Page 14 of A Scandalous Agreement with an Earl
Chapter 14
“Viv, wait.” Aurelia rushed after her as soon as they arrived home. “I can see that something is bothering you. Please…” She took Vivianne’s hand into her own. “Tell me how I can help you.”
“You know I love you, Aurelia.” Vivianne spoke softly, but she felt as if every word had the power to shatter her entire being. She couldn’t talk about what had happened. Not now. She had to sleep on it, to allow her mind to properly process stumbling onto that man again, after everything that had happened. “I’ll tell you everything tomorrow, all right?”
All Aurelia could do was comply.
That night, Vivianne didn’t sleep. Not that she thought she would be able to. She kept revisiting the meeting in the square, Reginald’s words, his eyes, his mannerisms—she remembered them all well… too well. She ought to hate him with every fiber of her being, and she’d thought she did, but the hurt still felt too fresh. How could that be possible? She was certain that she didn’t love him, but if that were true, how come she was so affected by the sight of him? None of it made any sense.
She tossed and turned the entire night, finally waking up at the break of dawn. She had no appetite for breakfast, nor did she have any desire for morning tea. When she tried to hide away in the garden, she knew Aurelia would come after her. The serene beauty of the scene did little to calm her down. In fact, she doubted anything had the power to do that.
“Can I join you?”
Vivianne heard Aurelia’s footsteps first, then her question.
“Of course.” She offered a small smile, but it was more effort than she’d thought it would be.
She remembered how they would sit there as little girls, sharing every single secret. There was nothing that they would keep from each other, and now, Vivianne felt as if she had somehow drifted away from her sister, from the person she loved more than anyone else. She felt guilty, but at the same time, it was a burden she wanted to carry alone. Besides, she couldn’t explain to Aurelia something she couldn’t quite explain to herself.
Aurelia took a seat by her side, inhaling deeply. Vivianne waited for her to ask something, but Aurelia just sat there in silence. After what felt like a small eternity, Vivianne finally turned to her.
“Are you going to ask me?” she inquired.
Aurelia glanced over at her. “You know that whatever is bothering you, it is better to talk about it. Keeping everything bottled up inside won’t help.”
Vivianne knew that to be true, though some things were best left in the past, where they belonged. Still, she owed Aurelia at least some sort of an explanation. They had always been very close, never keeping anything from each other.
“Edward and I stumbled onto Reginald while we were on the way to fetch a blacksmith…” she started, providing Aurelia with the basic outline of what had transpired.
As she listened intently, Aurelia’s eyes expressed more than words ever could. There was surprise, shock, amazement, and fear—an amalgamation of mostly unpleasant sensations.
“So there,” Vivianne concluded. “That is what happened.”
“You obviously still have feelings for him.”
Aurelia’s words shocked her. Her entire body rebelled against the idea. “I most certainly do not,” Vivianne hissed quietly, not wanting anyone to overhear.
“Then why are you reacting in such a way?” Aurelia inquired, without any judgment.
“I… he hurt me,” Vivianne admitted. “And that is something I do not wish to go back to. Not when it is all in the past. I don’t care about him or about what happened. I was merely… startled by seeing him again, nothing else. Whatever happened between us is in the past—and most importantly, it is over.”
Aurelia sighed. “You say that, but I can see how much it’s affecting you. Maybe talking about it would help.”
Vivianne shook her head stubbornly. “There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t want to dredge up old memories. I just want to move on and look to the future. I cannot do that if I am constantly forced to look back, over my shoulder.”
Aurelia pressed her lips together, clearly torn between wanting to respect Vivianne’s wishes and wanting to help her. “I just hate seeing you like this,” she said softly. “You don’t have to go through it alone.”
Vivianne gave her a faint, weary smile. “I appreciate that, Aurelia. Really, I do. But I need to handle this my way. I’ll be fine.”
Aurelia nodded reluctantly. She reached out and squeezed her sister’s hand, offering silent support. “Alright,” she said finally, “but if you ever change your mind, I’m here for you.”
Vivianne squeezed her hand back, grateful for Aurelia’s understanding even as she remained resolute in her decision. “Thank you.”
Aurelia gave her one last searching look before standing up. “I’ll be inside if you need me,” she said with another reassuring pat to Vivianne’s shoulder as she headed back toward the house.
Left alone in the garden, Vivianne sighed and leaned back against the bench, closing her eyes. She could still see Reginald’s face, his eyes filled with memories she had tried so hard to forget. She had convinced herself that she didn’t care, that the past was the past, but seeing him had reopened old wounds she’d thought had long since healed.
As much as she wanted to deny it, the truth was that Reginald’s appearance had unsettled her deeply. She wasn’t sure how to process the emotions swirling within her, and the thought of confiding in anyone, even Edward, felt too vulnerable.
Vivianne barely had time to collect herself when she heard rustling from the bushes. Jumping from her seat and thinking it might be a lost dog or a cat, she rushed toward the sound of commotion. However, a moment later, she realized—much to her horror—that it wasn’t a lost animal at all.
It was a lost human… namely, Reginald.
She watched him slip through a familiar gap in the garden wall that separated their families’ properties. It was a path he had used countless times before, during their childhood and later, while they were something more than just friends and neighbors. But now, seeing him there felt like a cruel twist of fate, as if he were trespassing on not only her home but also her own personal space, suffocating her with his very presence.
He jumped before her, cleaning his shoulders from the leaves and branches he had caught along the way. He still had that boyish grin she’d once thought was so charming.
“Vivianne,” he said her name softly, just like he had done so many times before. Now, she wanted to forbid him from ever saying her name again… if such a thing were possible. Unfortunately, it was not. “I’m glad I caught you here,” he glanced around, “alone. Can we talk?”
Her heart pounded with a mixture of anger and confusion. “What are you doing here, Reginald?” She refused to address him as Reggie. That was reserved for friends and family. She was neither to him, nor was he to her.
He stepped closer, while she was still confused as to his visit. What did he want from her? Hadn’t he done enough?
“I just wanted to see you, Viv,” he spoke tenderly. She wanted to slap him for that “Viv ,” but again, her hand refused to follow the command, so she merely clenched her fists in powerlessness. All she could do was listen as she struggled to form coherent words inside her mind.
“You’ve seen me,” she snarled. “Now, go back the way you came from and never return.”
“Please, Viv,” he urged. “Seeing you yesterday, I… I was mesmerized. All the feelings I ever had for you washed over me at once. You haven’t changed a bit.”
“Neither have you, I’m certain,” she replied furiously, refusing to allow a single one of those words to get past the carefully guarded confines of her heart. “That means we have nothing to talk about.”
“But we do,” he insisted, his voice heavy as honey, and she felt it dripping all over her body, her ears, her eyes, keeping her stuck in place. “We have so much to talk about, if only you would allow me a moment of your precious time—”
“You mean, talk about what happened before?” she asked, placing her hands on her hips. Rage boiled in every fiber of her being and she allowed it to come to the surface. “About how you lied to me? How you led me on the entire time you were courting me? Or perhaps you would like to talk about all those women you were caught dallying with? One of them was even suspected to be with child!”
She shook her head incredulously at him. “So yes, just pick any of those topics, Reginald. They are all your doing.”
His eyes widened at her accusations almost as if he were hearing them for the first time. Then, like a sly cat, he landed on his feet.
“No, no, you’ve got it all wrong, Viv,” he said apologetically. “I was… young and foolish. I didn’t understand the importance of being loyal to one woman, to the only woman I ever loved and I ever will love. But believe me, I know all of that now. I am a changed man. Please allow me to prove it to you.”
She could feel her teeth gritting. Did he truly believe that she would forget everything he had done to her, how she had given him her heart and he’d spat on it, thrown it in the mud and stomped on it as if it were nothing? She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
“You truly are mad,” she said, utterly incredulous at his words. In fact, she was incredulous at herself that she was still there, listening to all that nonsense.
“Yes, mad about you, my love.” He seized the chance to charm her, but it didn’t work. “Nothing and no one else matters—only you.”
Her heart twisted at his words, painful knives of truth stabbing it over and over again, but she shook her head, trying to hold on to her anger. “You expect me to believe that? After everything you did?”
He nodded earnestly. “Yes, because it’s the truth, and the truth hurts. I made mistakes, but my feelings for you have never wavered, even in the face of everything I’ve done.”
“Just go,” she spat at him. “I’ve had enough of your lies. Just leave me alone.”
But he was persistent, stepping closer again, although she was adamant to keep her distance from him. “Please, Viv. Just give me a chance.”
The walls were closing in on her, his presence overwhelming. “If you don’t leave right now, I’ll scream. I swear I will.”
He lifted his hands to the level of his chest, mockingly surrendering. His expression turned steely, but he nodded reluctantly.
“All right, I will go. But not before I tell you something very important. I understand that you are hurt, but I will do my best to get you to listen to me. And then… I will have your hand in marriage.”
His words shocked her to her very core. She didn’t know what to say to that, so she just watched him turn and disappear back through the gap in the wall. As soon as he was gone, Vivianne collapsed onto the bench, tears streaming down her face. She felt like a lost, foolish girl all over again, the pain of the past crashing down on her. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed, the weight of her emotions too much to bear.
Vivianne sat there for a moment longer, letting the tears flow freely. She couldn’t think straight. It was as if her mind wasn’t her own any longer, as if her own thoughts refused to make even the semblance of any order.
But she needed to calm down. The last thing she wanted was for anyone to see her like this, vulnerable and broken. Taking a deep breath, she wiped her tears away with trembling hands and forced herself to stand.
She looked around the garden, seeking a place where she could compose herself without being disturbed. The small gazebo at the far end seemed like the perfect refuge. She walked briskly, her footsteps crunching on the gravel path, and reached the gazebo, shrouded in the dappled shade of the surrounding trees.
Once inside, she sank onto the wooden bench, closing her eyes and taking deep, steadying breaths. She focused on the sounds of the garden—the rustle of leaves, the chirping of birds, the distant murmur of the household. Slowly, her racing heart began to calm, and her thoughts became less frantic.
Vivianne had to regain control. She couldn't let Reggie's sudden reappearance and his unsettling words unravel her. She had come so far since those days, had built a new life for herself. She had to remember that, to hold on to the strength she had found.