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J ulia knew what she ought to ask for. It was what she’d been after since the beginning.

And yet, things had changed.

Her prior curiosity that had spurred her conversation with Hodges now tipped to concern. She desired William, yes. Especially after what he’d done to her body only hours before. Especially when his mouth hovered so close to her own, the spicy scent of him making her arc toward him with yearning.

But there was so much more. She needed to know not just the man, but also the boy who had made this man who he was.

It was her solitary win and she knew exactly what she would ask for.

She lifted her hand to his face, where the grain of his whiskered jaw had been meticulously scraped to softness. “I want to know about your childhood, about your parents, about the fire, and Maribel.”

He blinked. “I’m sorry?”

“Forgive me, I know you thought that I would request, you know.” A blush flared over her cheeks. “But I would like to know what happened. It’s part of discovering you, William, and to do that I need to truly understand you.”

He leaned back, putting a more breathable, less heart-catching distance between them.

He cleared his throat, then rattled his history off with a swift, detached efficiency.

“The country estate caught on fire when I was a boy. My parents died because of me. I would have perished too, were it not for Hodges. I was passed around from house to house because no one wants an orphan. Maribel was my father’s favorite horse. She’s very sick and will soon die.”

The casual lift of his shoulders indicated the end.

But even in that brief tale, there was so, so much.

“Because of you?” Julia repeated. “How could you have possibly caused your parents’ deaths?”

He stared down at his hands. “I was in the study, where I wasn’t supposed to be.

I knew there was a fire and I froze.” He rubbed his fingers together, and then balled his hand in a fist. “I was so afraid I would get in trouble for being in the study that I remained there too long trying to decide what best to do to get out of the situation. My parents were calling me and when I finally emerged, they were on the other side of the split-level stairs. Their side collapsed. The one I was on began to sway and Hodges grabbed me. When I awoke, I’d lost my parents. My family.”

Julia’s heart contracted for the boy who spent a lifetime thinking his parents’ deaths were his fault. She reached out and took his hands in hers. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I don’t know that I’ll ever believe that.

” He lowered his head. “My guilt made me a terror. I misbehaved badly and was sent from the first three homes before I realized I needed to improve my behavior. The better I was, the more invisible I became, the longer I lasted. I stayed with my father’s cousin for two years, though most of that time I was away at school. ”

“That’s why you try so hard to be perfect,” Julia surmised.

He lifted his head and gave a mirthless smile.

And now he was being perfect to keep her. She flinched at the painful realization.

“What do you want?” she asked through numb lips. “More than anything?”

His eyes met hers, deep brown and sincere. “A family.”

Julia could almost hear the crack as her heart broke for him, for the family he’d lost and the family she had been fighting to keep from him.

His hands tightened on hers. “Please give me a chance, Julia.”

A log settled in the hearth, and something deep within the glowing center popped and hissed. William tensed.

“You’re afraid of fire, aren’t you?” she asked.

He lifted a brow.

“I saw you hesitate,” she explained. “At the brandy bowl.”

“And you saved me,” he said apologetically.

“You were the one who saved me. Even though I was surrounded in the one thing you feared most. Why?”

He pulled his hands free from hers and cupped her face in his palms. “Because I love you, Julia. I’ve loved you since the day I asked Lady Bursbury for an introduction and she got it in her head to play matchmaker.

I saw how your eyes lingered on me at the first ball we attended together, and I couldn’t get you out of my mind.

It’s why I asked to court you immediately, why I married you so quickly.

” His thumb brushed her cheek. “I love you enough to let you go, if that is truly what you wish.” He pressed a kiss to her brow and settled his forehead against hers. “But it is not what I want.”

“William.” His name emerged from her tight throat in a catch.

He pressed his thumb to her mouth, sealing it. “Don’t say anything, please. I just want you to understand what you mean to me.”

With that, he got to his feet.

Julia snapped her head up. “Where are you going?”

“To let Lady Bursbury know you are well. She’s terribly worried.” He swept a hand over Julia’s hair in an affectionate caress. “And to allow you time to think over what I’ve said.”

But she didn’t have to think. She already knew. This man who had faced his fears to save her, who had lost everything and sought only to gain back the wholeness of his heart, she had to give him a chance. She had to give herself a chance.

He paused at the door. “To be fair, I do not count this as your prize. If you would like to claim another, I will offer no complaints.” Then he was gone.

She couldn’t help the smile on her lips any more than she could dim the lightness in her soul. For she knew her fears about William were unfounded.

That was not all she had reconciled within her soul. She was finally ready to admit what she had felt the first time those warm brown eyes met hers. It had fueled her suspicion and put a visceral edge to her fear, and now she finally understood why: she loved her husband.

She always had.

William had spent most of his life behind a shield, steeling himself and his heart from rejection.

However, the baring of his deepest hurt and greatest wish to Julia did not leave him as achingly vulnerable as he had anticipated.

No, he felt comforted, the rocky bed of his childhood finally smoothed.

She knew now what he wanted, and why he wanted it. He only hoped it would be enough to change her mind. Not that he would ever stop trying if it didn’t.

Lady Bursbury had been exceedingly grateful he had informed her Julia’s burn was minor and she would recover easily. He’d never seen Lady Bursbury in such a nervous state, and she’d continued to apologize profusely, despite it not being any real fault of hers.

As he approached the chamber to return to Julia, the door to his right opened and Lady Venerton stepped out. She caught his gaze and her eyes widened. “Your Grace,” she gasped.

Quickly, she shut her door and swept toward him.

William stiffened and resisted the very rude urge to take a step away from her. The odor of brandy hovered around her like a fog.

“I wanted to talk to you,” she said in a breathy whisper.

William exhaled to avoid being victim to her pungent breath. Good God, had the woman drank a full decanter on her own?

“Lady Venerton, my wife has been injured, if you’ll recall?—”

“That is what I wanted to talk to you about.” Lady Venerton pushed her shoulders back so her small breasts were shoved high on her chest. She lowered her head in a way she must have intended to be seductive, except it made her look as fully foxed as she smelled, eyes half-mast and mouth slack.

“She doesn’t deserve you. I know men like you. Strong, healthy, virile. You need?—”

“This is highly inappropriate.” William turned from the woman.

She grabbed his arm, her grip strong. Before he could realize what the countess was doing, she threw her body against him.

William flew back against the wall at the unexpected press of weight and knocked a vase from the table.

It crashed to the floor, and Lady Venerton’s mouth pressed wetly against his.

A soft cry came from somewhere behind Lady Venerton.

“William.”

He recognized that voice. Oh God, he recognized that voice.

Julia.