Page 31 of A Sea of Vows and Silence (The Naiads of Juile #3)
Cebrinne
S elena stood abruptly. We all looked up at her, our attention caught by her sudden movement. She crossed her arms. “I’m heading back to Calder.”
“Tonight?” Aegir’s brows lifted.
She lifted her chin. “Yes.”
“Is that such a good idea?” I asked, straightening my spine.
“I don’t know. Probably not. I thought I’d take a page out of your book and decide not to care. Pheolix is coming with me.”
Halfway to his feet, Pheolix’s eyes raised at the sound of his name. “I was ordered to stay with both of you.”
Selena snorted, though the sound was more growl than anything else. “Do you always do what he expects you to?” She stalked away, ripping her dress off over her head before diving into the water.
Pheolix glanced at the two of us.
I motioned toward the water. “Go, you idiot.”
“I am,” Pheolix said. “You’ll stay with her, fish king?”
Aegir’s mouth crooked. “I’ll stay with her, gnat.”
The drone hurried to follow Selena’s steps, yanking off his shirt much the same as she had. He disappeared into a cresting wave, and then all was quiet except for the sea. My thumb twitched absently, and I realized Aegir’s hand was still wrapped around it.
“She doesn’t like to talk about what Theia told us,” I explained, calmly pulling myself out of his grasp. “She pretends it didn’t happen. ”
Aegir shifted away, folding his hands in his lap. “You scared her when you jumped.” One of his braids swept my shoulder, and he gathered it away, his fingertips warm. “You scared all of us.”
I nodded. “I needed her to see it.”
“See what?”
“All of it,” I sighed. “The impossible task designed to kill. But also, that it didn’t kill me.”
But more than that, I needed Selena to witness me leap into a black pit and emerge alive. To prove a forecast she’d been trying to deny since Theia sent the tide crashing through our plans. My fate was decided, and no amount of stone collecting or Naiad befriending would sway fate’s hand.
“You needed her to see it? Or you needed yourself to?”
“I don’t know.” I set the plate beside me to draw in my knees, wrapping my arms around them.
Aegir’s mouth thinned. “Where did Theia say you’d die?”
“In Leihani.”
“Leihani.” He leaned away, gazing at me in quiet shock.
“She said I’d take a human cordae and have a daughter.” For some reason, the words felt like an apology. One I hadn’t prepared to give, surprising me as it left my tongue.
Aegir scratched at his cheek, taking his time to consider my words as his green gaze chased the corners and shadows of the cave. “A human cordae ,” he finally echoed.
I smiled. At least, I tried to. The corners of my mouth lifted, though my eyes sank to the floor, and an iron anchor pressed into the center of my stomach, weighted with cold shame and, to my disbelief, a twinge of disappointment. “I’m sorry, Aegir.”
“Why are you sorry?” He smiled, and something about his smile sent an electric tingle through my skin. “It’s not as though you led me to think there was any chance of a match here.” He motioned between us. “If anything, you did the opposite. ”
I arched my back, stretching the tightness in my neck. “Maybe not, but still. I think you…”
“Wondered?” His smile grew. “I suppose that’s fair. I wondered.”
We watched the tide. The slow roll of it, the soft crash.
“So, this entire plan was for Selena’s benefit? You didn’t actually think we could kill Thaan, and you didn’t want my help. You just needed Selena to see you try?”
I ran a hand through my roots. “Theia said she’s the only one who could reach the stones.”
“Selena?”
I shook my head. “My daughter.”
“Ah. Well.” He broke a piece of fish off, tossing it into his mouth. “It sounds as though she’s worth following Theia’s words for. If she’s the only one who can reach the stones, how will you convince Thaan to let you live on the islands and raise her?”
I met his eyes, that iron in my stomach growing, digging into my lungs and swallowing my breath. Heat prickled the back of my throat, a watery burn I didn’t even try to banish.
Aegir’s mouth parted. “Oh.”
“It’s for the best,” I said, forcing a swallow.
“Selena would be better off if I weren’t here.
And I’m not even saying that in a poor excuse at self-pity, so don’t start,” I quickly added as he opened his mouth to argue.
“She touts her freedom if you ask, reminding you that she never vowed her life to Thaan. But she’s as much a prisoner as I am while I’m breathing.
Thaan didn’t need to chain her blood. I’m her chains.
But if anything worries me about leaving, it’s her.
” I nestled my chin onto a kneecap. “Selena is smarter than I am. I’m not afraid to admit that.
She’s patient, but she has her rash moments, especially when she’s hurt.
She’s kind until she’s in pain. Then she aims to kill. ”
“I’ve noticed.” He chuckled .
I smiled too, stealing a small bite from my plate. “It would be comforting to know that when I leave, I leave her among those I can trust.” I chewed, but the lump of fish in my mouth felt more like an oily wad, devoid of flavor or texture.
“You know,” he said slowly, “Selena would be welcome in Venusia.”
“I don’t think she’d ever swear her blood to another Naiad.” I stole a glance at him, cast in shadows under the pale moon. His lashes fanned from his eyes like a thick, dark forest, the faint freckles across his nose and cheeks souvenirs of the sun.
“I can’t blame her for that,” Aegir mumbled, that crook in his mouth reappearing. “So. Leihani.”
“Leihani.”
“Ever been?”
“No,” I let myself smile. “Have you?”
“A couple times. Never on the island itself, just in Sidra’s waters. Once with my father when he asked for her help. And once more, just last year, when I became Videre . It’s a quiet island. You’ll like it if you choose to go. Though the islanders there don’t welcome Naiads.”
My brows flickered, and I tilted my head. “If I choose to.”
Aegir gave me a small shrug. “You don’t have to.”
“Yes, I do. Nothing will ever change if I don’t.”
He bowed his head, drumming his fingers over his thigh. Then leaned toward me, hesitant, as though waiting for me to tell him not to. Until he was close enough that his breath ghosted over my cheeks. The air grew scarce as he mused over my face, close enough to reflect on every pore.
“What are you doing?” I whispered.
“Memorizing.”
My mouth twitched, brushing against his lower lip. “What are you memorizing?”
“The blow of losing someone I care about.” He smiled. “To a human man, no less. ”
My gaze locked onto his mouth, hovering just beyond mine. “It doesn’t really matter. I haven’t even met him yet. I don’t know who he is.”
“Wish I knew him,” he murmured. “So I could clot his heart.”
I laughed, though something in my chest tightened. The lump in my throat returned, dry and rough and raw, and I dipped my chin, pulling away. But Aegir caught me gently with his hand, pulling me back. His eyes closed, and instinct was the only force that drove mine to close as well.
My hand fell to his chest as he pressed his lips against mine, silk gathering in my fist, though I wasn’t sure if I was pushing him away or pulling him closer. His mouth was soft and his propulsion slow, a solid weight thrust over my jaw as he slid his grip from my chin to the side of my neck.
I twisted my fingers into his shirt, using it to reel myself in, exploring the slow ignition of fire as it exploded along the edge of my mouth.
The rawness in my throat burned alongside it, but it faded in the passing seconds as his opposite hand gathered my hair behind my shoulders, freeing my neck enough that his thumb slid under the lobe of my ear.
Wondered? I suppose that’s fair. I wondered.
I don’t even know why I’d shared any of it with him.
Selena, Leihani, my future cordae . Maybe the sinking knot in my stomach had been molded from something like guilt—not that I’d ever welcomed guilt as a necessary tool to weigh options and emotions.
In that case, maybe my confession was strategic; a plea for guilt from him , so that he’d help Selena after I’d left.
Maybe secrets were burdens, and I was chasing relief by sharing mine.
Whatever it was, it wasn’t that some part of me had wondered, too.
Not at all.
Not even a little.