Page 15 of A Scandalous Agreement with an Earl

Chapter 15

“So, a man upset her?” Jonathon wondered, just after Edward had explained to him what had happened.

“Yes,” Edward confirmed, raking his fingers through his hair, slightly nervously. He had gotten all dressed up to pay a visit to Vivianne and ask her of her decision. However, Jonathon had decided to visit him unexpectedly, obviously concerned about Vivianne as well. An explanation was due, which he tried to keep short and to the point.

“There was something between them before,” Edward mused. “I am certain of it. When Vivianne saw Reginald, she was visibly shaken. And when we spoke to him, she was pale as a sheet. It’s clear there’s some history there, and it’s not a pleasant one. I need to find out what happened between them.”

Jonathon nodded slowly, absorbing his words. “I see. But why are you so determined to dig into this? Why does it matter?”

Edward hesitated for a moment. “Because I… want to marry Vivianne.”

Jonathon’s eyes widened in surprise. “Marry her? Are you serious?”

Edward straightened his shoulders, trying to appear resolute and reasonable, as if his decision had nothing to do with the heart, solely with the mind. “Yes. It’s the most logical thing to do.”

Jonathon leaned forward, studying Edward’s face intently. “Logical? This isn’t just about logic, Edward. Do you have feelings for her?”

Edward bristled at the question, refusing to admit the depth of his emotions. “It is not about feelings, Jonathon. Vivianne is a wonderful woman, and we get along well. It makes sense to marry her, especially taking into account that I need to marry for my inheritance. It will be yet another marriage of convenience in a row of others. I honestly don’t know why you are making such a big deal of this.”

Jonathon shook his head, a knowing smile playing at the corners of his mouth. “Because it is a big deal. And you’re fooling yourself, Edward. This isn’t just about practicality. You care about her more than you’re willing to admit.”

Edward looked away, unable to meet his friend’s gaze. “I care about her, yes. But that doesn’t mean I’m in love with her. This is a logical decision, nothing more.”

Jonathon sighed, leaning back in his chair. “If you say so. But mark my words, Edward. You can’t ignore your feelings forever. They have a way of catching up with you.”

Edward waved his hand dismissively. “Don’t be absurd, old boy. There are no emotions, just mere… practicalities. And perhaps a bit of curiosity to find out more about that Reginald fellow.”

“Are you sure that you aren’t jealous of him?” Jonathon’s words pierced through Edward’s defenses.

Edward scoffed. “Well, now you’ve really outdone yourself in absurdity. I don’t feel jealousy for the very simple reason that it requires emotions. No, I am merely… interested in his past with Vivianne, because I could see the effect that man had on her. And honestly, I didn’t like it, not one bit.”

Jonathon gave him a sideways glance, then inhaled deeply and let the matter rest, at least for the time being. “All right, then. Are you heading to the DuPont residence now?”

“Yes,” Edward affirmed. “I shall go and see what Vivianne has decided.”

***

About an hour later, Edward was standing outside Vivianne’s home, feeling somewhat anxious. While he kept reminding himself that this was by no means a theatrical marriage proposal as people usually liked to make them, that didn’t diminish his anxiety about asking. Furthermore, Jonathon’s words made him think.

Was he truly jealous of that Reginald fellow? No matter how much he would like that not to be possible, that would explain a lot. But he didn’t want to think in that direction. Yes, he could admit to some affection, because it was impossible not to be charmed by Vivianne, but that was all.

He was ushered in by the butler, and several moments later, Vivianne greeted him in the drawing rom. As soon as she said good morning, he immediately noticed a change in her demeanor. Her usual vivacity was subdued, her eyes red-rimmed as if she had been crying. They exchanged polite pleasantries, but there was a distance between them that hadn’t been there before. Against all common sense, it concerned him.

“Is everything all right?” he inquired tenderly, leaning closer to her as he spoke.

“Yes,” she said, somehow strangely, lifting an eyebrow at him. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

He wanted to tell her that everything about her screamed that something was wrong, but it was obvious that she didn’t want to talk about that. Forcing her to open up would only make her withdraw even more.

“Shall we take a walk in the garden?” he suggested, trying to keep his tone light. “I noticed your mother and sister are outside, doing some gardening. We could sit on a bench near them, so we are chaperoned, and yet have some privacy.”

She nodded silently, allowing him to guide her outside. They made their way to a bench just outside the house. Edward made sure that they were within sight, close enough to see her mother and sister, but far enough to give them a semblance of privacy.

As they sat down, he took a deep breath. He couldn’t understand why his nerves were so unsteady, why his throat was parched, and why it was so difficult to find the right words to say what he had come to say.

“I came here to ask you if you’ve made up your mind about my proposition,” he reminded her, trying to be as clear as possible.

“Oh,” she said, as if that was the last thing on her mind.

He felt a pang of something strange. Could it really be jealousy? Because if she was not thinking about him and what they discussed, something—or better yet, someone—else had been occupying her mind. Edward didn’t like that one bit.

“Vivianne,” he said softly, reaching out to take her hand, “what’s wrong? You don’t seem yourself today.” He paused, wondering whether to ask the following question. Then he decided that he would never be able to forgive himself if he remained silent. “Have you been crying?”

She stiffened at his touch, pulling her hand away almost as if she had touched fire. “It’s nothing, Edward. Just some... personal matters.”

Edward’s concern deepened. “Please, Vivianne, you can talk to me. If something is troubling you, I want to help.”

He felt as if he had been repeating that sentence over and over again since the moment they stumbled onto that man. That was when he was certain of his subconscious fears. Her mind was occupied by another man, and that could mean only one thing.

As if able to read his mind, Vivianne suddenly spoke. “Reginald and I had been friends from childhood. As we grew up together, our feelings developed into something deeper, something neither of us anticipated. I think I was hopelessly in love with him while we were still just friends, I just refused to see it. Then, my first Season came, and would you believe it, I was the belle of the ball.” She chuckled at those words, as if that were the most incredulous thing that could have happened.

Edward didn’t think it was. She was the most beautiful, breathtaking woman he had ever seen, and it was easy to imagine her being the one everyone was pining after. However, he didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to interrupt her; he wanted to allow her as much time as she needed to say what lay so heavily on her heart.

“Then, one evening, we opened our hearts to each other,” she continued, her eyes gazing into the distance, focused on some point only she could see. “Our romance commenced, within all confinements of propriety, of course, and we had plans of getting married. Everything seemed perfect—but as you know, there is no such thing as perfection. We all learn that, but far too late.”

That was where she paused again. He could tell it was difficult for her to recount those events, and he appreciated the moment of raw vulnerability that was now binding them together.

“Then, the scandal happened,” she said, her voice down to a whisper. “There was talk of so many women Reginald had started a secret romance with, promising them everything he had promised me. One woman announced that she was pregnant by him and that was why his family enrolled him in the Navy, to send him away from it all and avoid any further scandal.”

Edward felt as if someone punched him in the gut. The man had made so many promises, keeping none. He despised such people. They deserved a special place in Hell.

“He came to see me yesterday.”

Vivianne’s words proved there was more to the story, and it was exactly what he had feared. As he listened, his entire body tightened—his jaw, his fists, his spine.

“He claimed that he still loves me. He tried to convince me that the past was a mistake, that he wants to make amends.” Her voice was dark and bitter.

Edward’s grip on the bench tightened. He had to admit that her confession took him off guard. He wasn’t expecting something so convoluted, something so deep. He had half a mind to march over to that man and flatten him into the ground beneath them. But that wouldn’t solve anything. Revenge never brought anything good.

“It all makes sense now,” he said softly, focusing his rage and molding it into compassion.

“What does?” she asked, looking away from that invisible point in the distance and turning to him.

“Your reputation as a self-imposed spinster,” he clarified, choosing his words cautiously to avoid offending her in any manner. “Your… what did they say… frigidity.”

She smiled somehow sadly at that word. “People say what they want,” she said simply. “You can’t stop them.”

“I know,” he agreed. “I’ve been called many things in my lifetime, too. I know how it feels. But you know, I’ve never considered it from the woman’s perspective. This same situation, I mean.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, her voice soft, mouse-like and barely audible. He felt a sudden desire to wrap his arms around her and whisper into her ear that everything would be all right. But his arms didn’t move.

“Well, my, um… affairs,” he said, feeling slightly embarrassed.

He had never been ashamed of his past before. But with her, a part of him wished that it weren’t as black as it was, that there was some semblance of a good, moral man inside of him.

“I always considered these affairs to be mutually beneficial. That was why I have always been forward and honest with the women I was seeing. They all knew what to expect and, more importantly, what not to expect of me. I never lied to any of them. I never made any promises I had no intention of keeping.” His speech halted, as he searched for the words to continue. “What Reginald did… that doesn’t make him a rake. It makes him a coward.”

They exchanged a meaningful glance, and he knew the connection between them was growing deeper with each passing day, with each exchanged secret. Now, he was opening up to her, telling her things he hadn’t told even to Jonathon.

“Thank you,” she said, smiling. She seemed slightly relieved, although not back to her usual cheerful self. “For listening to my very long story and for being so patient. Your kindness means more to me than you know.”

Edward’s heart swelled at her words, but he couldn’t ignore the gnawing question that had been plaguing him. He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Vivianne, I need to ask you something important. Do you... do you still have feelings for Reginald?”

Her head snapped up, her eyes wide with surprise and something else he couldn’t quite identify. Then, her words followed. “No, Edward,” she began, but then she hesitated, and he saw the conflict in her eyes. “It’s just... seeing him again brought back so many memories. It’s confusing.”

Edward’s heart ached at her uncertainty, and the bitter taste of something utterly unfamiliar seeped into his thoughts. He hated the idea that Reginald could still hold any part of her heart.

That was when he recognized the foreign emotion that had been lurking in the background: jealousy. He had been trying to ignore it, to rationalize it away, but he couldn’t deny it any longer. He was jealous of Reginald, jealous of the hold he still seemed to have on Vivianne.

They sat in silence for a time, the sounds of the garden and the distant chatter of her family keeping him rooted in the present moment. Asking her to marry him in this moment would be wrong. She couldn’t think about that right now. He had to wait, and in the meantime, deal with sensations that were surfacing, whether he wanted them to or not.