experienced a new sensation. A rush of chills burst through me, beginning with my hands. It spread through until every atom in my body was suddenly invigorated, newfound energy pulsating and beckoning me closer to that memory of a shimmering portal. Brandon was giving me some of his spiritual energy, I realized, and the feeling of it coursing through my soul was incredible.

I was light as a feather. Merely an idea floating on the wings of a summer wind.

There it was again. The shimmering portal. I reached out, and this time… this time I felt it tingling my fingertips. I giggled as I ran my hands through the mass of liquid diamonds, trying to understand what it was made of and how I could make one of my own.

“I’m there!” My own voice sounded like a distant echo.

“Hold on to it. What do you see?” Brandon asked.

How could I describe this gaping mouth of raw celestial energy? I couldn’t. “I can tell you how it feels,” I said. “Warm and cold at the same time. Sharp and soft, too. It’s made of everything and nothing at the same time.”

“My energy is yours, Astra. Use it,” he replied.

As if electrified, I allowed my spirit to record and untangle the cosmic tendrils of wonder that made up this incredible phenomenon. I felt myself getting up again, a sharp current flowing through my legs. My hands were on fire as I imagined myself grabbing onto the edges and opening the shimmering portal wider so we might step through it. I wasn’t feeding on Brandon’s energy anymore. I’d let go of him.

Myst gasped. “She’s doing it!”

I opened my eyes and saw it. Small and thin at first, my hands glowing pink as they ripped the very fabric of this world apart. Brandon stood a few feet back, his blazing blue eyes wide with wonder and… pride, I realized, as he beheld my work. Emboldened by what I’d accomplished, I used the last drops of energy I had left to pull the edges of the shimmering portal farther apart.

My muscles ached. My bones hurt. I’d reached my limits already.

I cried out, unable to hold the damn thing anymore. As soon as I let go, the gash closed, and semi-darkness returned to the clearing. The world stopped vibrating, as did my soul. It was over, but I’d done it.

“Wow,” Thayen managed, a grin stretching over his face as he looked at me. “Astra, you did it…”

“I know, right?” I replied, beaming with pride. I couldn’t stand anymore, and I didn’t even realize it until Myst gasped and the image shifted before me as I fell. Brandon was quick to sweep me off my feet, taking me into his arms. “What’s… what’s happening?”

He gave me a soft smile. “You’re exhausted, that’s what’s happening. You’ll have to stop for tonight, Pinkie. It’s time to get you back to bed.”

I’d learned the difference by now between his choice of names for me. Whenever things were serious and Brandon needed me to understand the intensity of what he had to say, he used my name. Whenever he was being affectionate or wished to simply take the edge off and play around, he called me Pinkie. I let my head rest on his shoulder, wrapping my arms around his neck as he carried me away from the clearing.

“See you tomorrow, Astra,” Thayen said from somewhere behind us.

I might have answered, but I wasn’t sure. Melting in Brandon’s arms, I didn’t think I could keep myself awake for another minute. It didn’t matter, anyway. I’d done it. I’d opened a shimmering portal.

This was the confirmation I’d needed—now I knew I could do it again and better. It was no longer a matter of “if” but rather of “when,” and that made me look forward to tomorrow. I only hoped I’d open a portal somewhere in The Shade where the enemy wouldn’t spot it right away. Brandon’s chest felt hard against my relaxed form, his taut muscles firm beneath the black leather. His scent filled my lungs, though I wasn’t sure what fragrances adorned his spirit—it was something sharp and vibrant, with only a tinge of sweetness. I breathed him in, glad to be in his arms.

Soon I’d be in my bed. Part of me wished we could stay like this for a while longer, but darkness came over me and silenced the last stream of consciousness I had left. The world of dreams waited.